Yesterday . . .

I signed my salary agreement!

So I'm a real teacher now!

Sunday Afternoon Nap

Here you go, Melanie!

As I was talking to my sis-in-law Mel on the phone, I turned the corner to walk into the kitchen and found Banana conked out on the floor. I guess I'm a bad mom, because I don't remember when I stopped hearing him playing, or how he ended up in the dining room.

Just Chillin' in my Crib

2AM

I went to bed at 8PM, completely exhausted. I woke up with the baby at 1AM and took some Excedrin for a headache. Now I can't go back to sleep.

I was just reading The Second Summer of the Sisterhood in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series. I'm halfway through the book and just discovered that each girl (except Bridget, whose Mother is not living) is in a fight with her mother. The theme of this book seems to be mother-daughter relationships. I've heard that a woman's realtionship with her mother is the most complicated one in her life. It's a good book so far.

I've been thinking about writing about my New Year's Resolutions. I have several, but I kind of don't want to share them out loud (so to speak). There are several changes that I want to make, but I don't know if I'm brave enough or consistent enough to follow through. What if I don't, then you all think that I'm a big failure?

I've been thinking about how different my life is now compared to before the Scott and the kids. I think about that a lot. There's not one place in this house that I can look that's not a reminder of my family. My bookmark is one that Eliza made me for Christmas. On the desk beside me is Eliza's report card and her reminder note for her academic after-school competetion. She's doing oral reading; a poem. In my pocket today, I carried a picture Molly had drawn of our family and insisted that I take with me today. Molly likes to draw things and tape them to the doors and walls. Right now, on our bedroom door is a picture of a not exactly round face with large, not-round eyes and a crooked smile. I can't remember if it's my face or Scott's. Sometimes Molly forgoes the paper altogether and just draws directly onto the wall or door. Aaron has taken to getting into bed with us these days and playing with my hair till he falls asleep. He needs to pick up his Thomas trains and his Lincoln Logs. I step on them when I'm changing Charlie's diaper. There's a trail of Charlie's spit-up-on clothing and blankets trailing through the house. There's a chubby finger wrapped around mine as I feed him in the middle of the night. I was really only joking when I asked Scott tonight if someone might take our kids, and then we could sleep at night. Sleepless nights are hard, but I really do like those kids a lot.

I like being a teacher. I have several students with tattoos. One of my students has a tattoo that reminds me of something I saw on TV about radiation patients getting tattoos so that they'll get the radiation in the right spot. I mentioned that to my student and said, "Does that tattoo mean something?" His gaze strayed to the spot on the knuckle of his thumb where the three dots were, looked at it briefly, and then said, "Yeah, Miss, it means something." He wouldn't tell me what it meant, but I didn't have to guess. Mostly the kids in gangs interact peacefully at school; I'm not worried. But I am hearsick for most of them, because I know that this is a replacement for family and real belonging. I have this quote from Helen Keller up on my wall: "I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something."
I hope that will be true.

As I've been on this journey with God these past 22 years, I've come to recognize His voice in my life and how it is that He speaks to me. I'm sure you understand. Sometimes it's a still, small voice, a gentle whisper that you recognize. Sometimes it's a voice so loud in your ear, it's like a bullhorn. I've been hearing the bullhorn lately.

Much love to all of you. I love to hear and read about all of your adventures. I just hope you're sleeping peacefully as I write about mine!

Stop Getting So Big!

Even though these pics are orangey-yellow (we STILL haven't picked out a new camera!), there's no denying that Baby Butterbean is so cute! And TOO big! Week before last, his first tooth came through. His second will probably pop out this week. You can see it beside the other one. Also, he rolled over for the first time on Wednesday.

I've been reluctant to accept the fact that Baby Butterbean, that little guy that came into the world at 5lb., 12oz., would grow up. I have tried to keep that from happening. Unfortunately, I haven't yet figured out the magic formula for keeping babies little. Baby Butterbean will be 7 months old tomorrow.

As soon as Noodle saw that I was taking pictures, she wanted to be in them. I said she had to comb her hair first. Well, as you can see, she got really dolled up here, donning barrettes and a lovely necklace. Noodle is getting too big, too. She'll be five in May!!! Does anyone out there know how to make this stop?????

Just More Stuff for You to Read

So, I think I'm almost finished tweaking my page now. I would like a more creative-looking header, but don't know how to achieve that. Any suggestions?

Christmas was good. We got to head up to Arkansas for some time with the fam. I didn't get to see CBB, which bummed me out. But next time, Court. Or my new fab-o BFF Rachel! CBB, please tell her she has now been immortalized on my blog.

But we did get some good time with my parents, brother, sis-in-law, and nephew, as well as with Elizabeth. The kids ate up some Grandma and Pappa time, and I ate up (way too much) some good home-baked sweets. We're talking tiger butter, fudge, hard candy (cinnamon), chocolate pie, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and magic bars. OK, so I don't go so much for the pecan pie or the magic bars (I don't care for anything with nuts or coconut), but let me tell you, few morsels were left when all was said and done.

The most interesting part of our visit: spending the night in my sis's-in-law haunted house. I wanted to do it, and let me tell you, it's creepy. It's also got no heat in it at the moment (they're doing quite a bit of remodeling to it), which made for a potentially chilly evening.

Let me back up on this one:
My sis-in-law has owned this house in Benton for awhile. It's big, and it's old. And haunted. Right now, she, Matt, and Trevor live in Matt's cozy little thing on Canturbury. But they eventually want to move into Lisa's place; thus, the remodeling. I'd taken a tour in it before, and loved the deliciously creepy feel of it. It's just fun to be in and pretend it's haunted. But then that stuff starts getting into your head and you get a little freaked out. So Lisa and I started talking about all of us piling in there for a sleepover while BW and I were up for Christmas. BW's allergies wouldn't allow him to stay in it, because all of the work has stirred up quite a bit of junk. But that didn't stop me from taking Noodle and Chicken Nugget over there, and we all piled up on some air mattresses and sleeping bags and plugged in a space heater and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and drank hot cocoa and ate cookies and popcorn and M&M's. Elizabeth was there, too, with her digital camera. So before settling in for the night, we took a tour of the house and took pics all around and got lots of orbs (which Matt said was dust floating in the air, but it was more fun to call them orbs). I only got freaked out once in the night, when the space heater went off and came back on all by itself . . . spooky . . . till I realized it had a thermometer on it.

Also fun to note, for those of you who have had any dealings with me and my bladder issues: we stayed in an upstairs room (the house has 14 rooms all told, including living rooms, etc.) and the working bathroom was not only downstairs, but downstairs and all the way on the other side of the house. Man, I held it for as long as I could before waking Elizabeth up in the night and having her walk me down there. I was too spooked to go all by myself!

So before we left for Christmas, I got a call from a principal from one of the schools to which I'd applied. He offered me a contracted position! I'll be starting Monday. It'll be teaching 9th grade English. I am still pinching myself! I don't even know if I'll really believe it till my name is down in ink on that contract. Oooooo . . . can this REALLY, finally be happening!

I think we had a great year. We did. We had a great year. And we have a good life. Beautiful kids, wonderful marriage, and a lot to be thankful for. I'm still just trying to make each day matter. I was thinking about Christmas gifts, but really, we got some great gifts even before Christmas. We added Baby Butterbean to our family, and he's been a joy and a treasure. All the kids are growing and are happy. BW and I are happy (and growing, but not up - hope to take care of that in the coming year). My mom, myself, and three of my children were spared from harm this summer. We also were able to be part of a beautiful wedding and to welcome my new sis-in-law to the family. Yeah . . . it's been a great year.

Much love to all of you.

Working on It

I'm trying to fix my blog and make it all pretty-like and fancy. So far, I don't like it. I've tried ScrapBlog before but can't navigate it. I'm not that clever. Now I'm using Cutest Blog on the Block, but I still seem to be having trouble. Ya'll may see something new and better soon, or you may just see regular old plain Blogger stuff again soon.

By the way, hope ya'll had a Merry Christmas and that you are having a Happy New Year!