Kindergartners

I subbed in a kindergarten class today. Here are a couple of funnies:

This week, the class is learning about dinosaurs. So I read them a couple of books on dinosaurs. After I read the non-fiction dinosaur book, I was amazed by the children's stories of how they had been finding dinosaur bones in their very backyards! It was a real little class of archeologists. Most amazing was the story told by little A, who said that he'd not only found one or two dinosaur bones, but a whole set! After he dug up all the bones, he put them all back together to look like, as he said, "the real dinosaur!"
I thought for a moment, and then asked him, ever so sweetly, "Hm . . . I wonder if I asked your mom and dad about you putting that dinosaur back together, if they would tell me if that was true or not."
He promptly shook his head, never missed a beat, and said, "Nope! Big, fat lie."
Then many of the other dinosaur-bone-finders said they thought theirs had really been chicken bones.

While I was reading the non-fiction dinosaur book called My Dinosaur, we got to a part where the girl and her dinosaur get a drink from the river. Sweet little C said, "I don't think that's real because I don't think a girl would drink from water like that because it probably has a lot of germs in it."
Most of the boys agreed. I guess boys don't mind germy water.

This morning, Noodle told me:
"You look beautiful!"

Banana then told me:
"You look clean!"

Finished!!!!!!!!!!!

I have completed all of my units for Region IV!

I still have a few hours of classroom observations to do, and of course the test, but as for homework and assignments, I am FINISHED!!!!!!!!

I Am A Substitute Teacher.

I am a substitute teacher. This is me:



I've even had a book written about me:

I like being a substitute. Most of the time. When I first started, I had some shocking experiences. Such as, asking the students to please do their work, and the students cussing me out. Now, I didn't think it was anything unreasonable or even unfair to say, "Please do this work that your teacher left for you."

Obviously, however, the students found it both unreasonable and unfair.

It took me a couple of weeks to realize that students have, as I assessed it, two personalities for the classroom. One is their "regular teacher" personality. The other is their "substitute teacher" personality.

It also took me a couple of weeks to realize that it was alright for me to address their "substitute teacher personality."

I have a small speech that I give at the beginning of each class. I give the speech for grades 6 and above, and it has to do with respecting me even though I am not their regular teacher, not arguing or talking back, and it ends with me telling them that I will invite them to the principal's office if they cannot follow the rules. I feel kind of mean, but when I think about some of the things I have been up against as a sub, the speech seems like a good idea. And for the most part it works. At least, the kids know I mean business and will not tolerate certain behaviors.

I have had some great experiences subbing. I like it when I have time to interact with the kids, and we have a good time laughing and talking. Teenagers are witty. I really, really like teenagers, and I have missed working with them since my youth minister days.

And the kids that are disprespectful, I try to remember that I have no idea where those kids are coming from. For instance, at one school, I had a class that was really bad. It was really, really bad. Kids walking out of class, talking back to me, doing whatever they wanted. It was like I was invisible. There was only so much I could do, so after awhile I just walked around the room doing the best I could to get them to work. I noticed one conversation going on in which the students were discussing various murders within their families. It was like, my uncle was killed by so-and-so, and my cousin killed so-and-so, and they were talking about it like they might have been discussing the weather. So I don't know what these kids bring into class, and I'm not their teacher, so I don't know them like a regular teacher would.

But, I hope to be that regular teacher soon! I am in my last week of Region IV training!!!! MY LAST WEEK!!!!! I get to look for a job soon. I have really enjoyed my training. I've done well in the classes, and I think I might be really ready to do this teacher thing!

So, from the Teacher from the Black Lagoon, I hope you all have a wonderful day! But not too wonderful. Or else I'll have to take you back to the Black Lagoon with me. Mwahh-haa-haa-haa!

The Advantages of Having a Dirty House:

OK, there really aren't any. Which is why I have to clean my house today. Really. I'm not kidding this time. Thankfully, we have a three-day weekend, so I should have plenty of time to do it if I happen to not finish cleaning it today.

In the meantime, not cleaning house has given Chicken Nugget some time to catch up on her new favorite past-time, Webkins:

And it has given me time to catch up on some much-needed beauty treatments:

And look how happy Noodle and Banana have been in the meantime:

This is because they weren't at our dirty house. These were taken at the babysitter's house. When they came home, they cried.

What We Need

Before the baby comes, even though this is our fourth, we will be needing a few items. For instance, a basinette. The one we had was a yard-sale find and served us well through Noodle and Banana's first few weeks, but then it fell apart in storage (as we discovered while getting ready for our last yard sale).

We'll also need a new changing table and a dresser, as well as a car seat. Our previous car seat was also a hand-me-down, and it expired (those things actually do have expiration dates, as per safety codes and etc.)

So although they are semi-big-ticket items, at least that's really all that we'll need.

However, the rest of the family has some needs as well:

Noodle needs more sleep before the baby comes. She's working on it right now.

Banana needs - um, actually, Banana's good for now.

Chicken Nugget stated her need to me last night: She said very politely that if she were to get a football helmet before the big arrival, she felt she'd be all ready for the new baby.

The Ultrasound

When we went to the Dr. on Thursday, we of course had our ultrasound! Normally we chose not to find out the gender of our babies, but this time we wanted to know.

Dr. F said, "Do you want a boy or a girl or does it matter?"

I said, "Well, I'd like a boy, but if it's not a boy, we'll be fine!"

Dr. F said, "If I tell you that it's not a boy, are you going to get upset and cry and stuff?"

I looked at Buffalo Wings and we both made questioning faces and said, "No. We'll be fine!"

Dr. F said, "Because a lot of people who come in here want one thing and I tell them it's another thing and they get very upset and cry."

BW and I looked at each other again and shook our heads.

I said, "We're just so happy to be able to have babies, we really don't care. I'd like to have a little brother for our little boy, but if it is not a boy, it's still going to be OK! Besides, I'm sure it's a girl. I've been feeling so puky, I'm just sure it's a girl. If you tell me it's a boy, I'll be so surprised I won't know what to do."

By this time, Dr. F had the goo on my belly and we were looking at the baby.

"Well," she said, "You got a boy!"

I was freaking out, more from shock than anything else. I could not believe that a boy in my belly had made me feel so puky all this time! With Banana, I never felt that bad. With the girls, I threw up daily for many weeks. So I was in total shock that I could carry a boy baby and be as ill as I'd been. I kept asking her to check again and again and make sure that it wasn't the umbilical cord that was in the way, but it wasn't. The umbilical cord was way out of the way of that area, because we saw it a couple of times too.

I am still in shock that there is a boy in there! Though I'm feeling much better so far this week, I'm not getting my hopes up that the worst is over. I had a not-so-good moment at the end of the day yesterday, but it was only a small moment. But still . . . so when this kid comes out and I see all of the kid's parts, then I'll be a true believer! But Dr. F was sure and I saw what I saw . . . but still!

Anyway, the rest of the ultrasound was great. We saw the two parts of the bran, the four chambers of the heart, the lungs and kidneys. Dr. F said that looks like a beautiful baby in there! Imagine how beautiful he's gonna look when he's out here! I can't wait.

More Tasty Names Family Kid-isms

Noodle had just gotten herself dressed.
She came and aske me, "How do I look?"
I said, "You look lovely!"
Banana asked if he looked lovely, too.
I said, "Oh, yes, you look lovely too!"
Noodle said, "No, he's a boy! Boys don't look lovely!"
I said, "Banana, you look handsome!"
Noodle said, "Yeah, Banana, you look stinkin' handsome!"

I was getting Banana dressed Friday morning and I asked him if he wanted a little brother.
He said, "No, I want cereal."