I won't lie - I have been dating pretty steadily since moving out in June. It has been fun. It has been an adventure. I feel like a teenager again in many ways, since I never dated that much in high school. Now I am going about it the way I think you are supposed to - meet several different kinds of people, go out on dates, weigh your options, walk away with no hard feelings if necessary. You're not going to be a match with everyone, and that's ok. I have met a lot of really nice guys, just not the right guy for me yet.
Dating is a little different for me, of course, at this point in my life. I'm older. I have four kids. I have a full-time job and a sport / hobby that I am passionate about. I have a lot of things going for me and I'm busy. But I make sure to put all that out there. I am never dishonest with anyone that I date, and on the whole, if they really want to date me, they are understanding. I date single parents, too. It just has seemed to work out that way, and it's a good thing.
But I have also had many adventures on this journey of dating, and some advice to offer ladies who may be in the same boat. However, any lady with a good head on her shoulders is just going to get the good laugh intended from this blog post and move on. If she doesn't, she probably not only needs to call me, but she may need counseling and medication as well.
Now, I am able to get along with just about anyone for an hour or so. Dating, although exhausting, has been interesting and amusing at times. Go out to dinner, chit chat with a new person, and then move on with your life. But the following are dates that, while amusing, never went past that first hour. Please pay attention to this PSA list of don't's in dating:
1. If he proposes marriage on the first dinner date over flautas and offers to take you to Mexico PRONTO, probably you should not have a second date.
2. If he tells you his papers are no good, please believe him.
3. If he tells you that he will be back in Mexico soon, but his heart will be here with you, just say something like, "aw, that's sweet," and go back in the house.
4. If you show up to dinner and he says he can't pay for it, take whatever you feel is the most polite course of action and then go catch a movie with a girlfriend or something. Likely, he won't pay for dinner next time either, so there really shouldn't be a next time.
5. If he asks for gas money to get home, tell him to call AAA. (I have four kids, I don't need a fifth.)
6. If he doesn't understand when you say, "You can't come see me, my children are with me," it's time to hang up on him.
7. If he has ever been stabbed, shot, or done prison time, it's a good idea not to leave the restaurant with him. Also, take an alternate route to your house or just go to Wal-Mart in case he is following you.
8. It should go without saying, but if he doesn't have a car . . . just don't even go out with him.
9. If a first date is to the flea market, and you have to take your own car because his has been in the shop for five months . . . and he takes his daughter . . . on a FIRST date . . . yeah . . . that's the last date . . .
10. If he doesn't own: a car, full-size fridge, coffee mugs, have hot water in his house, a washer and dryer, or have a bank account, and he is over the age of 40, you may need to gently tell him that he is simply not ready to date. It's the kindest thing you can do for him. No one else is going to tell him, obviously.
11. If you go on a relatively pleasant date with a guy, but then he calls you two days later to tell you that he has been dealing with a DUI and won't be able to drive his car from now on for ten months but would still really like to see where this is going with you . . . um . . . no . . . 'Cause you know where it's going. Anywhere, I guess, as long as YOU are willing to drive. And ladies, I may be old-fashioned, but that is not what I call dating.
12. If he lives with his parents or (gulp) his spouse or girlfriend . . . he is really not yet available to date. Not if you're looking for something serious. There are girls who are willing to date guys like that, but come on, ladies. Those girls aren't you and me.
13. If he has no job and no prospects, all he wants is a sugar mamma. 'Nuff said.
All of the above stem from true experiences, and maybe later I will write some more about it. In short, I never lie about my situation: not about my kids, my job, or the times that I am available. I have a good job, a car, a great support system of friends and a healthy social life. It boggles the mind that I meet men who present themselves as dateable when clearly they are not. They don't have enough money or time, they don't have vehicles or life situations that will allow them to be dateable. They misrepresent themselves, and it is a time waster for qulaity ladies like me who would really like to find someone worth my while. Oh, well, it also makes for a great laugh after these dates that make me feel like I am seriously on some kind of hidden camera show!
