Happy New Year!

As I write this post, people all around my neighborhood are popping fireworks. In fact, I've just stepped inside from watching the colorful display going on all around our house. It irritated us the first two years we lived here - that is, every family on the block (except for us) popping fireworks for every occasion that deserved it. Any upcoming celebration of any kind that might go nation-wide warrants hundreds of red fireworks stands just on Main Street alone. We noticed that they are even taking MasterCard and Visa now! Holy cow. Last year I had to put a damper on our neighbor's festivities when they lit every Black Cat in the free world right outside the kids' windows. Noodle didn't sleep for the rest of the night. I guess the kids have gotten used to it by now, too. It's coming up on thirty minutes now and it's not let up one bit. Ah, well. At least the bright side is, there's no need to go downtown for any New Year's celebration or colorful displays. I could see lots and lots of beautiful displays just standing in my very own driveway. And believe you me, these folks spare no expense. I know firsthand of neighbors who spend upwards of $400 - and I'd like to be the first to thank them! I've seen fireworks displays to rival that of my neighbors in San Francisco! I'm not kidding, ya'll, the stuff our neighborhood pulls out have got to be illegal somewhere, but not in good ol', Somewhere Near Houston, Texas! No, siree! If you don't believe me, come and spend the next holiday-warranting-fireworks, and I'll prove it to you.
Other than all that, I hope ya'll had a wonderful Christmas and have a very Happy New Year! If I can find some earplugs, I'm going to bed!

See What I Mean?

What They Will See in the Morning

The Kitchen!!!! My amazing $10 find. Outfitted by $1 items from Target. The special aprons from my favorite elves that sew, are delayed in the mail but we will enjoy them so much when they get here to complete The Kitchen!!! Can't wait to send pics of the kids wearing them. The Barbie house - was FREE - outfitted with furniture that was a steal-of-a-deal, thanks to Ebay! The flowery sleeping bag that's peeking out down in the left corner, also FREE!!!!
Stockings, baby doll for Noodle, Razor Scooter for Chicken Nugget. Also dirt cheap items.
Pup tent - $6 from work. I heart my discount. It all looks like so much loot, but I still can't believe that we spent hardly any money. I am posting these pics because I wanted ya'll to see it before it was all played with and not recognizable, especially The Kitchen (of which I am MOST proud!). Also, I'm afraid we won't see the first reactions, but will be pulled out of bed as the kids come to tell us of all they have found around the tree.
God bless you all this Christmas! I'm so thankful for the Reason that we celebrate and are able to exchange gifts to remember that first and most wonderful Gift of all, Jesus!

More Cute Pictures

Banana enjoying a chocolate Pop Tart.
At our Christmas party with Kelly and Jarvis, our other friends that were there, Mr. and Mrs. Hot Chocolate, got Noodle a cool pink chair. Noodle thought it was so cool that she put it on top of the coffee table and sat in it so that everyone could see.
Also at the Christmas party with Jarvis, Kelly, and Mr. and Mrs. Hot Chocolate, we tried to get a cute pic of the kids in front of the tree. This was one attempt.
This was another.
This would have been a very good picture, but the flash didn't go off. And Noodle wasn't looking. Oh, well.
Noodle waking up from a nap.

Noodle, happy to be awake!

Eating, Sleeping, and Breathing . . .

Well, eating and breathing anyway.

And oh yeah, working.

I'm an insomniac begging for help!

I've been working nights lately, from 4:30-10pm, which means I sometimes don't get home till 11 or even 11:30. The time I get home depends on how many customers are still in the store at 10pm (we stay until they leave, and we don't give them any cues as to when they should leave, so we're at their mercy) and how much clean-up there is to do after the last customer is gone.

When I get home, I cannot just fall into bed, much as I want to. I'm still wound up from customer and co-worker interactions and from all the work I've just done. So I might have a little ice cream, watch some Letterman, you know, just sit for awhile.

But the past couple of days, even that hasn't been working. I can't fall asleep! And ya'll, I NEED my sleep. I lay down and will myself to sleep. Doesn't work. I don't know what to do! I've never not been able to fall asleep before, ever. And by the time I get home and wind down, I have precious few hours in which to catch those z's before my day begins oh, so early in the morning.

So, any suggestions? A different kind of snack? No snack at all? Warm milk? Anything? I am open to just about anything at this point.

Here's wishing you all pleasant dreams!

The Way That People Treat Their Kids

I'm far, far, far from perfect. I parent incorrectly most of the time. I work hard at giving people the benefit of the doubt, mostly because I screw up so often and know what it's like to fail. But there's something that has been bugging me and, ya'll, I've got to get it off my chest.

It's the way that people treat their kids in public. I'll be sharing three examples that I have witnessed at work just over this past week.

First example:

A lady is shopping with her granddaughter. The little girl is about 5 or so, and crying miserably. The lady tells the little girl, repeatedly and rudely, to shut up.

"Shut up. You better shut up. You do this every time. You just better shut up."
And saying other rude and threatening things, in a very loud voice. The store manager and I are standing close by, knowing we can't take much more, so the manager walks over to try to comfort the child with some kind words; then I walk over and ask the little girl if she needs a drink of water.

"What she NEEDS is to shut up!" Says the grandmother.

Second example:

A lady is shopping with two or three small children. One little girl in particular, about age 6 or 7, is being compliant and pretty quiet from my observation, but has done something to upset her mother terribly. She is very loudly telling the little girl that she is bad and undeserving of things and that she is going to tear the little girl's hair out.

Third example:

A lady is shopping with her three older kids, I'd say ages 8 and up. The kids are really bugging her, though they seemed to be behaving from my vantage point. By the time she is ready to check out, she is very rudely and loudly telling her kids to be quiet, and then tells me she needs a belt. I start to show her where the belts are, but she says, "No, I mean to beat my kids with." It was a joke, only I didn't find it that funny. As she leaves, she says to her kids, "Come on, Children of the Corn, let's go."

The sad thing is, there's really not much I can do, but pray for these families when I encounter them. Like I say, my family is not perfect or even good sometimes, but I just think there are better ways to deal with unruly children while the family is in public. Take them into the bathroom to talk to them, or into the car.

But more than that, it was the blatant uncaring rudeness toward their kids that gets me. I am so sad and angered when I see this, and especially when I see the faces of the children. Especially when it didn't seem to me that the kids were behaving badly (and believe you me, BW and I deal with our own unruly kids enough. Noodle can pitch a fit to put anyone else's fits to shame, and they always happen in the middle of Wal-Mart! So I know what a naughty, defiant kid looks and acts like!); of course, I don't know what has happened between parent and child prior to the shopping trip, and I really am trying so hard not to judge.

But sometimes enough is enough, and you can look at a situation and know that something's not right, and I just wanted to talk about it.

Have Yourself a Texas Little Christmas

Just wanted ya'll to see what we've been doing this fine Dec. 13, just 12 days before Christmas! We've been playing outside in our shorts and camo t-shirts :o) The weather is lovely and in the low 70's with surprisingly low humidity. The skies are clear and sunny. I wanted you to see Noodle and Banana as they posed by our candy cane Christmas lights that line our driveway. They weren't much into posing, but at least you can see the candy canes anyway. Also, we've been enjoying our lovely crop of pecans! We had so many this year, and they were really good! When my family was here in October, Daddy sat out in the yard, cracking and eating as many pecans as he could stand. We let anyone who could come and pick them up and take as many as they wanted. I cannot tell you how many we had (neighbors AND pecans!)! Please note the pic of Noodle feeding some pecan to Banana - awwww!!!! And can you tell that those are pecans that Noodle is holding up to show all the world? I hope ya'll are having as lovely an Advent season as we are!!!! Don't worry, we'll be shivering in Arkansas soon enough, so, don't hate us because we're warm! We love you all so much!

I like her anyway!

Noodle was telling me about one her favorite shows, Go, Diego! She said that there was a frog and a shark.
"I like that frog," she said.
"I like that shark," she said.
"I like that mermaid, too," she said, though I'm not sure where the mermaid came from.
I said, "You know what I like?"
"What?" she asked.
"I like Noodle!" I told her.
She looked perplexed and said with surprise, "Me?! But Noodle not a mermaid!"
Oh, well. Even so, I like her anyway!

My Favorites

My friend Akat posted her favorite ornaments, so here are a few of mine. Please notice the Razorbacks ornament above. Below is my favorite sparkly snowman-in-stocking ornament. I collect snowmen.
Below is a new ornament my friend just gave me! A fun fun VW bug ornament!!!! Isn't that the coolest thing you've ever seen? I also collect VW's (not the real thing, the die-cast variety), but who's ever seen one fashioned into a festive holiday ornament???? My friend LC did, and she got it for me, post haste! THANK YOU!!! I love it!!!!


OK, so Banana is not an ornament, but he likes to play with the ornaments. And he's cute.

Say What?

I was watching TV the other night and a commercial came on that made me do a double take. I literally exclaimed out loud, "Say what?!"

It was for a new Showtime television series, "Sleeper Cell."

The commercial showed a building being blown up by two guys sitting in a car and pushing a detonator button. The scene prior to the explosion showed pedestrians going along the street, doing normal things on a normal day. The voice-over then said, "Where will you be during the next terrorism attack?"

"WHAT???!!!"

Now I think everyone knows how I feel about censorship, but I get a feeling in my gut that this show goes way beyond censorship. I don't have Showtime, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't be watching this show. I don't feel that this is along the lines of the movies that recently came out, World Trade Center or United 93, which I think tried to be respectful depitcions of the heroes of that day. This TV show is something altogether different.

I wondered when I saw it, are we now going to glorify terrorism? Turn it into entertainment? Hang on the edge of our seats as we eat popcorn and suck on our sodapop as we wait for the next explosion?

Another message I heard in that commercial is that we sit around and wait for the next attack. We live in fear. So let's commercialize on it! Why not? Let Hollywood make another buck.

To be fair, I have never seen the show. I haven't read anything about it. Maybe someone can enlighten me. Maybe it's about raising awareness and looking for warning signs. Who knows? But the advertisement for the show was enough for me not to want to watch it.

And the bed is made again . . .

"This is what the Lord says: 'You say about this place, "It is a desolate waste, without men or animals." Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither men nor animals, there will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, and the voices of those who bring thank offerings to the house of the Lord, saying, "Give thanks to the Lord Almighty, for the Lord is good; his love endures forever." For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,' says the Lord."
Jeremiah 33:10-11

" for the Mighty One has done great things for me - holy is his name . . . He has filled the hungry with good things."
Luke 1: 49 & 53

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:10

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us the approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may recieve mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4: 14-16

" . . . to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:2-3

"Oh Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me . . . weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:2 & 5

A catchy praise song we sing at church from time to time, and something my heart has been singing more and more each day:
"God is good, all the time,
He put a song of praise in this heart of mine;
God is good, all the time,
In the darkest night, His light will shine;
God is good
God is good
All the time"

Thanks for all who checked on me and who accepted my previous, rather frank and blunt, post without judgment. I'm doing better. I'm now out of bed for good; I've tucked the sheets in tight and I pulled the covers up over the pillows.

We've been busy. It is holiday hours at work now - we close at 10pm, which means I sometimes don't get home until almost 11pm, which really throws off my bedtime! We've had lots of shoplifting activity, which can be scary. Last week one of our (legitimately shopping) customers was threatened by a shoplifter. She had to be walked to her car by a security guard. Last night there was a shoplifting team in the store, and it didn't take long to figure them out. The thing a shoplifter hates most is to be waited on, so we asked them many times if we could help them with anything. They left in haste.

We have our Christmas decorations up. Last year we had a tiny tree that we put on top of the entertainment center to reduce temptation for Noodle's sake. This year I said, to heck with it, I want the big tree up! So we have lots of decorations up top and not many on the bottom. The ones on the bottom are non-breakable and Noodle and Banana have enjoyed decorating and redecorating the bottom of the tree. Chicken Nugget has her own little tree in her bedroom. She feels so big about that.

BW brought me roses and candy last week.

These things made me laugh today:

It was lunchtime. I said, "Noodle, it's time for lunch."
Knowing what comes after lunchtime, she said, "I don't want to go night-night."
Ignoring that statement, I asked, "What do you want for lunch?"
Noodle said, "Um, cookies."

I was taking my bath today (I have conceded to the fact that if I want to bathe anymore, it will be with a one-year-old and a two-year-old looking on) and as I got the shampoo ready for my hair, Banana pantomimed what I did. He rubbed his hands together and then rubbed his hands all in his hair. It was so cute, though you'd have to see it for yourself, and I was happy for the laughter that it brought me. He smiled as I laughed out loud at him.

I'm finding myself wanting to talk to all my loved ones as Christmas Day draws near. I got to talk to two of my favorite missionaries today (OK, you're all my favorite missionaries!). I was so happy and blessed to talk to D/S McNary. I also got to talk to a dear and special friend in Iowa, KS. I wish I could talk to all of you!
" . . . I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy." 2 Timothy 1:4

Coming out from under the covers . . .

Another day, another depression.

Yep, that's what I said. Depression.

It's not a secret to anyone who might read this blog. At least, I've never tried to keep it a secret. While it may not come up in everyday conversation, it is a fact of my life with which I've dealt since the birth of my first child in 1999. The feelings that I felt after she was born terrified, confused, and overwhelmed me. Surrounded by friends who recognized what I could not, I was encouraged to get help. My wonderful OB prescribed meds and immediately sent me for counseling. I got through the PPD, but depression has hung on in cycles ever since that time.

I don't want to use this blog to bare all. There's no need to let all of my readers (all both of you) into every intimate part of my life. But I like to blog, and I like to blog about what is going on in my life, and I like to blog many times a week. My blog has had few posts over the past couple of weeks, and the depression is the reason for that.

One reason I wanted to go ahead and post this blog is that so many, many people deal with depression, and thankfully the stigma regarding mental health and drugs is slowly waning. In the wake of the Brooke Shields / Tom Cruise debate, I feel that many women are starting to speak up regarding their own PPD.

Depression raises many issues - what do you do with religion and depression, depression used as a defense (as in the Andrea Yates case), depression and medication? I read this article about a level playing field, and I liked that analogy so much. We all deserve that level field to play on. If you've ever dealt with depression, then you can understand how depression can create valleys and mountains in daily life, making things seemed skewed and difficult.

What would obviously look like success on a clear day, would look like total failure on a day filled with depression. On those days, even the simplest tasks are difficult. Wiping up a puddle of spilled milk will seem as overwhelming as single-handedly building a fully-functional rocket ship, ready for lift-off in ten minutes. The things I love become something unthinkable - like being around people. I'd rather bury myself in my bed than do the thing I love more than anything, which is be around people. I want to isolate myself from my precious family and from dear friends.

I remember after Chicken Nugget was born, how all of these feelings came upon me, and I felt like I couldn't tell anyone about them. I didn't understand what was happening to me, and it was scary. I'd never felt the grip of depression before that. I would stand in the shower and cry, never wanting the shower to end, never wanting to face anyone or anything in life ever again. I could only articulate it this way: I felt as though I was drowning. My mother said that my grandmother used the same phrase when she went through PPD so many years ago.

Now I've cycled through it many, many times in these last seven years. I've had about three episodes (or whatever you want to call them) recently that have pretty bad. Thankfully, I have faithful friends and a dedicated spouse to walk beside me and encourage me to get the help I need. Thankfully, I can recognize what is happenening now and reach out for what I need.

While I wait for things to clear up again, I want so desperately to claw out of the pit of hopelessness, fear, and anger. I want to be happy to see the sun shining. I ask people to pray for me. I ask the Holy Spirit to pray for me, with those groans that words cannot express. I try to remember that my High Priest understands all that I'm going through, and that I can approach His throne of grace with confidence and ask anything I need to.

And when I'm out of that pit, I'm thankful for those who have helped me though, helped me understand that I didn't cause this and can't help it, and pray for those who feel they have to suffer through it alone. I pray for more understanding and more help, more research and articles, more encouragement for those people like me, who suffer from depression.

A New Spin

Previously Posted Picture,
New Caption:

"Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!"

Thanks, Marita, for giving me that laugh today and reminding me of what this looks like!

May you ALL have a great Christmas Story or two to tell this season!