Disappointed

At my doctor's appointment yesterday, Dr. F did my 34 week ultrasound. Guess what? Baby's breech. Dr. F and I were both a little upset. She said, "Mrs. Donut! You were supposed to be my ONE non-C-section!"

There is a possibility, however small, that he could flip. He's not engaged in the birth canal yet, so he's got some flipping room. I'm praying!

I have to admit, I am afraid of having a C-section. I know many, many people who have gone through it and they are fine. I've just never had surgery. I know, however, it could be much worse.

As for the bed rest, I thought I'd be off the hook after tomorrow. But Dr. F said I have to stay on bed rest till the end of the month. She did give me permission to go to church on Sunday! I'm so happy about that. I've been missing it and seeing everyone.

I also got a call from the school with the results of my job interview. They went with another candidate. However, there's a good possibility that another teacher may be leaving. If so, the principal wanted to know if I'd still be interested. I of course said yes. But I'll still be sending out resumes in the meantime.

So, I'm a little disappointed about these things, but am still trying to stay positive and look at the bright side of things. Please say a little prayer for us at this time. This too shall pass . . .

That Test . . .

Remember that test I wrote about in a previous post? The one that took five hours? I must say, I fretted and fretted over that test. I was really, really worried. But . . .

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!

Woo-hoo!!!! I just found out!

Also, about the job interview last week - I felt really good about it. I think it went great.

Small Update

I went to the doctor yesterday. Things are status quo. As long as I rest, rest, rest, I have lots fewer contractions. My monitoring sessions have been good. I wake up every morning saying, "Yay! I'm still pregnant!"

I was feeling lots of pressure this weekend, mainly in the middle of the night, and was in some pain. My doctor told me that if I feel those symptoms again, that I should go straight to the hospital. My home health nurse increased my terbutaline after I called her and told her I was feeling; the increase seems to have helped.

I have my job interview TODAY!!!!!!! I'm excited and nervous. I'll let you know how it goes.

I GOT AN INTERVIEW!!!!!

I got a job interview!

It's for a ninth-grade English position!

The interview is next Thursday at 4:30! PLEASE PRAY!!!!!!!!!

Random Ramblings

Resumes and job fairs and tests, Oh My!

I went to a job fair on Saturday and there is another one on Friday night. I never realized how intimidating this would be. I came home from the job fair lamenting:

"Why would anyone hire me? I don't interview well. I've never been a teacher. There were so many people there trying to get the same jobs I was trying to get! I was just another face in that crowd, just another piece of paper with stuff written on it."

Of course, BW was supportive and encouraging. And I know the attack of the enemy when I hear it and feel it. So I am trusting in God. I will glorify in His name when I have a job, and I will say, "God has done this thing!" Please pray for me still; it is nerve-rattling.

((((I take my big content test for English on the 19th. Please pray!!!!))))


Speaking of the enemy, he really is everywhere. One day as I was walking through the halls at school, I think my eyes were really opened to that. The enemy is attacking the students so hard. I tried to pay close attention that day: how is Satan attacking these kids? How are they responding? To what issues are the blinded or apathetic? I learned a lot that day. I know better how to pray. I'm thankful for this mission field. I love these kids.


I think of my dad when I think about the mission field of the public school system. I have always said that my dad is one of the greatest missionaries I have ever known. He was never ashamed to speak the name of Jesus to anyone at school (or anywhere else for that matter). He was never afraid of conversations of spiritual matters, even if it may have gotten him in trouble. I want to be like my dad and speak boldly about the Hope that each and every student can have. That everyone can have.


Today, as I was walking up to school, I noticed about a million caterpillars on the sidewalk. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. Maybe it was more like 500,000. Anyway, I wondered what they were doing on the sidewalk. Sadly, some of them were already . . . smooshed. :o( Why did they crawl onto the sidewalk and into the parking lot? Why didn't they just stay in the safe, safe grass and trees? I guess I will never know.

I think we are centering on Asher as a name for the baby. Nothing definite. But it keeps coming up a lot.

I really am trying to keep my pregnancy complaints to a minimum, but . . . I'm about to let some fly. When I got pregnant with this baby, I just made up my mind to enjoy it. I know it will be my last pregnancy. I thought that might make me a little bit sad, so I wanted to savor every little change and kick. However, it has been hard to enjoy since I've felt so nauseated, couldn't eat much for a long time, had to be on Zofran, and am plagued with heartburn and *ahem* other certain digestive dysfunctions. Not to mention the sciatica, which still bothers me daily. I feel so tired and am about to start taking an iron supplement. By tired, I don't just mean tired - I mean exhausted beyond words. I usually come home from work and go to sleep. It's more than sleepiness, it is absolutely no energy at all. The iron should help. Anyway, this pregnancy has been the hardest of all four, and has solidified for me the knowledge that I do not ever want to put my body through this again. I even had a contraction this morning - a painful one. I'm trying not to worry about it, because it was only one, but I will talk to my doctor about it on Monday when I go for my appointment.

Baby boy is doing great, however! We got some really good pictures of him two weeks ago at our 26 week ultrasound. He looks wonderful, and he is a busy little boy in my belly. I can't wait to meet him in June or July!

I have not had any consistent cravings during this pregnancy. The nausea has been too bad. At first, I was nauseated before I ate. Now, I get nauseated after I eat (and sometimes before). It's not as bad as it was in the beginning of the pregnancy. Not even close. But I did have to take a Zofran or two this week.

Some cravings:
*A-1 Steak Sauce
*potato salad (I craved this hard with Banana! Weird)
*thin-crust Canadian bacon pizza from Pizza Hut (yes, it must be that specific and it must be from Pizza Hut. This is what I am craving right now.)
*Snickers bars
*Coke

Maybe BW can think of some others, but I can't. The cravings have been so weird and sporadic. One week I'll want something and then I will not ever want it again. Strange.

That's about it from our neck of the woods. Hope things are great with all of you! Much love to you all.

Because I Don't Want Them to Be Like Me

I wasn't a great student in high school. I wish I'd had a better grasp of how not applying myself and not being a better student would affect me later. I could have gotten better scholarships. I could have cultivated self-discipline. To an extent, I didn't care. Another part of it was that I thought I wasn't smart. I must have driven my teachers crazy.

I hear it all the time now:
"That kid is really smart, he could really understand, if only he would apply himself."

But how do you teach that? How do make a kid want to learn? How do you make it matter to the student that education is important? How do you make the student care that he has such an advantage in the world, by being offered a free education through the age of 18?

I don't know. I don't know if you can. No one could teach me. I had to learn it much later.

I went to college. Even had some small scholarships. And I had a dear professor who recognized something when he saw me: That I was capable, but didn't know how to study. After five minutes of talking to him, and about two or three tips, I got it. I knew how to make things stick in my mind. And I made the Dean's list and the President's list. Things I'd never accomplished in high school, though all that time I could have, yet it took me till then to start. Why? Sometimes I still don't know.

I'm sure there are kids at school that are a lot like me, who start out thinking they are stupid (mine was mainly because of math, and it started in the fourth grade), and then an attitude of, "Well, things will just work out." And then you have these great kids, who could be superb students, that have their teachers pulling their hair out.

I don't want my students to be like me. So many times when I could have studied, I didn't. Even though I didn't have (what I later learned) the best study skills, I could read and understand the English language. I had teachers who were always willing to help me. I had friends who did great in school, and parents who wanted me to do well. I could have graduated with a much higher GPA. And I'm sure I could unpack it all and get down to the psychology of it all, the whys and the whats and etc., but when it comes right down to it . . . it was all my fault that I didn't do better than I did.

And every time I think that I am about to become a teacher, I feel so disappointed in myself. And I feel a little bit like a hypocrite. Maybe a lot like one.

Once in seminary, during a very hard class, I was pulling a C. Granted, it was a strong C! But it was a C. I was looking over my grades and my friend was standing nearby. She could see that I was crestfallen and asked me what was the matter. I showed her. Trying to cheer me up, she said, "Hey, just remember, C stands for Commencement!"

But I just didn't feel that way. All those years after high school . . . thinking back on high school, I just laugh at the way I feel now! I certainly didn't feel that way in high school!

And I know that high school is about becoming who you are, discovering things about yourself, turmoil, angst, etc. etc. . . . and I wasn't a bad kid or anything . . . I just . . . could have done better. And I wish I had.

And what am I going to say to my students? How am I going to make it matter to them? How am I going to encourage them? What will I do? How will I invest in them? How will I make it real, articulate to them that it is important, what they do right now? How will I reach the ones that were like me, that could just do better?

I won't be able to help caring about it. I care about it now when I see the students and watch them, and I'm only a substitute.

I'm scared, I'm unsure, I'm hopeful, I'm not going to live like I did in high school. And I'm not going to let who I was in high school make me who I am now. I've learned from it. I hope I'll remember what I've learned. I hope I can make an impact.

Finished!!!!!!!!!!!

I have completed all of my units for Region IV!

I still have a few hours of classroom observations to do, and of course the test, but as for homework and assignments, I am FINISHED!!!!!!!!

I Am A Substitute Teacher.

I am a substitute teacher. This is me:



I've even had a book written about me:

I like being a substitute. Most of the time. When I first started, I had some shocking experiences. Such as, asking the students to please do their work, and the students cussing me out. Now, I didn't think it was anything unreasonable or even unfair to say, "Please do this work that your teacher left for you."

Obviously, however, the students found it both unreasonable and unfair.

It took me a couple of weeks to realize that students have, as I assessed it, two personalities for the classroom. One is their "regular teacher" personality. The other is their "substitute teacher" personality.

It also took me a couple of weeks to realize that it was alright for me to address their "substitute teacher personality."

I have a small speech that I give at the beginning of each class. I give the speech for grades 6 and above, and it has to do with respecting me even though I am not their regular teacher, not arguing or talking back, and it ends with me telling them that I will invite them to the principal's office if they cannot follow the rules. I feel kind of mean, but when I think about some of the things I have been up against as a sub, the speech seems like a good idea. And for the most part it works. At least, the kids know I mean business and will not tolerate certain behaviors.

I have had some great experiences subbing. I like it when I have time to interact with the kids, and we have a good time laughing and talking. Teenagers are witty. I really, really like teenagers, and I have missed working with them since my youth minister days.

And the kids that are disprespectful, I try to remember that I have no idea where those kids are coming from. For instance, at one school, I had a class that was really bad. It was really, really bad. Kids walking out of class, talking back to me, doing whatever they wanted. It was like I was invisible. There was only so much I could do, so after awhile I just walked around the room doing the best I could to get them to work. I noticed one conversation going on in which the students were discussing various murders within their families. It was like, my uncle was killed by so-and-so, and my cousin killed so-and-so, and they were talking about it like they might have been discussing the weather. So I don't know what these kids bring into class, and I'm not their teacher, so I don't know them like a regular teacher would.

But, I hope to be that regular teacher soon! I am in my last week of Region IV training!!!! MY LAST WEEK!!!!! I get to look for a job soon. I have really enjoyed my training. I've done well in the classes, and I think I might be really ready to do this teacher thing!

So, from the Teacher from the Black Lagoon, I hope you all have a wonderful day! But not too wonderful. Or else I'll have to take you back to the Black Lagoon with me. Mwahh-haa-haa-haa!

My first job!

I got the call at 5AM this morning - for my first substitute teaching job! I'll be in a first grade classroom today. Please pray for me! I'm nervous and excited. Gotta go get ready now!

Time for Another Tasty Names Family Update!

Lots of things have been going on . . .

Unfortunately, I did not get the special education aide position at Buffalo Wings' school, but I did get hired as a substitute teacher! It may actually work out better this way. Had I gotten the aide job, I would have had to leave probably just after the term started after Christmas, since I'll be looking for an internship (student teaching) at that time. Besides, by substituting, I'll be known in probably all of the schools in the district, which I hope will make it easier for me to get a job when the time comes.

I've pushed the start of my training back just a bit, to Nov. 1. I feel good about that. It had something to do with my sweet brother turning in some paperwork a bit late (he co-signed for my Region IV loan), but it's really OK. And I love him very much. :o) And I'm actually not upset about it. It will be nice to ease into work a little before having to pile studying on top of it.

Remember the fridge incident (go down a few posts to "Oy Vey!")? Well . . . now we have to get our shower replaced! Here's how it has all gone down:
I came in from work a few nights ago and smelled a smell.
I said, "What's that smell?"
BW said, "What smell?"
He hasn't been able to smell for about a week and a half now, due to sinus issues.
Upon further investigation over the next couple of days, I discovered that the smell was mold, coming from a damp wall and carpet, which was hidden by a rubbermaid container. The damp carpet and wall are adjacent to the shower in the master bathroom. We called our landlords, who send a plumber. The plumber said that the shower is leaking everywhere, not just into our bedroom, and the entire bottom part will have to be torn out and redone - drain, tile, and all. I feel awful for our poor landlords, who really have been such a blessing to us. They take great care of us and this house, and never hesitate at the slightest problem. So . . . I'm not looking forward to the grand mess that is about to take place here!

My parents are coming next week, to help celebrate Banana's second birthday! Where did these past two years go???? He's so big and sweet. I can hardly believe he was ever a tiny little baby. We'll be having a little party for him a week from Saturday. Wish you could all be here with us!

As per substitute teaching, I put in my two-weeks' notice at the store. My boss asked if I could stay on minimally, as well as if I could pick up some hours over the holidays and in the summer. She said I could essentially make my own schedule and keep my discount! For the time being, I'll be working every second Tuesday and every second Saturday.

Soccer is in full-swing. Chicken Nugget is playing strong, and BW is her coach. She's so cute! This is her third year to play, and she loves it. The other two kids love to go to the games and watch her, and Banana really tries to run out onto the field and join the game!

We got a cat. Well, actually, a cat wandered up to the house one day while Noodle, Banana, and I were out playing. He is still a kitten, but a bigger kitten, and he was really hungry. I fed him. And I kept feeding him. And the kids started to pet him. And we named him. So now he is our cat, and his name is Eddie, and even BW likes him (from a distance), even though he is allergic.

I stepped out into the garage the other night and standing there, pretty as you please, was quite a large possum. It's been many years since I've seen a possum that close up, and though it didn't scare me, it was not the sight I expected to see. The thing turned its head to look at me, and I could swear it smiled. Then it turned back to where it had been eating the cat's food, seemed to think for a moment, and moved its clumsy body to waddle under our van. I called BW out there to experience the possum with me.
"What do you do with a possum?" he asked," Will it attack me?"
"I don't think so," I said, "See if it is still under the van."
BW looked and sure enough, it was still there.
"It looked at me," he said.
I went over to a picture that I was painting, sat down, and didn't give another thought to the possum. BW stood there, a bit bewildered, checked under the van again, but the possum was gone. Eddie hopped up to help me paint. A peaceful night ensued.

I'll leave you with some funny quotes:

BW, upon coming home from school one day:
"I'm tired."
"Of what?" I asked.
"Lots of things," he answered, "but mostly of being awake."

Noodle, upon laying down for a nap:
"I love you. And I love Daddy. And I love Banana and Chicken Nugget. I love my family."
"Awww . . . we love you too." I said.
"Ewww . . . you stink."

Banana, upon pretending to be a dinosaur:
"Rooooaaaaarrrrr!!!!!!!!!"
Me: "Oh! I'm so scared!" (pretending to cry)
Banana, pauses and looks concerned: "Don't cry, Mamma. I'll keep you safe." (hug)

Chicken Nugget and Noodle go with me to the store to pick up my paycheck. I walk into the store, dancing as usual. My co-workers make fun of me, as usual, trying to tell me that I am not a good dancer.
"CN," I say, "Tell them I am a good dancer!"
CN, after pause, says, "Well . . . do I have to?"

Noodle, after climbing up into my lap and giving me a hug, says:
"I'm daddy's girl!"
"Oh!" I say, "You're not mommy's girl?"
"No. But I'm still your family."

In Search of the Perfect Donut . . .

Well, as you all know, I recently changed my name from Tari to Mrs. Donut, in order to inspire myself to get closer to my dream. You know, the dream of owning a donut shop. To be exact, the dream of owning a donut shop called Ten-to-Ten Donuts; that's a donut shop that will be an all night donut shop, open from ten at night till ten in the morning.

And while I made some donuts a couple of months ago, I am searching for that perfect donut recipe. Of course, the recipe itself will just be a base. A foundation. I'll tweak it and perfect it until it has that just-right Ten-to-Ten flavor.

I'm looking specifically for a recipe for the old-fashioned glazed cake-type donuts. I couldn't find a specific picture of one on the web, but I think it would most like the swirly-looking ones in the picture above. Down here, they look like two donuts in one, with kind-of like a ridge around the middle of it. So cakey. So glazy. So yummy good. My favorite, favorite ones down here come from Victoria's, and they are maple flavored. Out-of-control, people.

But . . . I'll create a donut that will be even better than that one. If only I can find my base recipe.

Do you guys happen to know a recipe for one of those cakey, glazey, swirly, old-fashioned donuts? Or do you know where I can find one? Sock it to me. You'll get royalties, I assure you. Oh, and all the free donuts you can handle, once I open my shop. That's a promise.

Love to all my donut-eatin' pals!

Something New

Things in the Tasty Names household are moving along quite nicely. We've begun another year of school, got a new car, even had satellite TV installed. Crazy, I know. Buffalo Wings is enjoying his year of teaching so far, I'm still working retail, and the kids still rule the roost. We're eagerly anticipating what this year may hold for us, and next year as well. We're excited about our mission trip in one year to the Czech Republic, and what God might teach us as we prepare for the trip and as we go. We're getting ready to let our church know about our trip and invite members to join us. It's going to be exciting!

AND - I FINALLY start my teacher training in October! Just before our vacation, I applied for the ATC program through Region IV. As soon as we returned from vacation, we learned that I'd been accepted! I was afraid that I might have to make up for some required English credits, but I was accepted without them. I've been holding back on blogging about all this, because at first it didn't seem real. Then, as it began to seem real, I have started to be scared, uneasy, unsure, and anxious about it. What if I don't do well in the training? What if I can't find an internship? What if the kids don't like me? What if I am flat-out not a good teacher?

Well, I guess I'll be finding out!

We found a great lady to keep the kids in her home, so I feel good about that. BW suggested that I apply to be a substitute teacher, so that I can get my foot in the door in the district. That way, when it comes time for me to apply for my internship, my name will already be known and it might be easier. I also applied for a job as an aide at the high school where BW works! It's for a class called Focus, a special ed class with only autistic students. I got a call yesterday to come in for an interview for the Focus job! I go on Monday - please say prayers for me. I'm really excited about this opportunity; it would be great to work with this class as I complete my training. Besides, it sounds like something I'd really love doing.

Our long term plan is this: to have enough income so that I can finish my thirty hours left to complete my masters' degree. As we talked, prayed, and planned for the future, BW and I decided that this would be a good path to take to accomplish that goal.

I'm amazed that my Creator God, who has the hairs of all of your heads numbered, also has the hairs of my head numbered. He is interested and involved in every aspect of my life. As the book of James says, "Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of Lights." I know that whatever happens, whatever success I gain on this earth, it will come directly from He who is my Father of Lights. At the end of all of this, I will return all glory to Him, and everyone will be able to say, "God has done this thing!"

Much love to all of you.

10-to-10 Donuts

I'm on my way, ya'll! Before you know it, there will be a 10-to-10 Donut Shop in your very own neighborhood! The above was my (our) first attempt at home-made donuts. These are cake donuts, not yeast. We made the dough last night, since it had to chill, and rolled it out, cut out the donuts, fried them up, and glazed them this morning. One thing I need to get is a real donut cutter instead of using just a cup. I also need to thicken the glaze by adding more powdered sugar (which will also improve the taste!). The girls had fun cutting the donuts, and even though some of them took on more of a blob shape than a donut one, they still tasted great! Especially after the girls added sprinkles. See photos below, which attest to yumminess of taste regardless of donut-like shape:

Lots to Talk About

Yesterday, we went here. It was so much fun. There's some great play areas for the kids, and I love being by the water. The trees are full of beautiful Spanish moss, too. I love that Spanish moss. There is sometimes something . . . I can't think of a word for it . . . but just something about living in Coastal Texas.

Chicken Nugget left for camp yesterday. :o(

It is happy for her, sad for me. I can't believe she is big enough to do things like that. This is not the first time she's been away for a period of time, but it is the first time she's been away with someone other than family. On Sunday night, she and Noodle asked to have a "slumber party" with me, which means that poor Dad gets to ride the couch while the girls pile in bed with me. We spent lots of time cuddling and saying how much we'll miss each other and how much we love each other and talking about what camp is going to be like, before finally drifting off to sleep.

Noodle has asked when we're going to get Chicken Nugget about 50 times already. I know it will be a fast week, but still. She's not a baby anymore, my little Chicken Nugget. She called last night and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I'm doing great and I'm having a great time at camp!"

Buffalo Wings started teaching summer school yesterday. It was registration, so he didn't do any teaching (he's teaching Geometry). Today is a work day and he'll get his room assignment. Tomorrow he'll have students. He's excited about teaching Geometry, since it is something he has not taught.

We're still working on getting me into Region IV. I sent in my application, but it turns out that I am six credits short on English requirements. So it looks like I'll be taking some English classes, mid-summer or maybe starting in the fall. It depends on when I find out what courses I need to take to qualify for the program.

Here's what I'm thinking at the moment:

1. Complete Region IV - become a teacher.

2. As I am teaching, finish seminary.

3. After seminary, pursue my goal of becoming a chiropractor.

BW said, "Wow. That's a lot."

But I'm not really on a strict schedule, so I have plenty of time to do all of these things.

In the meantime, I am looking at a job change. But I'll say some more about that later.

Life is good!

Love to all of you -