Sorry, But She's On A Roll . . .

We all got home today after freezing our Texas tails off, and I said we needed some hot chocolate so that we could warm our bones. Banana declined the offer for hot chocolate, and he walked away.

Noodle was concerned! She said, "If Banana doesn't drink any hot chocolate, then he'll never get his bones warm!"

Noodle's Latest Funny

We were piling into the van this morning, and Banana was still in the house getting his shoes. Noodle climbs calmly into the van and says, "Mamma, don't leave Banana behind. Because I don't want you to go to jail."

A Word From God, Through Noodle

Banana was eating his cereal and Noodle said:

"Banana, God does not want you to eat with your mouth open."

I Copied

Sorry, Shane. I love these pics, though. I'm a stealer. I stole these pics from your blog. But the one of Banana's mad face cracks me up and I wanted to stick it on my blog. Sorry. I'll pay the fine and everything.

Also, I'm paying homage to the D/S family here, especially to Allie, since Butterbean is wearing the bib that she picked out for him. Love you guys!

Laugh With Me!

I had another doctor's appointment yesterday. I have a fabulous babysitter, and I had conferenced with her on Monday after being ordered not to work anymore. I told her that I may be needing her from time to time as I have doctor's appointments, and that I would need her Thursday. She said she'd be expecting us.




So yesterday I got everyone ready and off to Babysitter's house. Only . . . Babysitter wasn't there! We knocked at the door . . . knocked again . . . and again . . .





Sometimes Babysitter and the other kids are in the backyard playing, so we checked. The backyard was deserted, and the house was dark. And in a moment of panic, I realized that I was now locked in the backyard. The fence latch can be only opened from the outside.





After a moment of surveying my situation, the first option is this: try the neighbor's fence. Luckily, I know Babysitter's neighbor, who is very nice. So I tried the latch. It was accessible, but I couldn't open it. Tried though I did, I couldn't open the darn thing!



Now, the thing that you have to understand is that I really am a cartoon character. These things are always happening to me in my cartoon character life. Please, read on:





The second option was this: try to climb over the chain link fence. I was trapped; I could see no other way out! I felt a little bit like some kind of tragic character. The trash pickup drove by, and for a moment I considered yelling at them to help, especially since none of the neighbors were home! But that trash pick-up is pretty speedy.





I worked out a procedure:
1)Lift bags over the fence
2)Lift children over the fence
3)Heave myself over the fence.





Mind you, I should not even be moving around, unless I'm getting up to use the bathroom! But I had to get out, right?





I lift the bags over without event. I lift the children over, praying that my water won't break. I take off my shoes and try to climb the fence. Yeah, right! I am also praying that the kids don't run away. Do you remember that riddle about the fox and the cheese and the goat and the boat, or something like that? I felt a little bit like I was in that riddle.





I spotted a red wagon and a lawn chair. I positioned the chair on the other side of the fence and the red wagon on my side. I managed to actually get my leg over the fence, but that chair was WAYYYYY down there! Noodle was clearly concerned, trying to move the chair for me, asking if she could hold my hand. Banana looked grief-stricken and fearful. I was near tears, and the fence was scratching my legs. I took my leg back down, gathered myself, and tried it again. This clearly was not going to work, since I wasn't even straddling the fence. Rather, my leg was just up in the air at some sort of strange angle.





Oooooo, what if I fell?????? This was simply NOT an option!




I decided to try the latch of the neighbor's fence one more time and to PRAY!!! The combination of trying and praying worked! I had tried that dadgum latch fifteen times before my attempt at fence-climbing. I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned in all this. Perhaps it's this: Pray BEFORE you try to climb the fence!*




I called my babysitter* last night; her mother has been very ill and I was afraid there had been some emergency. There was no emergency, and she was beside herself at having forgotten. I was laughing the whole time I was recounting the story, but she was appalled. She apologized profusely.




I said, "You have no idea who you are talking to," and explained my cartoon character life.




*by the time I was on the freeway to the doctor's office, I truly began to see the whole episode as a comedy sketch. Maybe I should send it into Saturday Night Live or MadTV.

**my babysitter is an AMAZING woman who has five children. She is so organized and on top of things. She truly amazes me and I wish I could be like her. I was relieved to find out that there was no emergency. I tried hard to make her understand how goofy I am and how I have had many, many experiences that will top any amount of her forgetfulness!

Poor Kids

I have lots of things running around in my head, things of social importance. I should write about some of these things here on this blog. And one day I will. But for now, I just like writing about the funny things my kids say! Sorry. I'm sure ya'll are getting bored. But this morning's funny was too funny NOT to post:

I "made" breakfast this morning. As in, I actually turned on the oven. And popped in the French toast sticks. Yep. I'm a regular gourmet chef.

Chicken Nugget sat down to her outstandingly prepared breakfast. She usually gets some very healthy and filling . . . cold cereal (ahem). She looked at the French toast sticks and said:

"Wow! We haven't had a made breakfast since Grandma was here!"

Unattended Children

I shared this with some of you via e-mail, but I just HAD to put it on the blog! I thought it was too funny. Hope you enjoy! And don't leave your children unattended. You'll be sorry! :o)

Kindergartners

I subbed in a kindergarten class today. Here are a couple of funnies:

This week, the class is learning about dinosaurs. So I read them a couple of books on dinosaurs. After I read the non-fiction dinosaur book, I was amazed by the children's stories of how they had been finding dinosaur bones in their very backyards! It was a real little class of archeologists. Most amazing was the story told by little A, who said that he'd not only found one or two dinosaur bones, but a whole set! After he dug up all the bones, he put them all back together to look like, as he said, "the real dinosaur!"
I thought for a moment, and then asked him, ever so sweetly, "Hm . . . I wonder if I asked your mom and dad about you putting that dinosaur back together, if they would tell me if that was true or not."
He promptly shook his head, never missed a beat, and said, "Nope! Big, fat lie."
Then many of the other dinosaur-bone-finders said they thought theirs had really been chicken bones.

While I was reading the non-fiction dinosaur book called My Dinosaur, we got to a part where the girl and her dinosaur get a drink from the river. Sweet little C said, "I don't think that's real because I don't think a girl would drink from water like that because it probably has a lot of germs in it."
Most of the boys agreed. I guess boys don't mind germy water.

This morning, Noodle told me:
"You look beautiful!"

Banana then told me:
"You look clean!"

The Advantages of Having a Dirty House:

OK, there really aren't any. Which is why I have to clean my house today. Really. I'm not kidding this time. Thankfully, we have a three-day weekend, so I should have plenty of time to do it if I happen to not finish cleaning it today.

In the meantime, not cleaning house has given Chicken Nugget some time to catch up on her new favorite past-time, Webkins:

And it has given me time to catch up on some much-needed beauty treatments:

And look how happy Noodle and Banana have been in the meantime:

This is because they weren't at our dirty house. These were taken at the babysitter's house. When they came home, they cried.

What We Need

Before the baby comes, even though this is our fourth, we will be needing a few items. For instance, a basinette. The one we had was a yard-sale find and served us well through Noodle and Banana's first few weeks, but then it fell apart in storage (as we discovered while getting ready for our last yard sale).

We'll also need a new changing table and a dresser, as well as a car seat. Our previous car seat was also a hand-me-down, and it expired (those things actually do have expiration dates, as per safety codes and etc.)

So although they are semi-big-ticket items, at least that's really all that we'll need.

However, the rest of the family has some needs as well:

Noodle needs more sleep before the baby comes. She's working on it right now.

Banana needs - um, actually, Banana's good for now.

Chicken Nugget stated her need to me last night: She said very politely that if she were to get a football helmet before the big arrival, she felt she'd be all ready for the new baby.

More Tasty Names Family Kid-isms

Noodle had just gotten herself dressed.
She came and aske me, "How do I look?"
I said, "You look lovely!"
Banana asked if he looked lovely, too.
I said, "Oh, yes, you look lovely too!"
Noodle said, "No, he's a boy! Boys don't look lovely!"
I said, "Banana, you look handsome!"
Noodle said, "Yeah, Banana, you look stinkin' handsome!"

I was getting Banana dressed Friday morning and I asked him if he wanted a little brother.
He said, "No, I want cereal."

Aren't They Cute?

We sure think so!!!!!!

Helpful Little Nugget

This morning, as I was brushing Chicken Nugget's hair, she was telling me how sorry she was that I wasn't feeling well today. (I've been kind-of under the weather since last night.)

Chicken Nugget said, "I wish I didn't have to go to school and I could stay here and help you all day."

I said, "Awww . . . you're such a sweet girl. But that's not your job. Your job is to be a third grader at school. Besides, you'd be so bored here all day without your friends and stuff."

"Mmm-mmm," she shook her head, "No I wouldn't, as long as we had cable."

Another Quotable Quote

I can't help it, ya'll. My kids crack me up. I know ya'll are probably ready for some pictures or something a bit more substantial to read or look at on my blog, but sharing funny quotations from my kids is hilarious - at least to me!

Here goes:

Banana and I are doing some good, hard cuddling on the couch. Smooching even.

I said, "I love you, Banana."

He said, "I have boogers."

I'm a great big ol' meanie mommy . . .

Scene: The bathtub, tonight.
Lots of screaming was going on. I was frazzled.
I said, "Ya'll are about to get in some big trouble. Who wants to get in trouble first?"
You always ask the "who wants to get in trouble first" question, because you know that no one wants to get in trouble at all, and usually it will stop any further naughtiness. Not tonight.

Noodle and Banana both stopped and looked at me. No naughtiness for a couple of seconds.

Noodle: "I don't want to get in trouble."
She shook her head. All was silent for a couple more minutes.
Then she pointed to Banana and said, "Banana gets in trouble."

Banana, looking up at me with his wide, innocent eyes:"I get in trouble."

Noodle: "I don't get in trouble."

Banana:"I in trouble."

Noodle:"Banana is in trouble, I'm not. I'm not in trouble."

Banana:"I in trouble. I NOT in trouble!"

Noodle:"I'm not in trouble! Nobody is in trouble!"

Lots of giggling. I started laughing. What are you going to do?