My mom sent me a birthday card a few years ago that said: "You take each day and make it something special." I cherish that card and I keep it in my classroom. It is one of the greatest compliments I have ever received. And in the coming year, it's something that I plan to do a lot of: take ordinary days and make them something special.
I have to get a second job. There are no two ways around this.
Have you ever been to my house? If not, you should stop by. My house is tiny: 800 square feet, but it's full of charm and it's very cheerful. There's not a lot of room, but there's TONS of personality. I'm serious, I want you to come to my house! It's bright yellow with light blue shutters. Everyone, and I mean EVERYone who has ever entered my home has loved it. In fact, my entire family was down for Christmas last year. There were ten of us in that tiny little house during the day. We cooked, we played games, we laughed, my brother and dad did small repairs. I kept saying, "Don't ya'll want to GO somewhere," thinking everyone was feeling cramped, and they all said, "No, we are very happy right here!"
My house has second-hand furniture, hodge-podge picture frames containing lots of smiling family photos, unmatching EVERYTHING, and lots of good energy. There are toys everywhere, and a folding table with folding chairs that have to be put away after every meal in order to save space. Again, I say, please come visit. We can pull the chairs out for you.
I landed in that house last year when I got divorced. The kids and I made it ours.
And I am truly a minimalist. I have Internet only on my phone, no pc, no tv channels. We watch movies or read books or make crafts. We go trail-walking or swimming or to the library. But we love our little house when we come back from our adventures. You should stop over and see why :)
As much as I love that little house and all that it represents (my independence, my strength, my freedom, my individuality, overcoming my fears), the time is coming to say good-bye to it. That time should happen within the year, I hope.
Five people in 800 square feet can become, shall we say, cozy. Especially for Eliza. God love her, she is ever patient and I know she really wants and needs her own space.
So . . . I am looking for a second job today, and I have made the decision to suspend my BJJ training for one year.
It was a difficult decision, but I can see things so clearly. I AM a champion. I know my dreams, and I will make them happen, and when the time is right, everything will happen just as it should. But first and foremost, I am a champion for my kids. I am their voice, I am their strength, I am their provider. They deserve the very best I can give them. They deserve a house that will be theirs, something they can come home to after they leave home for college and bring their children to visit. They deserve a house that we can paint and a yard where we can plant our own flowers and put a swingset. They can't have that on their own. It's up to me to give them that. We deserve a place where we can grow roots.
I WILL be a BJJ champion and a cagefighter. I am in a great place in my life. I feel very positive. I feel amazing, as a matter of fact. I have perspective. The BJJ community is always there for me. It's a great community, very encouraging and empowering. One year is the blink of an eye. I have come from so much darkness over this past year to a place of gratitude. I know that my dreams will come true. But my children come first. They deserve a financially secure future and a home of their own.
When I made this decision to suspend my training for 12 months in order to save and earn money, I thought about shoving my gym bag, belt, and gis in my closet, and then I thought, no way! BJJ and martial arts are a part of me now forever. I like having that stuff around. I'm not going to shove any of it, or my dreams, away, not ever!
Please send me some love, ya'll! I feel it already. And when we have a bigger house that doesn't need folding chairs, ALL of you can come visit, all at the same time!
