Getting Just a Little Tired of This . . .

I went back to the doctor today for spotting, contractions, pressure, and pain.

My cervix has not changed, but the baby has moved. He's no longer breech . . . he's transverse! Well, it's a little bit of progress, but his position seems to be what is causing the increase in symptoms. He's moving like crazy, and this includes kicks, punches, and somersaults. The movement and position of the baby is putting pressure on certain . . . *ahem* . . . key areas of my body, which is increasing the intensity of my contractions, as well as causing pain in between.

I'm so confused! I've never been one to go into labor on my own. The closest I came was with Noodle; I went to the hospital with mild contractions, had my water broken, and got to 4cm on my own . . . that was after about 6 or 8 hours or so. Then, it was the pitocin. Always the pitocin. So any pain, bleeding, or other symptoms I've had when it's come to having my babies has taken place in the hospital. In light of that, it's been hard to discern what symptoms do or do not require a call to the doctor. But especially because all of the symptoms with this pregnancy are happening pre-term.

I want Baby Boy to be ok, and I'm so worried about him being in the NICU if he is born now. Though I've been assured that he'll be fine, all I can think about is delivering a premature baby. My babies have always been big and healthy, with no problems. They come home from the hospital the same time I do. This may not happen this time.

I really do try not to worry. I try to take all my symptoms and trips to the doctor and uncertainty with a good attitude. But I have my days and my moments when it becomes overwhelming. I know that God really is in control, and I know how many, many prayers are going up on our behalf. But I'm human, and my humanity sometimes wins out.

Thanks for reading and for praying. Please keep praying! God is bigger than this.
Much love to all of you -

New Pictures

I thought it ws high time for some NEW pictures!!!! So, since the doctor said that I could go to church this morning (ONLY to church - and ONLY if I promised to just sit there, and go home and go straight back to bed), I thought this morning before church and all dressed up would be a good time for some photo ops.

Banana's pic - not so into looking at the camera.Chicken Nugget's pic - I cannot believe how much of a little lady she is growing into. She is really growing up.

Noodle's pic - she loves to cheese it up!!!!

Dad and the kids - what a nice-looking crew!

My pregnantness. I hadn't taken any belly pics yet, so I thought I'd have Buffalo Wings take one of me. Don't blame him for cutting off my head. Blame our crappy camera. Oh, there is a pic of me and all the kids, but again . . . my head was cut off. Pretty severely. This pic was just for my belly, so I thought it would be ok.

Disappointed

At my doctor's appointment yesterday, Dr. F did my 34 week ultrasound. Guess what? Baby's breech. Dr. F and I were both a little upset. She said, "Mrs. Donut! You were supposed to be my ONE non-C-section!"

There is a possibility, however small, that he could flip. He's not engaged in the birth canal yet, so he's got some flipping room. I'm praying!

I have to admit, I am afraid of having a C-section. I know many, many people who have gone through it and they are fine. I've just never had surgery. I know, however, it could be much worse.

As for the bed rest, I thought I'd be off the hook after tomorrow. But Dr. F said I have to stay on bed rest till the end of the month. She did give me permission to go to church on Sunday! I'm so happy about that. I've been missing it and seeing everyone.

I also got a call from the school with the results of my job interview. They went with another candidate. However, there's a good possibility that another teacher may be leaving. If so, the principal wanted to know if I'd still be interested. I of course said yes. But I'll still be sending out resumes in the meantime.

So, I'm a little disappointed about these things, but am still trying to stay positive and look at the bright side of things. Please say a little prayer for us at this time. This too shall pass . . .

Gimme an N!

Saturday was Noodle's birthday! As usual, I'm a loser and didn't take any new pictures. Also adding to my loserness is the fact that it is now five days past her birthday and I'm just NOW posting about it!

Noodle woke up Saturday morning, saying, "Is it my birthday?" Chicken Nugget was adding to Noodle's excitement, having a greater understanding of birthdays and all. So Noodle was getting very, very excited!

Noodle was happy with her gifts - a Tinkerbell costume, new church dress, pink tights, and $4 from Grandma and Pappa; a pig Webkinz from Chicken Nugget; a Dora bigwheel from Buffalo Wings and me. She could hardly wait for Daddy to get that big wheel put together! She was out in the driveway with it before 9AM!

We didn't really get to do a birthday party for her, but it worked out ok. We knew a little girl who was having a birthday party that day, so BW took all three kids. It was great, because it was at the park and everything. The kids had cake and hot dogs, there was a pinata, and they all came home with sombreros and pinata prizes. They were also exhausted and took some good naps!

BW made Noodle a great birthday cake while she was napping. It was the cutest thing to watch her as the family sang "Happy Birthday" to her. She grinned and looked at the floor. She was so happy that all attention was on her, and she was so, so cute about it. I just wanted to squeeze her and kiss her with all her cuteness! She loved blowing out her candles and making a wish. She also loved eating the cake!

I just don't know what our family would be like without Noodle. Finding out about her pending arrival was a very big surprise very early in our marriage! But we were thrilled. Chicken Nugget had prayed for a baby sister from the day that BW and I got married. Noodle was such a good baby, just content and happy to be in the world. She loved to lay under her baby gym and talk and squeal. Noodle is now a busy and happy and bubbly little girl! She loves to laugh and to make other people laugh. Last night she was entertaining all of us with a frog puppet she had made. She took Mr. Frog to each family member and addressed them in a deep voice, "Hello, Mr. Mamma! Hello, Mr. Daddy! Hello, Mr. Banana! Hello, Mr. Chicken Nugget! I am Mr. Frog!" It was so cute and we laughed and laughed. Noodle is always entertaining us, but getting hugs and kisses from Noodle is a very, very special thing. She doesn't dole them out very freely. You know you've done something to make Noodle feel very special if she gives you some of her very special hugs and kisses.

Noodle, we love you so much!!!!! We're so glad that you are part of our family. You are a great gift from God and we don't know what we'd do without you. We're so happy that you had a wonderful fourth birthday!

That Test . . .

Remember that test I wrote about in a previous post? The one that took five hours? I must say, I fretted and fretted over that test. I was really, really worried. But . . .

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!

Woo-hoo!!!! I just found out!

Also, about the job interview last week - I felt really good about it. I think it went great.

What's in a Name?

Buffalo Wings told me that I could go ahead and share the name that we have FINALLY chosen for Baby Boy!!!!!!!!

Here it is:

Charles Edward

Charles - meaning: Free Man; origin: German
Edward - meaning: Wealthy Guardian; origin: English

Charles is a name I had picked out long ago for Chicken Nugget, if she had been a boy. Edward is BW's middle name and was his father's name. We thought they sounded good together! We'll call him Charlie.

Home, Again . . .

I had another hospital stay last night, though it was only for an hour or so. I was contracting like crazy yesterday and had to monitor about four times. The last time I monitored, my nurse called me and told me to go straight to the hospital. I was checked at the hospital and there had been no changes (I have not dilated past a one, thankfully!), so Dr. F let me go home. I have to go to the doctor again today. The contractions have slowed WAAAAYYYY down, and I know it is because we had so many people praying for us last night. Our Sunday school class is a great little network, and word got around really fast that I was headed to the hospital again.

Now, I'll tell you where I'm going again right now . . . back to bed to try to catch up some sleep I missed due to all those contractions . . .

Home . . .

. . . from the hospital, that is! That was my best Mother's Day present. That I got to come home from the hospital!

On Friday afternoon, somewhere around 2-2:30, I started noticing that pressure way down in my lower back (and other areas, *ahem*). It was that pressure that concerned my doctor at my last appointment, the pressure that she told me not to sit around at home and feel. Instead, I should get myself to the hospital if I feel it.

I called Dr. F and she told me to get to the hospital ASAP, so as soon as Buffalo Wings got home, I went. The nurse checked me and I was dilated to a one. I hadn't been dilated before this. The pressure was getting stronger, with a little pain. Dr. F wanted me to spend the night, and she gave me lovely cocktail which included Demerol. That helped me rest and relax and slowed the contractions.

Saturday morning, Dr. F came in to see us (some great friends from church kept the kids overnight so that BW could be with me) and said she wanted me to stay the day and get some steroid shots to help develop the baby's lungs. I was disappointed, because I had really counted on being able to go home that morning. But I knew it was the best thing for the baby to hang out a little while longer, especially since my contractions had picked up again and I'd gotten another Demerol cocktail at about 4AM Saturday morning.

I was on the monitor off and on during my stay, having some mild contractions and some minor irritability of the uterus (which basically means really short contractions). Dr. F came in Sunday morning and said I could go home, but that I am now on strict bed rest. I can get up to go to the bathroom and to eat, but that's it. She said if I can make it to 34 weeks, she will let me deliver. I'm still worried about delivering at 34 weeks; I hope to make it to 36 weeks.

I'm still contracting, still with a little pain, but am really trying to hang in there. Friends are taking the little kids during the day for the next two weeks, so that I really can do bed rest. Bed rest plus a three-year-old and a two-year-old at home equals no bed rest at all. So this is really helping us out. I can't say enough about how our church family has really taken over for us.

So, I'm home and hope to stay here for awhile.

Small Update

I went to the doctor yesterday. Things are status quo. As long as I rest, rest, rest, I have lots fewer contractions. My monitoring sessions have been good. I wake up every morning saying, "Yay! I'm still pregnant!"

I was feeling lots of pressure this weekend, mainly in the middle of the night, and was in some pain. My doctor told me that if I feel those symptoms again, that I should go straight to the hospital. My home health nurse increased my terbutaline after I called her and told her I was feeling; the increase seems to have helped.

I have my job interview TODAY!!!!!!! I'm excited and nervous. I'll let you know how it goes.

More Baby Stuff

I had a dr.'s appointment yesterday. I have still not dilated - YAY!!! But the contractions are getting more frequent and more painful. They are accompanied by lots of pressure sometimes.

Dr. F said, "I want you to super rest this weekend!" She's going out of town and she doesn't want to come back with me in the hospital. She also said, "I mean, seriously, come on. What is up with you? I give you two drugs, I make you rest, what is going on? Work with me here!"

Dr. F is great!

I told her that I'm not an ornery person, and that I'm trying to work with her!

I asked her how Baby Boy would do if he were to be born within the next few weeks. She said he'd do well, since he is over two pounds by now. She said after 34 weeks, he'd do even better. He would have to be intibated and put in the NICU, but that he would do pretty well. That was comforting, but still, the thought of a preemie in the NICU . . . not something I want to think about.

My drugs: Terbutaline - relaxes the smooth muscles, makes me shaky, increases my heart rate; Procardia - relaxes the smooth muscles, makes me dizzy, decreases my blood pressure. Summary: I'm a doped-up mess, but the baby stays in the belly!

I've been doing a pretty good job at looking on the bright side. I could have given birth already to a very sick baby; I could be stuck in the hospital on an IV! There are so many things that could be going on, that aren't, from which I know God is protecting us. I know God's hand is on this situation. So many people are praying for us. In the end, He will be glorified when we are all able to say, "God has done this thing!"

Our church family has gone above and beyond caring for us. It is difficult to be parents of small children; it is even more difficult when one of the parents is unable to cook, clean, or otherwise get up off the couch! Poor Scott comes home from work and then does the work of two people in order to take care of the house and the kids. Our Sunday school class has brought food and helped with laundry and childcare. It's been amazing to see, and humbling. We are more than grateful.

I had a dream about Baby Boy last night. He was beautiful and healthy and content. Also, he didn't look like Buffalo Wings - he looked like ME!!!!

We're still having trouble picking a name for this kid! We were talking about it last night and still couldn't agree on anything! Actually, in my dream, we had him at home and were STILL trying to figure out a name for him! Isn't that sad?

Thanks for reading my blog and for praying. We love you all -