Yogurt is Yummy!

And the Oscar goes to . . .

Maybe I'm just becoming too cynical, but the Oscars don't excite me like they used to. I remember one year, I even took pictures of the TV screen as it showed certain movie stars and winners! I was crazy! But now, I think I see the value of awards and accolades in a different light. Not that it is bad to award someone for some great achievement, and not that I wasn't thrilled for Jennifer Hudson when I heard that she won (talk about a Cinderella story), but I just . . . think about it in a different way now.

BW and I talk about things like this, about how people that work very hard aren't often compensated in the same way as those who have seemingly easier jobs. Not that I know what goes into making a movie, and I hear it takes hours and hours and working late into the night, but . . . seeing as anyone I've ever heard interviewed can usually take as much time off as they want, rest, always go on a vacation . . . veiwing it from a worldly perspective, compared to how little BW gets for a lot of hard work . . . well, it just doesn't seem fair.

But as I said, the older I've gotten, the more life I've lived, the more I've started to view these things much differently. I understand more and more how gaining the applause of Heaven (so to speak) matters much more than gaining the applause of men. I used to get such a thrill when I was in plays in college, to go out and take my bows and hear all that clapping. Or to say a line and hear a great reaction from the audience. There's something thrilling about that. But there's something just as thrilling these days about having Noodle run into my arms, all grins, and say, "Mamma, you're my best friend."

Or to hear BW laugh out loud when I tell a good joke, or to feel special because he has gone out of his way to do somethin just for me, to let me know that in his world, I am the most important person on the planet.

Or to have Banana give me big, big sugars, all the while saying, "MMMM-mmmm-whah!" and then see him grin a big, big grin.

Or to have Chicken Nugget give me something that she made me at school, as she waits for me to smile and show how happy I am that I got it - that moment means the world to her, I know, because I mean the world to her. And no amount of audiences applauding for me or handing me an award can take the place of that.

What I'd like to do is have my own Oscars, or something like it, and give awards to those people who have really been there for me and have loved me. I'd have to give thousands of them. They'd go something like:

"And the award for the part of the best friend in a dramatic trauma goes to . . . "

"And the award for being a real friend when all others dropped away after I did something really stupid . . ."

"And the award for laughing with me till we were breathless and rolling on the floor . . ."

"And the award for the best husband and kids in the entire world . . . "

"And the award for those who prayed for me every single day . . . "

But those are the things that will never get awards. And they don't have to. They don't need to. It doesn't even matter about awards and applause.

Here's the award that I'm waiting for:

"Well done, thy good and faithful servant . . ."

Little Prarie Girl

When I was a little girl, my mom read me the entire Little House series of books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. This was all before the age of five, before I started kindergarten. I think because I so enjoyed those stories, is the reason my mom made this dress for me back then. I think I was about four or so when she made this dress (Noodle is really tall), and she gave it to me when we visited Benton over Christmas. I just now took it out to see how Noodle looks in it - bonnet and all. Isn't she cute cute cute???? Well, I thought so anyway.

What Noodle Prayed Before She Went to Bed . . .

"Dear God, thank you for my kitty and for Chicken Nugget's ballerina kitty and for my brother go to bed in his bed. Amen."

What a Good Day!!!!

I don't get out of the house too much during the day, because we only have one car these days. But on Friday, BW got a ride from a co-worker, and I got to take the little ones to the mall!
First things first, we rode the carousel.

Then we played at the great play area. Banana found the benches as entertaining as most of the play equipment . . .

And what trip to the mall would be complete without a cookie from The Great American Cookie Company? Yummy!

Later on Friday, we all went to IKEA!!!! We ate supper there, the kids played, and we picked out some bunk beds and a desk for the girls' room! FUN FUN FUN!!!!!!!!!!

These next pics were not taken on Friday, but they're too cute not to share . . .

Belated Birthday!

Yesterday was my mom's birthday! Sorry I'm a day late, Mamma!

My mom is a great lady . . .

For as long as I can remember, my mom always stayed at home to take care of the family and the house. I never thought there was much to that, until I became a stay-at-home mom myself. As a teenager, I never understood what it meant to have pride in your home and to work hard to make it an inviting place.

As a teenager, I had such a narrow view of how life was for my mom. I couldn't see that far back, and realize what it took to raise three kids from infants to adults. Now I know. Now I see and appreciate all the hard work my mom put in for the good of my family, and I wish I had been kinder and more helpful to her while I was growing up.

My mom has been through some difficult things, but never wavered in her faith. After having to endure the death of her oldest child, just weeks after that, I made a teary phone call to her. It was fresh after my divorce, and I called to say that I needed to come home. With tears in her own eyes, she said, "Come on." Chicken Nugget and I lived with my parents and my mom watched CN and my nephew, French Fry, until she got sick with a heart condition and had thyroid surgery. It broke her heart to stop keeping the little ones. Not long after she endured her illness, her mother died. Mamma handled all of these things with grace, though she knew things would never be the same.

In August of '01, all of my family drove CN and me out to California. I knew this was what God wanted for me. Iasked Mamma about it. She said, "I'm not thrilled to see you go, but you don't belong to me; you belong to God. You have to listen to Him over what I say."

So, though she was sad to be so far away from CN and me, she willingly let us go to be obedient to God.

I remember when CN was born, almost eight years ago now. She gave me great pregnancy advice for being a first-timer, easing my fears and worries and encouraging to go with what my body was telling me. She and dad stayed with me for a week before CN was born, because I was having contractions but no progression. Mom stayed by my side during tests and painful procedures, and helped me out a lot during those first difficult nights. After she and dad got all the way back to their house and settle in for a day or two, I had to call her to come back, because I was sick with double mastitis. I had such a high fever and was in so much pain that even lifting little CN was excruciating. Mamma had no trouble packing up once again and making the trip by herself to take care of me and CN until I was well enough to go it alone.

Mammas are just like that.

I guess it should go without saying, but my mom is a GREAT cook!!! Not just good. Great. Everything that she makes is delicious, and I usually have a menu planned for when we have visits, whether at my house or hers. And not that I can't cook, and even make some really good stuff, but for all my favorites, nobody, but nobody can make them like Mamma. She has also had requests far and wide for such things as her fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, not to mention her homemade Christmas candy and baked goodies. And because she's so nice, she'll even make our favorites, even if they are dishes that she herself doesn't care to eat at all (such as fried catfish!).

Look what a great grandma my Mamma is! She loves those grandbabies. Yes she does.

I called Mamma bright and early yesterday morning to wish her a happy birthday. I was a little sad at her report that she had to make her own birthday cake. I asked Daddy why he didn't bake her one, and he said, "It wouldn't have been fit to eat by anyone."

Well, there is that.

But she said that they were going out to eat in honor of her special day. I'm glad Daddy could do that for her, especially after all the nice things she does for us.

Happy birthday, a bit belated, Mamma!

Sweet Girl

Today, BW got home early enough to go over to the school and pick up Chicken Nugget (the little ones and I usually walk over). I heard CN crying even before she and her dad walked in the door.

"What's wrong?" I said.

"CN got two marks today," said BW.

Marks are the disciplinary system used at CN's school, and each mark has a letter that indicates what rule was broken.

I asked BW what he had said to CN about the situation, thinking she might be upset by something he said (CN cries if you look at her cross-eyed).

BW said, "I didn't say anything to her. All I said was, 'how was your day, CN?' and she immediately started crying and told me about her marks."

CN was sobbing as she put away her bag and jacket, and I called her over to me. Without a word, she dissolved into my arms. She told me about her marks.

"It's OK, you had a bad day, but you're home now," I said, "it's over now."

"OK," CN said, "I prayed to God to give me a good day and I tried to make it happen but it just didn't happen."

I felt so bad for her!

I said, "Well, sometimes we just don't follow the rules and make mistakes and have bad days, but it's over now. Tomorrow you can tell your teacher you're sorry you didn't follow the rules, but you're home now and everything's OK. You just need to pray to God that He will comfort you now."

She was still crying, but nodded. A little later, she kept coming down on herself.

BW said, "It's OK, CN. We all have bad days sometimes. But I think what we are going to do with you now is take you down to the barber shop and have your hair cut like that guy on TV."

On TV, there was a guy that had a mohawk. She made a face and giggled a little.

CN is by no means perfect. But it's hard to even punish her when things like this happen. She's so hard on herself, I think that's just about punishment enough. She was really in pain over what she had done. I think that BW and I could never be as hard on her as she is on herself, and I pray that she'll ease up on herself and learn not to take herself so seriously as the years go by. That sweet girl.

For Valentine's Day

Here are my tulips that BW sent me. I took their picture yesterday, straight out of the box. Now they are more awake. Aren't they lovely?

Valentine's Day is today, and I think this year it will be a good one.

Valentine's Day aside, I've been thinking a lot about this life journey that I've been on. Through the twists and turns, dark days and valleys, there are several people that I could always point to that loved me. Really, really loved me. Not just for what they'd get out of it (Lord knows I've not had that much to offer), but because they saw me as valuable and worthy of love. I'm thankful for that; there are so many who at many times in their lives have been loved by no one.

I was blessed yesterday to talk to three dear friends, friends that have spoken truth into my life many times. I needed truth spoken into my life, as I shared with my friend CW some discouragement and scary realizations that have come to me recently in my journey to intimacy with God. I was thankful for her frankness and love.

As I spoke to two dear friends (who are sisters), I thanked one of them for what she an her two sisters had done for me in the past, during some of my darkest days.
"What we did?" she asked in bewilderment.
I could have ticked them off by the hundreds, "what they did," but at the core of it, they loved me. They helped me when I was in need, did not judge me, and were friends to me. I remember them crying with me and rejoicing with me.

It has never been easy for me to accept love. When it comes to my relationship with God, I would much rather be able to earn His love, grace, and forgiveness. Knowing that it is impossible to do so leaves me feeling helpless, and I have to resign myself to the fact that God does operate like humans do, and that his love, grace, and forgiveness are perfect, supernatural, the real deal. With a human, I can write a thank-you note or bake some cookies; with God, there is no sacrifice great enough - just to give him my whole heart and life, which I often feel doesn't amount to much, and then I find myself back at square one.

The people who have loved me through my dark days and valleys, and rejoiced with me on my mountaintops, gave me unconitional love. There's no amound of thank-you notes or plates of cookies I could give that could ever repay them. Those people are human reflections of God's great love.

I have the great love of my husband. It is a love that goes beyond feeling to true commitment. It is a love that says, "I will love you even when I don't feel loving. I will love you even when you are acting less than lovable. No matter how hard things get, or what we go through, I will never leave you. Count on it." There is great comfort in that.

And I'm blessed, and I do not take it for granted.

And hard as it is to accept it without earning it, I know what is true - God's Word, the love of His people. And I love all of you so much. I say it a lot to you when I talk to you, and a lot in this blog, and I mean it every time. I'm much better at giving it than getting it. You all have my love, prayers, and service. I'm thankful to God for all of you.

May we soak in those true Words of God, may we bask in that love that has been lavished on us. We cannot get away from that love, no matter how hard we try . . .

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measre of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed His love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." 1 John 4: 7-11

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

" . . . for your love is ever before me,and I walk continually in your truth." Psalm 26:3

"O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption." Psalm 130: 7

Psalm 136 - His love endures forever!

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one that this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:12-13

"How precious to m e are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sumof them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand." Psalm 139:17-18 (read the whole Psalm to see God's great love for you.)

Please share any thoughts, songs, verses. You are greatly loved! We are greatly loved . . .

My Romantic Husband, Part II

Last night, we made our Valentine's Day cookies!

Their New Baby!!!!

All of you who take a gander at my blog should stop by and see my friends Boss and Coach and Sam, and my new friend that they just added, baby Grace! Well, those of you who are not of the H-clan, because all of you already know!

I am so happy for them and baby Grace is adorable!

I'm so thankful for my friend Boss. I met her when I was 15, on my first day of my sophomore year at Benton High. We walked to gym together that day and have been friends ever since. She has been dear to me and a great support to me over the years of our friendship. I'm so happy to still be a part of her life and to see her and her great hubby, Coach, welcome their second baby into their family. And she is a very cute baby indeed! So everyone go look at her and ooooohhhh and aaaaahhhhh like I have been doing! It would only be better if I could hold that little sweet bundle myself!

Much love to the Boss and Coach and Sam and Grace family, and congratulations to you and to the grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, and cousins!!!!!

My Romantic Husband

On Saturday, I went to Conroe to a scrapbooking worshop that Kelly was holding. As if I didn't have enough fun doing that, and being grateful that my sweet hubby stayed with the kids so that I could go, I got home to find a wonderful surprise! My darling Scott sent the kids to a babysitter for a few hours, cooked up a wonderful meal, dressed up in a suit and tie, and had the table set with the meal and some Valentine gifts all for me!
Here was the menu (he cooked this himself, and it was delicious):
*Red Snapper Delight (with artichoke hearts and mushrooms)
*Garlic Parmesan Asparagus
*Mashed Potatoes
*Rice
*Key Lime Cheesecake (ok, this he bought, but come on . . . )
Thank you to my one and only for this beautiful surprise! It was a perfect early Valentine's!

A Little Update

I had my root canal on Tuesday. It was (or is so far) a great success. I got a cleaning just before my root canal, and the hygenist didn't know that I had a huge gaping hole in my tooth and an infected, exposed nerve. So when water and instruments hit that nerve, tears involuntarily sprouted and I was so embarrassed. But she stopped and assured me that she was easy to get along with, and the cleaning went smoothly after that. The sweet hygenist even checked on me just before my root canal.

I got my preliminary shot and sat around for a few minutes, talking with the dental assistant about how scared I was to have this procedure, and then the dentist came in to begin. Seconds into it, I could feel pain as he drilled into the bad tooth and hit my nerve. The dentist was kind and apologetic and made haste to give me another shot, which did the trick, but I needed still another one toward the end of the root canal, as the dental assistant was poking and prodding around my tooth. Right now it is still sore and tender around the tooth, but that face-on-fire, agonizing pain is gone. I don't think I'll miss that nerve. Not one bit.

Noodle said something funny to me yesterday (nothing related to my tooth). We were just talking and she said, "And we were in there and I was screaming at Boo-Boo (what she calls Banana) and Daddy come in there and got me in trouble."
I said, "Why did he get you in trouble?"
Noodle answered, "I don't know."
I asked, "Do you think you should be nice to Boo-Boo?"
Noodle replied, "No, I was mean to Boo-Boo!"
I said, "Well, be nice to Boo-Boo."
She said, "OK."
It is true that Noodle yells at Banana a lot, and this makes Banana cry. Anyone reading ever have this problem with your children, or witnessed it with others? If so, any pointers? Or do we just wait out the screaming?

Banana just this morning learned to crawl onto the kitchen chairs and from there, onto the top of the kitchen table and stand up. We are so proud of him.

I hope all of your lives are just as exciting!

Mommy Musings . . .

I got home from work tonight and was unwinding, watching some TV. During a commercial, I turned my head to look at the pictures we keep on the shelf. There's one of Chicken Nugget, the Easter before BW and I got married. She had just turned four, had long hair, was wearing her pink and white Easter dress, had her chubby-cheeked face cocked to one side . . . and I thought how big she is now.
I looked around the house. Toys scattered everywhere. Laundry undone. Lots of work to be done in the morning . . . I stumbled into the living room to lower the blinds, and there were more toys. And I thought, one day our house won't be full of toys to stumble over. But instead of that being a hopeful thought, it made me sad.
I worry a lot about a lot of things that don't really matter. I worry about not keeping the house clean enough. No matter how hard I try, it's never clean enough. The laundry's never done and the toys are never all picked up and there's always a spot I missed while dusting or mopping. But at the end of my life . . . is it going to matter if I missed those spots?
When Banana's such a ready cuddler, happy to be nestled in my lap, should I really hasten to put him down again and begin all my cleaning? How much longer will he want to cuddle and give sugars and tell me what the dinosaur says? When will he stop sticking his feet out for me to do "this little piggy?" As fast as I have seen time go with my oldest child, I know that there's really not that much longer for me to enjoy those things.
I worry about dirt getting tracked through the house or paint getting smudged on the walls, when I should view these things as signs of life and joy and cheerfulness. When I should see Noodle's smiles instead of her messes . . . when I should be getting messy with her, instead of always picking up behind her. Right now it is her joy in life to share with me. It's foolish not to participate in that.
This day, after all, is fleeting.
I should laugh more, relax more. Not worry so much if Banana wants to sleep in the bed with us from time to time. Not try to be a textbook mom who flips if the schedule doesn't go just right . . . one day these people who are now my precious little ones will be in college, and they won't even remember sleeping in bed with us or getting two snacks before lunchtime.
I'll be the one with all the memories, of the toys on the floor and the mud in the house and the running in the rain and the toilet paper trails and the paint on the belly and the morning hair and the being crowded out of bed by snuggly toddlers who needed mom and dad in the night . . .

This day is fleeting, after all. In a few more months, the girl who used to be my first little baby will turn eight years old. What a fast eight years. So for this fleeting moment, I'll cherish and savor and revel in the fact that there are toys on the floor. This day's just about fled, anyhow. Might as well just let tomorrow worry about itself . . .

Pain, Pain, Go Away!

I got some wonderful drugs today - Hydrocodone and some Amoxicillin - please excuse my spelling. I have felt as though my face is on fire. If only the pain were limited to just the one tooth, but no, the pain radiates to the whole right side of my face and head. I feel like a baby because I should be able to handle this kind of pain. Heck, when I had Molly, I endured hard labor pains for about 12 hours before asking for an epidural (mind you, this was in Iowa. There was one guy in town who could administer an epidural, and they had to call and wake him up to get over to the hospital . . . ), so I feel like I can handle a lot. I think I can empathize somewhat with people who deal with chronic pain. Though my trial is light and temporary, I know that there are those who deal with excruciating pain on a daily basis. I keep saying that I did not realize that a toothache could make a person feel this lousy. But now I know . . . it can. And dentures are looking better all the time!