OK, I cannot look at this site without my mouth watering. I'm not kidding. I get chills. It's a sad testament to the kind of person I am. I want to be buried in piles of earrings.
Look for yourself. Just remember to come up for air.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Another Cryptic Little Story For Your Enjoyment
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a teacher who loved her students very much. The teacher knew, as all teachers do, that sometimes teachers have to make tough decisions regarding their students. The loving teacher knew that these hard decisions might make others feel less than happy.
One day, the teacher made one of those decisions. The teacher knew it was the right thing to do, but sure enough, someone felt unhappy about it. So the teacher had to deal with that, and things were upsetting for awhile. The teacher wished it would just all go away. But the teacher also knew that the hard thing was the right thing.
Now the teacher is kind of sad and taking a lot of tylenol for all the pain caused by tension in her neck and head. She is also using the Bed Buddy a lot, on her neck. The teacher will be happy to elaborate on the story in a private e-mail. The teacher loves all of her devoted fans who read her blog.
One day, the teacher made one of those decisions. The teacher knew it was the right thing to do, but sure enough, someone felt unhappy about it. So the teacher had to deal with that, and things were upsetting for awhile. The teacher wished it would just all go away. But the teacher also knew that the hard thing was the right thing.
Now the teacher is kind of sad and taking a lot of tylenol for all the pain caused by tension in her neck and head. She is also using the Bed Buddy a lot, on her neck. The teacher will be happy to elaborate on the story in a private e-mail. The teacher loves all of her devoted fans who read her blog.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Gloria Dei
We visited Gloria Dei Lutheran Church in Houston yesterday. It is right across from NASA! Pretty exciting. Even more exciting was the evidence all throughout the church and its members that they do what they believe. There were several mission trips in the works, and one that was just completed. The church places emphasis on BEING church to the surrounding community. The worship was amazing. The message was full of Truth. The members get together outside of the four walls on a regular basis. I'm not saying our search is over, but this is definitely the kind of church we are looking for.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Books
What is it about books? I love them.
Tonight we had a family outing tonight to the mall. We chose the mall that has the huge Barnes & Noble in it. Scott and I get 20% off there because we are teachers. Plus, it is just an awesome bookstore.
I spent most of my time in the children's section with the three big kids. I wanted all of the books. Just being surrounded by them made me happy. Curious George, Where the Wild Things Are, The Little House, Junie B. Jones, Harry Potter, Amelia Bedilia, Mrs. Nelson is Missing . . .
Scott had Charlie in the stroller while I stayed with the big kids and read with them. It was so much fun, and by that hour, we were pretty much the only ones in the children's area. Eliza kept running over to look at her favorites; Molly liked the princess books; Aaron wanted tractor books. I was happy to read with them while Scott picked out the Donald Miller books that I wanted.
I finally broke down and bought Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have read it about a thousand times, and every time I do, I find something new in it. I also picked up Searching for God Knows What (also by Donald Miller). Scott found his treasures in the bargain book section. The kids each got a book, too, plus a couple of extras that I just had to get to add to their collections (Curious George Goes to the Chocolate Factory and The Velveteen Rabbit).
That's all. I just love looking at all those books. I love reading through them. I love that my kids love them. I could stay there for hours and hours and hours . . . but the store closes at 10:00 and we were all pretty tuckered out by that time. So we weeded through all the books that we had picked up and had to set some aside for later, otherwise we would have dropped about a hundred bucks! But it gives us something to look forward to for our next trip to the bookstore.
Tonight we had a family outing tonight to the mall. We chose the mall that has the huge Barnes & Noble in it. Scott and I get 20% off there because we are teachers. Plus, it is just an awesome bookstore.
I spent most of my time in the children's section with the three big kids. I wanted all of the books. Just being surrounded by them made me happy. Curious George, Where the Wild Things Are, The Little House, Junie B. Jones, Harry Potter, Amelia Bedilia, Mrs. Nelson is Missing . . .
Scott had Charlie in the stroller while I stayed with the big kids and read with them. It was so much fun, and by that hour, we were pretty much the only ones in the children's area. Eliza kept running over to look at her favorites; Molly liked the princess books; Aaron wanted tractor books. I was happy to read with them while Scott picked out the Donald Miller books that I wanted.
I finally broke down and bought Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have read it about a thousand times, and every time I do, I find something new in it. I also picked up Searching for God Knows What (also by Donald Miller). Scott found his treasures in the bargain book section. The kids each got a book, too, plus a couple of extras that I just had to get to add to their collections (Curious George Goes to the Chocolate Factory and The Velveteen Rabbit).
That's all. I just love looking at all those books. I love reading through them. I love that my kids love them. I could stay there for hours and hours and hours . . . but the store closes at 10:00 and we were all pretty tuckered out by that time. So we weeded through all the books that we had picked up and had to set some aside for later, otherwise we would have dropped about a hundred bucks! But it gives us something to look forward to for our next trip to the bookstore.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Looking
Our family is in the process of looking for a new church home. I have never thought of how weird that sounds until recently. To be "shopping" for a church; to be "looking" for one as though you have lost something. To weigh pros and cons as though buying a new car or something.
We joined our previous church mainly because I had become involved in helping with the small group ministry. I felt that if I were going to be involved, then I should be a member. This happened just shortly after we moved to the area. We hadn't visited many churches before we settled, either.
Now it just feels so strange. The only reason I have ever left churches in the past was because I moved or got a job at a church. Now it is that we have not left the community, but have left a church. Though I know it isn't, it feels somehow wrong or something. But we are certain of our decision and so we keep "looking."
Our church in Iowa was amazing. So full of worship and so mission-minded. It had such a heart for the surrounding community, and the people were not afraid to get their hands dirty. I was amazed at how the church reached out to everyone. The ministers and the members would drive half an hour or more to visit other members. (The church was surrounded by rural communities and lots and lots of corn). There were fellowships of some kind just about weekly. We felt like family with this church right away.
Same with the church before that. So community-minded, mission-sending, and it felt like family. Rewind to California. I was so close to my church family there, and that church was constantly in the community, worshipping God, and fellowshipping with one another.
None of the above churches were perfect. But we are not looking for a perfect church. We are looking for a church that consistently: worships (has a heart for worship), reaches out to the community, does and supports missions, and feels like family (gets together often and checks on one another). We are not looking for a particular denomination, though we do have certain doctrines that we adhere to and we want to attend a church that adheres to the same ones. We weren't Baptist in Iowa (sh, don't tell), but after I found out that God isn't Baptist (don't tell that either - there are some Baptists who still don't know), I figured it might be OK.
We are becoming discouraged, and especially having no family here, it is hard to be in "church limbo." We still have strong friendships to people from our other church, but not having weekly worship with a church family can just make you feel so empty. So, please pray for us as we search. We'll keep you posted.
We joined our previous church mainly because I had become involved in helping with the small group ministry. I felt that if I were going to be involved, then I should be a member. This happened just shortly after we moved to the area. We hadn't visited many churches before we settled, either.
Now it just feels so strange. The only reason I have ever left churches in the past was because I moved or got a job at a church. Now it is that we have not left the community, but have left a church. Though I know it isn't, it feels somehow wrong or something. But we are certain of our decision and so we keep "looking."
Our church in Iowa was amazing. So full of worship and so mission-minded. It had such a heart for the surrounding community, and the people were not afraid to get their hands dirty. I was amazed at how the church reached out to everyone. The ministers and the members would drive half an hour or more to visit other members. (The church was surrounded by rural communities and lots and lots of corn). There were fellowships of some kind just about weekly. We felt like family with this church right away.
Same with the church before that. So community-minded, mission-sending, and it felt like family. Rewind to California. I was so close to my church family there, and that church was constantly in the community, worshipping God, and fellowshipping with one another.
None of the above churches were perfect. But we are not looking for a perfect church. We are looking for a church that consistently: worships (has a heart for worship), reaches out to the community, does and supports missions, and feels like family (gets together often and checks on one another). We are not looking for a particular denomination, though we do have certain doctrines that we adhere to and we want to attend a church that adheres to the same ones. We weren't Baptist in Iowa (sh, don't tell), but after I found out that God isn't Baptist (don't tell that either - there are some Baptists who still don't know), I figured it might be OK.
We are becoming discouraged, and especially having no family here, it is hard to be in "church limbo." We still have strong friendships to people from our other church, but not having weekly worship with a church family can just make you feel so empty. So, please pray for us as we search. We'll keep you posted.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Charlie's Appointment
Charlie's appointment was yesterday. The orthopedist said that Charlie has congenital kyphosis. This is a condition that could lead to paralysis. By every indication (including what the doctor said as well as what I've found on the Internet), surgery is always the best option. Thankfully, we noticed the problem early and were able to recieve the diagnosis now, since the best time to operate seems to be before the age of five. Now Charlie has to have an MRI to determine if he should have surgery right away or if we can wait a little while.
I am still kind of stunned, and trying to wrap my mind around the fact that one of my children has a progressive condition that could potentially cause serious medical issues. However, we live in a great place when it comes to medicine - Houston has outstanding doctors and hospitals.
And, yes, I am doing the mom thing: asking myself if I took enough folic acid in the beginning of my pregnancy, or if the medicine I took to stop my labor may have caused this, or did I eat too many brownies . . . even though know that this probably just happened because it did, I still go back in my mind and try to remember.
The above picture was taken of him just after his appointment. He was eating Oreos. :o)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
School and Other Things
Today was the second day of school, and though I do not yet know all of the students' names, I am already starting to love them. I like to talk and joke with my students. I kind of like the teaching part too, but the talking and joking part is my favorite.
I get to be the cheer coach this year too! I'll have the JV girls. Is that a hoot or what? Stop laughing now. OK. That's enough. Really. Anyway, I have thoroughly enjoyed the girls so far. Right now JV and Varsity are practicing together, but in a couple of weeks I will have the JV girls all by myself! Other than getting to know the girls and going to games, the other things I am looking forward to are: once-a-month get-togethers, competition, and cheer camp! Rah!
School is already so much more relaxed than last year. First, I know the ropes a little better. Second, my hall is really fun. Also, we have an AWESOME chair for my department this year. I cannot stress this enough. She totally rocks, and I am not just saying that. I feel like I can breathe and be myself.
And as for other things . . . can I just tell you how much I love my family and friends? I have been thinking about this so much over the past few days. I am not a perfect person - not the best wife or mom or friend . . . my kids watch too much TV and often eat potato chips for dinner. Hardly anyone in my house sleeps in their own beds at night, and I am sure they will be emotionally scarred forever. However, whenever I tuck them into whichever bed they crawl into at night, they know that I love them. They smile and hug and kiss me. My husband talks with me about our problems. "Our" problems, because no problem is just mine or yours; we share them. We are a family. And my friends . . . you dear, dear ones, those whom I half-expected, half-wanted to hate me. You never did. How could I have sold you so short? If I have seen evidence of anything, it has been love and strength. My family and friends are so strong, strong enough to love and strong enough to accept, strong enough to cover over my mistakes. Strong enough to walk with someone through something very dark.
Much love to all of you . . .
I get to be the cheer coach this year too! I'll have the JV girls. Is that a hoot or what? Stop laughing now. OK. That's enough. Really. Anyway, I have thoroughly enjoyed the girls so far. Right now JV and Varsity are practicing together, but in a couple of weeks I will have the JV girls all by myself! Other than getting to know the girls and going to games, the other things I am looking forward to are: once-a-month get-togethers, competition, and cheer camp! Rah!
School is already so much more relaxed than last year. First, I know the ropes a little better. Second, my hall is really fun. Also, we have an AWESOME chair for my department this year. I cannot stress this enough. She totally rocks, and I am not just saying that. I feel like I can breathe and be myself.
And as for other things . . . can I just tell you how much I love my family and friends? I have been thinking about this so much over the past few days. I am not a perfect person - not the best wife or mom or friend . . . my kids watch too much TV and often eat potato chips for dinner. Hardly anyone in my house sleeps in their own beds at night, and I am sure they will be emotionally scarred forever. However, whenever I tuck them into whichever bed they crawl into at night, they know that I love them. They smile and hug and kiss me. My husband talks with me about our problems. "Our" problems, because no problem is just mine or yours; we share them. We are a family. And my friends . . . you dear, dear ones, those whom I half-expected, half-wanted to hate me. You never did. How could I have sold you so short? If I have seen evidence of anything, it has been love and strength. My family and friends are so strong, strong enough to love and strong enough to accept, strong enough to cover over my mistakes. Strong enough to walk with someone through something very dark.
Much love to all of you . . .
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Still On the Journey
We got Baby Butterbean and ourselves all ready to go yesterday morning, only to get a call from the doctor telling us we would need to reschedule the appointment. We were disappointed. We wanted to know what is wrong with him right now!!!! But we will have to wait until Aug. 28 to find out.
This week I haven't felt too well, but I felt better yesterday and I feel better today. I spent yesterday shopping for school stuff. Scott has been at school getting his new room all set up. He has had to move rooms because his previous classroom (that has been his classroom for the past two years!) has asbestos under the floor and must be renovated! Yikes! Moving rooms is a huge job for a teacher, especially if you've been in one room for awhile and have made a little nest for yourself. So Scott is working hard this week. I'll be going up to my school to organize my nest tomorrow.
Last week we were in Arkansas. We got in some good Grandma, Pappa, Uncle Matt, Aunt Lisa, cousin Trevor, Aunt Elizabeth, and cousin McNary time. I also got to see my beloved Courtney and Rachel, my BFF of course! (CBB, make sure Rachel sees this!) I got to have long talks with people that I love about things that matter, and even though we didn't come up with any concrete answers, we felt better knowing that our struggles were the same.
We did fun stuff last week, like having Elizabeth go with us and the kids to Wild River Country; going out for Chinese food with the family; having the McNary cousins over for dinner; taking the kids to MidAmerica Museum, the Promenade, and Bathhouse Row in Hot Springs; and celebrating Daddy's 76th birthday with homemade chocolate meringue pie. Again, as soon as we learn to upload videos, you will be able to see some of our adventures!
So, I'm still on this journey of uncertainty and wondering. I may not ever have the answers I am looking for, but at this point, assurance and peace would be welcome friends in the absence of answers. What a year it has been! I think about it every day, how one event really has changed every aspect of my thinking. That change in thinking has in turn changed my life, my outlook. I used to feel like I was on a mountain and could see everything beautiful and green and clear all around me. Everything was in its place and everything made sense, everything mattered. Now I feel like I am chopping my way through a dense forest, full of trees I can't climb and rivers I can't cross and predators in wait all around me. Nothing is certain, nothing makes sense, and I'm constantly being tripped up by debris on the path, trying to figure out what matters.
Much love to all of you -
This week I haven't felt too well, but I felt better yesterday and I feel better today. I spent yesterday shopping for school stuff. Scott has been at school getting his new room all set up. He has had to move rooms because his previous classroom (that has been his classroom for the past two years!) has asbestos under the floor and must be renovated! Yikes! Moving rooms is a huge job for a teacher, especially if you've been in one room for awhile and have made a little nest for yourself. So Scott is working hard this week. I'll be going up to my school to organize my nest tomorrow.
Last week we were in Arkansas. We got in some good Grandma, Pappa, Uncle Matt, Aunt Lisa, cousin Trevor, Aunt Elizabeth, and cousin McNary time. I also got to see my beloved Courtney and Rachel, my BFF of course! (CBB, make sure Rachel sees this!) I got to have long talks with people that I love about things that matter, and even though we didn't come up with any concrete answers, we felt better knowing that our struggles were the same.
We did fun stuff last week, like having Elizabeth go with us and the kids to Wild River Country; going out for Chinese food with the family; having the McNary cousins over for dinner; taking the kids to MidAmerica Museum, the Promenade, and Bathhouse Row in Hot Springs; and celebrating Daddy's 76th birthday with homemade chocolate meringue pie. Again, as soon as we learn to upload videos, you will be able to see some of our adventures!
So, I'm still on this journey of uncertainty and wondering. I may not ever have the answers I am looking for, but at this point, assurance and peace would be welcome friends in the absence of answers. What a year it has been! I think about it every day, how one event really has changed every aspect of my thinking. That change in thinking has in turn changed my life, my outlook. I used to feel like I was on a mountain and could see everything beautiful and green and clear all around me. Everything was in its place and everything made sense, everything mattered. Now I feel like I am chopping my way through a dense forest, full of trees I can't climb and rivers I can't cross and predators in wait all around me. Nothing is certain, nothing makes sense, and I'm constantly being tripped up by debris on the path, trying to figure out what matters.
Much love to all of you -
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Spinal Scare
Baby Butterbean is walking around here like crazy. He'll be running soon. It's crazy!
Not long after he started sitting up, I noticed something that I didn't like about his back. The lower part of his spine was sticking way out, curving outward, and he almost looked hunch-backed or something. I mentioned it to my doctor at his six month checkup, but the doctor didn't seem alarmed, saying that as long as he was sitting up fine and it didn't hinder his movement, it was nothing to be immediately alarmed about. We LOVE our pediatrician! Love him. And at the time, BB was going though some rough stuff with several bouts in a row of RSV, about which the doctor was alarmed.
Fast forward to BB's 12 month checkup, which he had just a couple of weeks ago. I again pointed out my discomfort with his spine situation, and the doctor spent a good bit of time examining BB's back. This time, he was concerned. So he ordered x-rays, and I got a call today that has gotten me unnerved. Even though the doctor said it is not an emergency, I'm the mommy! I have a right to be unnerved.
I still don't know exactly what is wrong, but to hear the words "malformation," "deformity," and "congenital" about a condition that involves my child made me want to cry. The doctor said something about certain bones not closing properly, a curving of the lumbar, and "spinal dysplasia," that is, if I caught everything! He may have said more . . . I don't know. Anyway, I had to get busy right away securing films of BB's xray as well as getting an appointment with a pediatric orthopedist.
BB is the one of my children who has ever had health problems. The asthma issues, bouts with RSV, even the eczema, have all been hard on me. I know that I am blessed, that there are parents who deal with so much more serious issues. Still, I am a worrier by nature, so it has all been kind of tough to take. I just want BB to be the happiest, healthiest baby around. And it's hard to be happy while being sicky. Still, I think he has weathered it all better than I have!
So we'll be meeting with the orthopedist on Aug. 12 and will know more then. I'll keep you all posted. Please keep my little Butterbean in your thoughts and prayers. He is so happy and cute and we are all so happy he's in our family. I just want him to be OK.
Not long after he started sitting up, I noticed something that I didn't like about his back. The lower part of his spine was sticking way out, curving outward, and he almost looked hunch-backed or something. I mentioned it to my doctor at his six month checkup, but the doctor didn't seem alarmed, saying that as long as he was sitting up fine and it didn't hinder his movement, it was nothing to be immediately alarmed about. We LOVE our pediatrician! Love him. And at the time, BB was going though some rough stuff with several bouts in a row of RSV, about which the doctor was alarmed.
Fast forward to BB's 12 month checkup, which he had just a couple of weeks ago. I again pointed out my discomfort with his spine situation, and the doctor spent a good bit of time examining BB's back. This time, he was concerned. So he ordered x-rays, and I got a call today that has gotten me unnerved. Even though the doctor said it is not an emergency, I'm the mommy! I have a right to be unnerved.
I still don't know exactly what is wrong, but to hear the words "malformation," "deformity," and "congenital" about a condition that involves my child made me want to cry. The doctor said something about certain bones not closing properly, a curving of the lumbar, and "spinal dysplasia," that is, if I caught everything! He may have said more . . . I don't know. Anyway, I had to get busy right away securing films of BB's xray as well as getting an appointment with a pediatric orthopedist.
BB is the one of my children who has ever had health problems. The asthma issues, bouts with RSV, even the eczema, have all been hard on me. I know that I am blessed, that there are parents who deal with so much more serious issues. Still, I am a worrier by nature, so it has all been kind of tough to take. I just want BB to be the happiest, healthiest baby around. And it's hard to be happy while being sicky. Still, I think he has weathered it all better than I have!
So we'll be meeting with the orthopedist on Aug. 12 and will know more then. I'll keep you all posted. Please keep my little Butterbean in your thoughts and prayers. He is so happy and cute and we are all so happy he's in our family. I just want him to be OK.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
What It Is and What It Isn't, But Mostly What It Is
I don't claim to be an expert on anything these days, except maybe in messing up. But I have been learning a lot about what it means to minister and be ministered to. I have been more guilty of what mistering is not, than what it is, and, yes, a couple of items on this list are borne of frustration, disappointment, and anger. But the majority of it is born of humility. I have been humbled by true examples of ministry, and when I am out of this and on the other side and when I (if I) become the person (I hope) that I'm meant to be, I want to help people, to minister. I am also learning that I didn't know as much as I thought I did about anything, including ministering (maybe especially ministering). Thank you for ministering to me. Thank you.
Ministry drives an hour (or five or ten) to sit with someone, listen to them talk, listen to them cry.
Ministry speaks words of healing.
Ministry is available at a moment's notice; it makes time.
Ministry tells someone that they are worth the trouble.
Ministry does not just send an e-mail or two and leave it at that.
Ministry lets someone know they are loved.
Minsitry loves someone in the midst of their unloveliness.
Ministry does not wait to be asked.
Ministry calls you every day, whether or not you want to be called.
Ministry doesn't always ask, "What can I do?"
Ministry just does - something, anything - because ministry knows that doing something is better than wondering what should be done.
Ministry helps you laugh through tears.
Ministry does not just wait at an alter, but pulls you toward it.
Ministry hugs with big, big hugs, and long ones.
Ministry has big shoulders, and lets you use them.
Ministry does not judge, but ministers with the grace already experienced.
Ministry does not always say what we want to hear, but always says what we need to hear, even when it is painful (to say and to hear).
Ministry wounds faithfully.
Ministry does not just listen, but hears.
Ministry offers hope.
Ministry is not afraid of you.
Ministry is not afraid of the hard stuff.
Ministry is not afraid to get dirty.
Ministry will sit on your bedroom floor and talk with you for an hour and a half (or more).
Ministry says, "Call anytime. Anytime," and means it.
Ministry knows what you can't ask for, and offers it anyway.
Ministry remembers you next week.
Ministry believes for you, when you cannot believe.
Ministry meets you where you are.
Ministry accepts you just the way that you are, right now.
Ministry brings chocolate. :o)
Ministry lets you have another cup of coffee.
Ministry says, "I will always be your friend, and nothing that you do or say can ever change that. I love you."
Ministry is personal.
Ministry can save your life.
Ministry drives an hour (or five or ten) to sit with someone, listen to them talk, listen to them cry.
Ministry speaks words of healing.
Ministry is available at a moment's notice; it makes time.
Ministry tells someone that they are worth the trouble.
Ministry does not just send an e-mail or two and leave it at that.
Ministry lets someone know they are loved.
Minsitry loves someone in the midst of their unloveliness.
Ministry does not wait to be asked.
Ministry calls you every day, whether or not you want to be called.
Ministry doesn't always ask, "What can I do?"
Ministry just does - something, anything - because ministry knows that doing something is better than wondering what should be done.
Ministry helps you laugh through tears.
Ministry does not just wait at an alter, but pulls you toward it.
Ministry hugs with big, big hugs, and long ones.
Ministry has big shoulders, and lets you use them.
Ministry does not judge, but ministers with the grace already experienced.
Ministry does not always say what we want to hear, but always says what we need to hear, even when it is painful (to say and to hear).
Ministry wounds faithfully.
Ministry does not just listen, but hears.
Ministry offers hope.
Ministry is not afraid of you.
Ministry is not afraid of the hard stuff.
Ministry is not afraid to get dirty.
Ministry will sit on your bedroom floor and talk with you for an hour and a half (or more).
Ministry says, "Call anytime. Anytime," and means it.
Ministry knows what you can't ask for, and offers it anyway.
Ministry remembers you next week.
Ministry believes for you, when you cannot believe.
Ministry meets you where you are.
Ministry accepts you just the way that you are, right now.
Ministry brings chocolate. :o)
Ministry lets you have another cup of coffee.
Ministry says, "I will always be your friend, and nothing that you do or say can ever change that. I love you."
Ministry is personal.
Ministry can save your life.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
You Are One, Little One!
Our sweet Baby Butterbean turned one on Friday! It's hard to believe that he could have started out at just a little over 5 pounds. Now he is my chubby little monkey. I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that we've had him in our lives for an entire year.We love you Baby Butterbean! I'm so glad you are part of our family!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Summer School, Part II
I think I have realized the reason I agreed to teach summer school is that I had a subconscious need to be punished for all the bad things I have ever done in my life.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Teacher
East of Houston
a teacher
her students
Many days she wonders
Sometimes she knows
Three dots tattooed
Between the thumb and first finger
She knows
One of her students broke a finger
It was black and blue,
purple
so swollen
The teacher said to her,
Why don't you go to the doctor?
That must hurt . . .
Her beautiful student
with the loveliest dark eyes
framed by long eyelashes,
curly, curly hair
and a ready smile
said to her,
Miss, you don't know . . .
you don't know how it is
with us.
Edgar was in the hall
laughing with his girlfriend
and talking to Jose,
who said,
My uncle has some of that stuff
it was in his car last night
we can get some tonight . . .
Jose and Edgar
laughing, jovial,
always ready
with a greeting
for the teacher.
Today she knows
what tonight will be
for the two boys
The teacher sits at her desk
in a school
just East of Houston.
She sees the large, round city,
a gray outline each morning
as she follows lines of other cars
going that way . . .
And knows that what is there
and East of there
and West and South
of the round, gray city
is a world filled with people
wanting to escape
and those people have children
who want to escape, too
But until they can,
she will teach them
from a book filled with stories.
a teacher
her students
Many days she wonders
Sometimes she knows
Three dots tattooed
Between the thumb and first finger
She knows
One of her students broke a finger
It was black and blue,
purple
so swollen
The teacher said to her,
Why don't you go to the doctor?
That must hurt . . .
Her beautiful student
with the loveliest dark eyes
framed by long eyelashes,
curly, curly hair
and a ready smile
said to her,
Miss, you don't know . . .
you don't know how it is
with us.
Edgar was in the hall
laughing with his girlfriend
and talking to Jose,
who said,
My uncle has some of that stuff
it was in his car last night
we can get some tonight . . .
Jose and Edgar
laughing, jovial,
always ready
with a greeting
for the teacher.
Today she knows
what tonight will be
for the two boys
The teacher sits at her desk
in a school
just East of Houston.
She sees the large, round city,
a gray outline each morning
as she follows lines of other cars
going that way . . .
And knows that what is there
and East of there
and West and South
of the round, gray city
is a world filled with people
wanting to escape
and those people have children
who want to escape, too
But until they can,
she will teach them
from a book filled with stories.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Summer School
My summer is not here yet. I'm teaching summer school. So I'm waiting for July 1st to arrive so that I have my break.
I'm not on my normal campus, and I've taken over a room that a math teacher uses during the school year. It appears that the math teacher is also a coach.
So I am spending this day cleaning trash out of the classroom, arranging desks, and doing lesson plans. Oh, and blogging.
And thinking.
I know what I'm in for here. Well, kind of. I know that these students have failed their course for the year and need to make it up. I also know (because some of these students will be my former students) that some of them won't pass in summer school either, because they just don't care.
And that makes me think about a lot of other things. About people and life in general. About wanting more for yourself. About selling yourself out for stupid things. At least some people know better. I wonder if these students know better.
Bad things have happened to many of my students. Really bad things. And yet, the human race continues. We go through pain and mistakes and we continue. We chose to have babies and raise families, all the while knowing that there is pain in this life. But we do it because we want to or think it's the right thing or the best thing or it's just what human beings do. No one wants to be alone, and maybe togetherness will ease some of the shared pain.
I don't know.
As I live over my many mistakes, maybe this summer with these students full of pain will offer some kind of cleansing. Maybe we can share some pain and some literature and by July 1st something new and better will show itself for all of us.
I'm not on my normal campus, and I've taken over a room that a math teacher uses during the school year. It appears that the math teacher is also a coach.
So I am spending this day cleaning trash out of the classroom, arranging desks, and doing lesson plans. Oh, and blogging.
And thinking.
I know what I'm in for here. Well, kind of. I know that these students have failed their course for the year and need to make it up. I also know (because some of these students will be my former students) that some of them won't pass in summer school either, because they just don't care.
And that makes me think about a lot of other things. About people and life in general. About wanting more for yourself. About selling yourself out for stupid things. At least some people know better. I wonder if these students know better.
Bad things have happened to many of my students. Really bad things. And yet, the human race continues. We go through pain and mistakes and we continue. We chose to have babies and raise families, all the while knowing that there is pain in this life. But we do it because we want to or think it's the right thing or the best thing or it's just what human beings do. No one wants to be alone, and maybe togetherness will ease some of the shared pain.
I don't know.
As I live over my many mistakes, maybe this summer with these students full of pain will offer some kind of cleansing. Maybe we can share some pain and some literature and by July 1st something new and better will show itself for all of us.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
A Few Pics from the VW Show
We went to the Bay Area VW Club's VW Show at the San Jacinto Monument on May 17th. Here are some of the pics. More to follow when I can ever figure out how to download more pics from my cell phone. 
The kids had a great time looking at all the cars! So many colors!!!!
My favorite car at the show.
Banana had to touch everything on every car.
The kids had a great time looking at all the cars! So many colors!!!!
My favorite car at the show.
Banana had to touch everything on every car.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Half a Decade
Noodle is five years old today!
And, again, no pics. I have them on my phone but cannot figure out how to download them onto the computer.
For her birthday, Noodle requested a mani-pedi and a movie. So yesterday, that's exactly what she got. She looked so cute and way too grown up for her own good as she sat in a cute little pink chair with butterfly wings on it. She was totally into getting pampered as her feet, legs, hands, and arms were massaged and her nails painted. She even got cute little designs on her nails. Too adorable. She thought she was a princess. Well, she IS!!!
Then we went to see Monsters vs. Aliens, which was really cute. She was so happy to go to the real movies. It was Noodle's perfect day.
And she is the best Noodle in the whole wide world!
When Noodle was born, she cried and cried and cried. I was so worried about her. It broke my heart to hear that little cry. But as soon as the nurses handed her to me, she stopped. Chicken Nugget and Noodle are five years apart, so I was a little bit scared that maybe I had lost my baby touch. But Noodle and I became close right away. I remember once when she was just about five or six months old, I had to leave her with a babysitter for a few hours. I hugged and kissed and cuddled little Noodle before handing her off, and I told the babysitter, "I'm not used to being away from her. She is just my little friend!"
The babysitter said she could tell that we were like a team. :o)
Now my little Noodle will be going off to big school next year. I can't believe it. Let me tell you, Noodle is really something special. She is very selective about handing out affection, and you know that it is really a treasure when Noodle gives you hugs and kisses. I've had to get used to that, since I'm an affectionate person, but it has just made me appreciate Noodle all the more.
Noodle loves to draw and paint and do any kinds of art. She also loves to sing. She is so talented, and she hangs a new picture on our bedroom door every other day. Noodle is very generous with her artwork, and when you come to visit us, you will not leave without about five pictures she has made for you.
Noodle, we love you so much and I am so glad you are part of our family! You are amazing! Happy birthday!
And, again, no pics. I have them on my phone but cannot figure out how to download them onto the computer.
For her birthday, Noodle requested a mani-pedi and a movie. So yesterday, that's exactly what she got. She looked so cute and way too grown up for her own good as she sat in a cute little pink chair with butterfly wings on it. She was totally into getting pampered as her feet, legs, hands, and arms were massaged and her nails painted. She even got cute little designs on her nails. Too adorable. She thought she was a princess. Well, she IS!!!
Then we went to see Monsters vs. Aliens, which was really cute. She was so happy to go to the real movies. It was Noodle's perfect day.
And she is the best Noodle in the whole wide world!
When Noodle was born, she cried and cried and cried. I was so worried about her. It broke my heart to hear that little cry. But as soon as the nurses handed her to me, she stopped. Chicken Nugget and Noodle are five years apart, so I was a little bit scared that maybe I had lost my baby touch. But Noodle and I became close right away. I remember once when she was just about five or six months old, I had to leave her with a babysitter for a few hours. I hugged and kissed and cuddled little Noodle before handing her off, and I told the babysitter, "I'm not used to being away from her. She is just my little friend!"
The babysitter said she could tell that we were like a team. :o)
Now my little Noodle will be going off to big school next year. I can't believe it. Let me tell you, Noodle is really something special. She is very selective about handing out affection, and you know that it is really a treasure when Noodle gives you hugs and kisses. I've had to get used to that, since I'm an affectionate person, but it has just made me appreciate Noodle all the more.
Noodle loves to draw and paint and do any kinds of art. She also loves to sing. She is so talented, and she hangs a new picture on our bedroom door every other day. Noodle is very generous with her artwork, and when you come to visit us, you will not leave without about five pictures she has made for you.
Noodle, we love you so much and I am so glad you are part of our family! You are amazing! Happy birthday!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Relationships
I have been thinking (a dangerous past time, I know . . .) a lot about so many things as I've been on this journey of . . . uncertainty, I suppose you'd call it. This morning, my thoughts are about relationships.
Last night, I had dinner with a friend. We talked, had a nice time. Some of the things we talked about were important; other things weren't. But I left with the feeling that I was important to her.
It has occured to me that when it comes to relationships, no one wants to be someone else's agenda. Do you know what I mean? And while I've heard that concept many times while preparing for the ministry, I don't know if I was ever really taught it. (Maybe I was, and just don' remember . . .) Nor did I understand how to put it into words until just this morning.
A friend of mine recently told me that he has a problem with the concept of "missions trips." He said it's like going to a group of people and saying, "My God is better than your God." I had never really thought about it like that. And since I am in this process of rethinking pretty much everything in relation to God and faith, I've been rethinking the concept of missions trips as well. If I ever go on another one, I think I'd rather call it a relationship trip, or perhaps a friend-making trip. Not that I won't have convictions (I hope!) and a good message, but didn't Jesus even form relationships first? And won't there be real people to encounter, and won't the people be just as important as the message? Am I making sense?
The best friendships I have had through the years have been those in which I can laugh and talk a mile minute with the person, but also be able to sit in silence for a long time without feeling any need to talk. That is to say, there is such a comfort level that it doesn't matter what the other person is doing; there's no need for a schedule, there's no need to be something that we are not. The best relationships I have had have also been those in which just the sight of the person brings joy to my heart. Do you understand what I am saying? There's comfort in our likeness and our differences, there's beauty in our conversations, there's love whether we agree or not, and we both feel important to the other when we leave. No matter what is at the end of this path that I'm on, I do really know one thing: I want to show authentic love to other people.
Last night, I had dinner with a friend. We talked, had a nice time. Some of the things we talked about were important; other things weren't. But I left with the feeling that I was important to her.
It has occured to me that when it comes to relationships, no one wants to be someone else's agenda. Do you know what I mean? And while I've heard that concept many times while preparing for the ministry, I don't know if I was ever really taught it. (Maybe I was, and just don' remember . . .) Nor did I understand how to put it into words until just this morning.
A friend of mine recently told me that he has a problem with the concept of "missions trips." He said it's like going to a group of people and saying, "My God is better than your God." I had never really thought about it like that. And since I am in this process of rethinking pretty much everything in relation to God and faith, I've been rethinking the concept of missions trips as well. If I ever go on another one, I think I'd rather call it a relationship trip, or perhaps a friend-making trip. Not that I won't have convictions (I hope!) and a good message, but didn't Jesus even form relationships first? And won't there be real people to encounter, and won't the people be just as important as the message? Am I making sense?
The best friendships I have had through the years have been those in which I can laugh and talk a mile minute with the person, but also be able to sit in silence for a long time without feeling any need to talk. That is to say, there is such a comfort level that it doesn't matter what the other person is doing; there's no need for a schedule, there's no need to be something that we are not. The best relationships I have had have also been those in which just the sight of the person brings joy to my heart. Do you understand what I am saying? There's comfort in our likeness and our differences, there's beauty in our conversations, there's love whether we agree or not, and we both feel important to the other when we leave. No matter what is at the end of this path that I'm on, I do really know one thing: I want to show authentic love to other people.
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