This is inspired by Auntie Tiffy (look to the right on my blog roll - at present she is getting her groove back). Tiffy posted about the changing of the decade and all the things she's been doing since the calendar switched to a new millennium. I thought that was a great idea, so here goes mine, even though we are three months into this decade already:
The past ten years have seen me:
1. Get divorced. Sorry to begin on a negative, but it happened very early in 2000.
2. Become a mom three times over. Eliza was six months old when 2000 began; Molly came in '04, Aaron in '05, Charlie in '08.
3. Graduate college - May 2001.
4. Live in four states - I moved from AR to CA in '01, from CA to IA in '03, from IA to TX in '04.
5. Run a 5k - CA, 2002.
6. Find the love of my life, Scott, and learn a lot about commitment - he and I met in '02 and were married in '03.
7. Watch my brother get married! Something we never thought we'd see - July 13, 2008.
8. Minister to youth and create some of the best memories of my life at FSBCMC, Arkansas - just before leaving for CA; summer 2001.
9. Drive 95mph between Benton and Arkadelphia and never be pulled over - fall, 2000.
10. Become a teacher - officially in Jan. 2009.
And a lot more stuff, but these are the things that came to me quickly. Why not make your own ten years list? I want to read it.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Real God
I think I grew up with a mostly sterile God. I got a wonderful spiritual foundation at a church that was gounded in the Word, but the God I came to know growing up really only wanted to hear hymns and not any other kind of music and He appreciated prayer in a kind of formula. He liked for you to sit really still and quiet and listen for a long time. He was especially fond of church camp. It was His preference that if you were going to get to know Him, you should walk down an aisle and discuss it with someone first. And He liked code words like "saved."
As I blog, I am constantly aware that I might be offending someone, and I don't want to offend people. However, I don't want to spend an entire paragraph apologizing and qualifying. Anyone that knows me well (which is pretty much anyone who reads this blog) knows my history, so I am not going to go into a diatribe of "don't get me wrong."
I have spent the past year and a half analyzing (without even really knowing that that is what I was doing) all that I have ever thought or believed about God and the church. And I am sure that I have always known that the God I met and came to know cries with you, hurts with you, provides for you. The God with whom I formed a relationship was close to you when you were in pain.
But I am not sure that He saves parking spots for you or gives you raises at work. Do you know what I mean?
And in my year and a half of anaylasis, I have come to think that I want a different God. Or a different kind of God. If this is selfish, let me know. But I'll explain:
I heard a segment on a Christian radio show about a year ago on which there was a guest speaker. She was the wife of a very prominent pastor of a very large mega-church here in Houston. There was a caller asking her this: "Why have I not found a spouse, even when I have waited patiently on God and He knows that is the desire of my heart. All of my friends are married; why am I not married?"
And the guest said this: "You know, God's not going to give to one and not give to another."
And I became angry. I thought, how wrong. How misleading. When I have friends who desperately want children and will never be able to have them. When I see people work hard and are good and loving parents and lose their jobs. When I see dear, loving men and women who may never, ever get married. When I see loved ones battle cancer and watch as some are cured and some are not. And on and on . . . I thought of the guest speaker, "How dare she!"
I heard a pastor not long after hearing that guest speaker say this to His congregation: "God will not give you more than you can handle."
And I thought, yes He will. Oh, yes, He will. Has the man never read the book of Job? Has he never dealt with real situations and real people? I thought that perhaps a better way to word it would be, God won't give you more than HE can handle, but saying it the other way around gives people nothing more than a way to fall into guilt when they can't handle it.
I've gone in a direction with this post that I hadn't intended. Let me try to get back.
The kind of God I want isn't the pretty pedastal God. I want the God that doesn't have to have answers for what He does or does not do, and that doesn't promise health and wealth. I want the God who doesn't have the memory span of a human, who doesn't forget tsunamis and earthquakes. I want the God who is getting dirty as he lays beneath tons of rubble with people who are dying horrible deaths due to natural disasters. I want the God whose heart is broken because there are real people dying of torture and disease and hunger; who is close to small children who have no one to be close to them. I want a God who doesn't have to dress up for church or walk an aisle. I want a God who will get dirty in the midst of tragedy, instead of sitting on the sidelines patting your head.
I want a God who is with someone, really in the midst of someone, whose pain is so great that they start to self-destruct. I want to know what that means, that God is with you. I want a God whose love is more than something that sounds good in a sermon or on a greeting card, whose love is difficult and comforting and understanding and sobbing and giving. I want a God who can make sense of this whole big painful world.
Am I asking too much?
God, to me, does not have to be pretty. He can do the hard stuff. He can go beyond a feeling and become a fact. He can get in my face. In fact, I'd prefer that. The God I want really talks, and is really heard. And He doesn't need code words. He can be known. Where is that God? Who is He? Where do I find Him?
I do not want God to be sterile. I don't want to have to tiptoe around Him or have to be careful around Him. I want Him to be dangerous. I want Him to be real.
And for the record, I also really like church camp. :o)
As I blog, I am constantly aware that I might be offending someone, and I don't want to offend people. However, I don't want to spend an entire paragraph apologizing and qualifying. Anyone that knows me well (which is pretty much anyone who reads this blog) knows my history, so I am not going to go into a diatribe of "don't get me wrong."
I have spent the past year and a half analyzing (without even really knowing that that is what I was doing) all that I have ever thought or believed about God and the church. And I am sure that I have always known that the God I met and came to know cries with you, hurts with you, provides for you. The God with whom I formed a relationship was close to you when you were in pain.
But I am not sure that He saves parking spots for you or gives you raises at work. Do you know what I mean?
And in my year and a half of anaylasis, I have come to think that I want a different God. Or a different kind of God. If this is selfish, let me know. But I'll explain:
I heard a segment on a Christian radio show about a year ago on which there was a guest speaker. She was the wife of a very prominent pastor of a very large mega-church here in Houston. There was a caller asking her this: "Why have I not found a spouse, even when I have waited patiently on God and He knows that is the desire of my heart. All of my friends are married; why am I not married?"
And the guest said this: "You know, God's not going to give to one and not give to another."
And I became angry. I thought, how wrong. How misleading. When I have friends who desperately want children and will never be able to have them. When I see people work hard and are good and loving parents and lose their jobs. When I see dear, loving men and women who may never, ever get married. When I see loved ones battle cancer and watch as some are cured and some are not. And on and on . . . I thought of the guest speaker, "How dare she!"
I heard a pastor not long after hearing that guest speaker say this to His congregation: "God will not give you more than you can handle."
And I thought, yes He will. Oh, yes, He will. Has the man never read the book of Job? Has he never dealt with real situations and real people? I thought that perhaps a better way to word it would be, God won't give you more than HE can handle, but saying it the other way around gives people nothing more than a way to fall into guilt when they can't handle it.
I've gone in a direction with this post that I hadn't intended. Let me try to get back.
The kind of God I want isn't the pretty pedastal God. I want the God that doesn't have to have answers for what He does or does not do, and that doesn't promise health and wealth. I want the God who doesn't have the memory span of a human, who doesn't forget tsunamis and earthquakes. I want the God who is getting dirty as he lays beneath tons of rubble with people who are dying horrible deaths due to natural disasters. I want the God whose heart is broken because there are real people dying of torture and disease and hunger; who is close to small children who have no one to be close to them. I want a God who doesn't have to dress up for church or walk an aisle. I want a God who will get dirty in the midst of tragedy, instead of sitting on the sidelines patting your head.
I want a God who is with someone, really in the midst of someone, whose pain is so great that they start to self-destruct. I want to know what that means, that God is with you. I want a God whose love is more than something that sounds good in a sermon or on a greeting card, whose love is difficult and comforting and understanding and sobbing and giving. I want a God who can make sense of this whole big painful world.
Am I asking too much?
God, to me, does not have to be pretty. He can do the hard stuff. He can go beyond a feeling and become a fact. He can get in my face. In fact, I'd prefer that. The God I want really talks, and is really heard. And He doesn't need code words. He can be known. Where is that God? Who is He? Where do I find Him?
I do not want God to be sterile. I don't want to have to tiptoe around Him or have to be careful around Him. I want Him to be dangerous. I want Him to be real.
And for the record, I also really like church camp. :o)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Friday, December 04, 2009
It Rarely Happens . . .
. . . that we see the white stuff in Houston, but we are seeing it today! And getting out of school early for it too! Thank you, weather!Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Old Pictures
Charlie with Aunt Elizabeth, this summer.
Exhausted kids after a day at the beach this summer.
Molly having so much fun at the park!
Aaron and me being all cuddly!
Aaron cracking his naked self up in the mirror!
Goofy baby in the tub!!!!Sunday, November 29, 2009
Online - truly the way to go.
Thanksgiving night, midnight. Scott and I were still up. He had been sleeping all day and was feeling pretty peppy thanks to some hydrocodone. I mentioned that I might like to go to Toys-R-Us. Just to see. The kids were asleep, and Scott assured me that if something happened, he would call me straightaway. (Since he can't lift more than ten pounds for a month (due to the surgery) and since we live like five minutes from Toys-R-Us.)
Scott said, "Well, I guess everybody needs to experience it just once."
I decided to go to Wal-Mart first. You know, to let the line at Toys-R-Us subside a bit. Not that I actually believed that there would be massive amounts of people at Toys-R-Us at midnight. Surey not!
Scott said, "Oh, yes, there will."
I got to Wal-Mart and it was virtually vacant. I was there for about half an hour, and by the time I left, there were freight calls over the intercom. Trucks were being unloaded at the speed of light. Aisles were flooding with people. I had to get out of there!
On to Toys-R-Us.
First of all, I had to park across the street. Cars were parked in the grass, and I flatly refused to park in the grass at Toys-R-Us. No way. I'll walk across the street like a civilized human being, thank you.
There is a Red Lobster just across the parking lot from Toys-R-Us. I was confused by the people lining the front of Red Lobster. Was there a Midnight Lobster Madness or something? Yet, as I found my way to the front of the store and tried to find the end of the line, I understood the reason for the line in front of Red Lobster. It was the continuation of the line for Toys-R-Us, a line that curved all the way down the side of the store, looped around the back of the parking lot, and ended at Red Lobster. I stood and looked in shock at the scene around me: a crowd of people already in Toys-R-Us; store associates standing at the door of Toys-R-Us, craning their necks to get better views of the crowd in the store and the crowd ourside; store associates cruising the crowds and talking on walkee-talkees; thousands, maybe millions of people waiting quite calmly to get into the store, as if it is just an everyday occurance to wait hours and hours in chilly weather at midnight to get into Toys-R-Us. They were chatting on cell phones, listening to ipods, and eating fast food.
How naive I was about the whole Black Friday thing! People take this very seriously, folks!
I left. I just couldn't do it.
I got home and got online immediately. You know what? The doorbuster deals were also available onine, and most of them with free shipping! I ended up avoiding the crowds and found everything I wanted online, with a little help from an offer I couldn't refuse.
By the way, if you have Craigslist available to you, use it. We (are probably horrible parents because we do this) get used stuff all the time from Craigslist. The stuff is always in great shape, hardly used, and cheap!!!! I think it is better than ebay, because you just go pick the stuff up, you get to look at it first to see if you really want it, and you don't have to pay shipping. (I am getting some Thomas trains thanks to Craigslist). A lot of times people are just giving stuff away, too. Just saying. Craigslist is awesome.
Two stores I didn't abandon (besides Wal-Mart, just to kill time): Dollar General and Bath and Body Works. Dollar General because they really do have great stuff for really cheap, and Bath and Body Works because I am addicted to that place and fully convinced that all of my girlfriends are equally addicted!
Happy (cheap!) shopping!!!!!
Scott said, "Well, I guess everybody needs to experience it just once."
I decided to go to Wal-Mart first. You know, to let the line at Toys-R-Us subside a bit. Not that I actually believed that there would be massive amounts of people at Toys-R-Us at midnight. Surey not!
Scott said, "Oh, yes, there will."
I got to Wal-Mart and it was virtually vacant. I was there for about half an hour, and by the time I left, there were freight calls over the intercom. Trucks were being unloaded at the speed of light. Aisles were flooding with people. I had to get out of there!
On to Toys-R-Us.
First of all, I had to park across the street. Cars were parked in the grass, and I flatly refused to park in the grass at Toys-R-Us. No way. I'll walk across the street like a civilized human being, thank you.
There is a Red Lobster just across the parking lot from Toys-R-Us. I was confused by the people lining the front of Red Lobster. Was there a Midnight Lobster Madness or something? Yet, as I found my way to the front of the store and tried to find the end of the line, I understood the reason for the line in front of Red Lobster. It was the continuation of the line for Toys-R-Us, a line that curved all the way down the side of the store, looped around the back of the parking lot, and ended at Red Lobster. I stood and looked in shock at the scene around me: a crowd of people already in Toys-R-Us; store associates standing at the door of Toys-R-Us, craning their necks to get better views of the crowd in the store and the crowd ourside; store associates cruising the crowds and talking on walkee-talkees; thousands, maybe millions of people waiting quite calmly to get into the store, as if it is just an everyday occurance to wait hours and hours in chilly weather at midnight to get into Toys-R-Us. They were chatting on cell phones, listening to ipods, and eating fast food.
How naive I was about the whole Black Friday thing! People take this very seriously, folks!
I left. I just couldn't do it.
I got home and got online immediately. You know what? The doorbuster deals were also available onine, and most of them with free shipping! I ended up avoiding the crowds and found everything I wanted online, with a little help from an offer I couldn't refuse.
By the way, if you have Craigslist available to you, use it. We (are probably horrible parents because we do this) get used stuff all the time from Craigslist. The stuff is always in great shape, hardly used, and cheap!!!! I think it is better than ebay, because you just go pick the stuff up, you get to look at it first to see if you really want it, and you don't have to pay shipping. (I am getting some Thomas trains thanks to Craigslist). A lot of times people are just giving stuff away, too. Just saying. Craigslist is awesome.
Two stores I didn't abandon (besides Wal-Mart, just to kill time): Dollar General and Bath and Body Works. Dollar General because they really do have great stuff for really cheap, and Bath and Body Works because I am addicted to that place and fully convinced that all of my girlfriends are equally addicted!
Happy (cheap!) shopping!!!!!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Beautiful Pain
I have this amazing friend from college, Brandi Haile. She is an awesome musician and she wrote a song that I just love called "Galaxy of Pieces." I was listening to that song (on my new ipod) on my way home from school today, and I love these lyrics:
And I had this dream that you were shattered / and there were pieces of you scattered all around on the ground / so many pretty pieces that I found / And I knew that I could never / glue you back together / but if I could / I was sure you would / be the prettiest stained-glass window pane / I'd ever seen / Prettiest pain I'd ever seen."
Notice the change from "pane" to "pain," which was something I noticed only today. And I started to wonder how pain could be beautiful, if it could be beautiful. The more I thought about it, the more true it became, that there can be beauty in pain.
Scripture says it quite clearly, that God will "provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair . . ." (Isaiah 61:3)
It is true that some of the most beautiful people I have known have been those who have gone through great amounts of pain and suffering. The people I am thinking of have endured things I can't imagine. And, even so, maybe because of . . . they are wise, giving, hopeful; they are open, without judgment; they have shining faces and lovely, honest smiles.
So maybe it is that beauty comes out of the pain, as the verse from Isaiah suggests. That pain, mourning, and despair can be traded for a crown of beauty, the oil of gladness, a garment of praise.
I hope so. I hope so.
Brandi's song spoke to me today in a way it never had. I love the image of the person who can never really be the same again after being shattered by pain, but becoming something brilliant and even more beautiful than before.
I have told many people that I am not ready to go on some big journey with God yet, and I'm certainly still not. I have known for quite some time that there will never be a going "back" for me, but maybe I'm seeing some new hope that the going forward will be better than I thought, maybe less scary; that the "becoming" will be worth it, and that maybe I can become something beautiful (which is way more than I ever thought possible) after all.
And I had this dream that you were shattered / and there were pieces of you scattered all around on the ground / so many pretty pieces that I found / And I knew that I could never / glue you back together / but if I could / I was sure you would / be the prettiest stained-glass window pane / I'd ever seen / Prettiest pain I'd ever seen."
Notice the change from "pane" to "pain," which was something I noticed only today. And I started to wonder how pain could be beautiful, if it could be beautiful. The more I thought about it, the more true it became, that there can be beauty in pain.
Scripture says it quite clearly, that God will "provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair . . ." (Isaiah 61:3)
It is true that some of the most beautiful people I have known have been those who have gone through great amounts of pain and suffering. The people I am thinking of have endured things I can't imagine. And, even so, maybe because of . . . they are wise, giving, hopeful; they are open, without judgment; they have shining faces and lovely, honest smiles.
So maybe it is that beauty comes out of the pain, as the verse from Isaiah suggests. That pain, mourning, and despair can be traded for a crown of beauty, the oil of gladness, a garment of praise.
I hope so. I hope so.
Brandi's song spoke to me today in a way it never had. I love the image of the person who can never really be the same again after being shattered by pain, but becoming something brilliant and even more beautiful than before.
I have told many people that I am not ready to go on some big journey with God yet, and I'm certainly still not. I have known for quite some time that there will never be a going "back" for me, but maybe I'm seeing some new hope that the going forward will be better than I thought, maybe less scary; that the "becoming" will be worth it, and that maybe I can become something beautiful (which is way more than I ever thought possible) after all.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Halloween
Eliza was a wizard
Molly was a princess
Aaron was a ninjaWe went to the Fall Festival at a nearby church, as has been our tradition for the past few years. I thought it was way more subdued this year; not nearly as crowded as normal. It was really relaxing and nice. Scott stayed home with Charlie. We are horrible people. We don't dress up anyone under the age of two in this house! No, really, Scott's back was killing him and I didn't feel like chasing after four kids all by myself, one of whom cannot speak and runs after anything he sees with no logic or warning. So they stayed home and watched something scary. The three big kids were wonderful and had the best time ever.
(P.S. Scott has his back surgery in two weeks so he will finally get some relief. Yay! Sorry, I know that is completely unrelated to Halloween.)
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
First Five
I got the coolest First Five cards from Peanut today!
Thank you, Peanut! I love them!
I am planning to work on my First Five stuff over Thanksgiving Break. It hasn't been a year since I posted my First Five yet, has it????
Thank you, Peanut! I love them!
I am planning to work on my First Five stuff over Thanksgiving Break. It hasn't been a year since I posted my First Five yet, has it????
Monday, November 02, 2009
To tell you the truth . . .
. . . this whole looking for a new church home thing is really getting to me.
We like Gloria Dei, but it pretty far away.
We visited a church right beside our house yesterday. It is one we have visited before. It would be convenient, but Scott and I both know it is not what we're looking for.
I don't want to go to church because I feel guilty for not going. I don't want to go just because it is good for the kids.
I want a community. I don't want to be anonymous.
So I have been asking myself a lot, what is church? What is its function in society? What is it supposed to look like? What is it supposed to be? Do you have to wear dresses? How much of it is cultural? How much of it is tradition? Is there a balance? Who is the church? How is the church supposed to act? Do you have to meet in a big building? Does the church have to have twelve really good programs?
All of these questions, because I do not want to trade one church experience for another, do you know what I mean?
I miss Strawberry Community Church and First Baptist Church of Winterset so much. I miss those churches because we were a family. I miss those churches because the people were so real. I am longing for real relationships right now, and not for a community full of busy people. I know I am whining and I sound very judgmental. Sorry. I just remember the authenticity of those places, and I miss it.
That's enough for now.
We like Gloria Dei, but it pretty far away.
We visited a church right beside our house yesterday. It is one we have visited before. It would be convenient, but Scott and I both know it is not what we're looking for.
I don't want to go to church because I feel guilty for not going. I don't want to go just because it is good for the kids.
I want a community. I don't want to be anonymous.
So I have been asking myself a lot, what is church? What is its function in society? What is it supposed to look like? What is it supposed to be? Do you have to wear dresses? How much of it is cultural? How much of it is tradition? Is there a balance? Who is the church? How is the church supposed to act? Do you have to meet in a big building? Does the church have to have twelve really good programs?
All of these questions, because I do not want to trade one church experience for another, do you know what I mean?
I miss Strawberry Community Church and First Baptist Church of Winterset so much. I miss those churches because we were a family. I miss those churches because the people were so real. I am longing for real relationships right now, and not for a community full of busy people. I know I am whining and I sound very judgmental. Sorry. I just remember the authenticity of those places, and I miss it.
That's enough for now.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
One of my faves . . .
OK, I cannot look at this site without my mouth watering. I'm not kidding. I get chills. It's a sad testament to the kind of person I am. I want to be buried in piles of earrings.
Look for yourself. Just remember to come up for air.
Look for yourself. Just remember to come up for air.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Another Cryptic Little Story For Your Enjoyment
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a teacher who loved her students very much. The teacher knew, as all teachers do, that sometimes teachers have to make tough decisions regarding their students. The loving teacher knew that these hard decisions might make others feel less than happy.
One day, the teacher made one of those decisions. The teacher knew it was the right thing to do, but sure enough, someone felt unhappy about it. So the teacher had to deal with that, and things were upsetting for awhile. The teacher wished it would just all go away. But the teacher also knew that the hard thing was the right thing.
Now the teacher is kind of sad and taking a lot of tylenol for all the pain caused by tension in her neck and head. She is also using the Bed Buddy a lot, on her neck. The teacher will be happy to elaborate on the story in a private e-mail. The teacher loves all of her devoted fans who read her blog.
One day, the teacher made one of those decisions. The teacher knew it was the right thing to do, but sure enough, someone felt unhappy about it. So the teacher had to deal with that, and things were upsetting for awhile. The teacher wished it would just all go away. But the teacher also knew that the hard thing was the right thing.
Now the teacher is kind of sad and taking a lot of tylenol for all the pain caused by tension in her neck and head. She is also using the Bed Buddy a lot, on her neck. The teacher will be happy to elaborate on the story in a private e-mail. The teacher loves all of her devoted fans who read her blog.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Gloria Dei
We visited Gloria Dei Lutheran Church in Houston yesterday. It is right across from NASA! Pretty exciting. Even more exciting was the evidence all throughout the church and its members that they do what they believe. There were several mission trips in the works, and one that was just completed. The church places emphasis on BEING church to the surrounding community. The worship was amazing. The message was full of Truth. The members get together outside of the four walls on a regular basis. I'm not saying our search is over, but this is definitely the kind of church we are looking for.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Books
What is it about books? I love them.
Tonight we had a family outing tonight to the mall. We chose the mall that has the huge Barnes & Noble in it. Scott and I get 20% off there because we are teachers. Plus, it is just an awesome bookstore.
I spent most of my time in the children's section with the three big kids. I wanted all of the books. Just being surrounded by them made me happy. Curious George, Where the Wild Things Are, The Little House, Junie B. Jones, Harry Potter, Amelia Bedilia, Mrs. Nelson is Missing . . .
Scott had Charlie in the stroller while I stayed with the big kids and read with them. It was so much fun, and by that hour, we were pretty much the only ones in the children's area. Eliza kept running over to look at her favorites; Molly liked the princess books; Aaron wanted tractor books. I was happy to read with them while Scott picked out the Donald Miller books that I wanted.
I finally broke down and bought Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have read it about a thousand times, and every time I do, I find something new in it. I also picked up Searching for God Knows What (also by Donald Miller). Scott found his treasures in the bargain book section. The kids each got a book, too, plus a couple of extras that I just had to get to add to their collections (Curious George Goes to the Chocolate Factory and The Velveteen Rabbit).
That's all. I just love looking at all those books. I love reading through them. I love that my kids love them. I could stay there for hours and hours and hours . . . but the store closes at 10:00 and we were all pretty tuckered out by that time. So we weeded through all the books that we had picked up and had to set some aside for later, otherwise we would have dropped about a hundred bucks! But it gives us something to look forward to for our next trip to the bookstore.
Tonight we had a family outing tonight to the mall. We chose the mall that has the huge Barnes & Noble in it. Scott and I get 20% off there because we are teachers. Plus, it is just an awesome bookstore.
I spent most of my time in the children's section with the three big kids. I wanted all of the books. Just being surrounded by them made me happy. Curious George, Where the Wild Things Are, The Little House, Junie B. Jones, Harry Potter, Amelia Bedilia, Mrs. Nelson is Missing . . .
Scott had Charlie in the stroller while I stayed with the big kids and read with them. It was so much fun, and by that hour, we were pretty much the only ones in the children's area. Eliza kept running over to look at her favorites; Molly liked the princess books; Aaron wanted tractor books. I was happy to read with them while Scott picked out the Donald Miller books that I wanted.
I finally broke down and bought Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have read it about a thousand times, and every time I do, I find something new in it. I also picked up Searching for God Knows What (also by Donald Miller). Scott found his treasures in the bargain book section. The kids each got a book, too, plus a couple of extras that I just had to get to add to their collections (Curious George Goes to the Chocolate Factory and The Velveteen Rabbit).
That's all. I just love looking at all those books. I love reading through them. I love that my kids love them. I could stay there for hours and hours and hours . . . but the store closes at 10:00 and we were all pretty tuckered out by that time. So we weeded through all the books that we had picked up and had to set some aside for later, otherwise we would have dropped about a hundred bucks! But it gives us something to look forward to for our next trip to the bookstore.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Looking
Our family is in the process of looking for a new church home. I have never thought of how weird that sounds until recently. To be "shopping" for a church; to be "looking" for one as though you have lost something. To weigh pros and cons as though buying a new car or something.
We joined our previous church mainly because I had become involved in helping with the small group ministry. I felt that if I were going to be involved, then I should be a member. This happened just shortly after we moved to the area. We hadn't visited many churches before we settled, either.
Now it just feels so strange. The only reason I have ever left churches in the past was because I moved or got a job at a church. Now it is that we have not left the community, but have left a church. Though I know it isn't, it feels somehow wrong or something. But we are certain of our decision and so we keep "looking."
Our church in Iowa was amazing. So full of worship and so mission-minded. It had such a heart for the surrounding community, and the people were not afraid to get their hands dirty. I was amazed at how the church reached out to everyone. The ministers and the members would drive half an hour or more to visit other members. (The church was surrounded by rural communities and lots and lots of corn). There were fellowships of some kind just about weekly. We felt like family with this church right away.
Same with the church before that. So community-minded, mission-sending, and it felt like family. Rewind to California. I was so close to my church family there, and that church was constantly in the community, worshipping God, and fellowshipping with one another.
None of the above churches were perfect. But we are not looking for a perfect church. We are looking for a church that consistently: worships (has a heart for worship), reaches out to the community, does and supports missions, and feels like family (gets together often and checks on one another). We are not looking for a particular denomination, though we do have certain doctrines that we adhere to and we want to attend a church that adheres to the same ones. We weren't Baptist in Iowa (sh, don't tell), but after I found out that God isn't Baptist (don't tell that either - there are some Baptists who still don't know), I figured it might be OK.
We are becoming discouraged, and especially having no family here, it is hard to be in "church limbo." We still have strong friendships to people from our other church, but not having weekly worship with a church family can just make you feel so empty. So, please pray for us as we search. We'll keep you posted.
We joined our previous church mainly because I had become involved in helping with the small group ministry. I felt that if I were going to be involved, then I should be a member. This happened just shortly after we moved to the area. We hadn't visited many churches before we settled, either.
Now it just feels so strange. The only reason I have ever left churches in the past was because I moved or got a job at a church. Now it is that we have not left the community, but have left a church. Though I know it isn't, it feels somehow wrong or something. But we are certain of our decision and so we keep "looking."
Our church in Iowa was amazing. So full of worship and so mission-minded. It had such a heart for the surrounding community, and the people were not afraid to get their hands dirty. I was amazed at how the church reached out to everyone. The ministers and the members would drive half an hour or more to visit other members. (The church was surrounded by rural communities and lots and lots of corn). There were fellowships of some kind just about weekly. We felt like family with this church right away.
Same with the church before that. So community-minded, mission-sending, and it felt like family. Rewind to California. I was so close to my church family there, and that church was constantly in the community, worshipping God, and fellowshipping with one another.
None of the above churches were perfect. But we are not looking for a perfect church. We are looking for a church that consistently: worships (has a heart for worship), reaches out to the community, does and supports missions, and feels like family (gets together often and checks on one another). We are not looking for a particular denomination, though we do have certain doctrines that we adhere to and we want to attend a church that adheres to the same ones. We weren't Baptist in Iowa (sh, don't tell), but after I found out that God isn't Baptist (don't tell that either - there are some Baptists who still don't know), I figured it might be OK.
We are becoming discouraged, and especially having no family here, it is hard to be in "church limbo." We still have strong friendships to people from our other church, but not having weekly worship with a church family can just make you feel so empty. So, please pray for us as we search. We'll keep you posted.
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