Anthony

Today is my brother's, Anthony's, birthday. He would have been 39 today. He died just about a month after his 32nd birthday in a tragic vehicle accident.

There are several things that I want to share, so hang with me. I only wish I had pictures. I have snapshots of Anthony, but don't have a scanner. So my memories, and yours if you had the pleasure to meet Anthony, will have to suffice.

Anthony was nine years old when I was born. His nature wasn't as laid-back as my brother's, Matt's, but we got along anyway. Anthony was boistrous, generous, loved by everyone, and my protector. He loved to laugh and to make other people laugh. He was certainly the life of the party no matter where he went. When he was about 21 or 22, he joined the US Navy and truly did travel the world.

Anthony was generous to a fault. So many memories of him are full of him giving or doing for others. He would give everyone in the family grand and impractical gifts. The second to last time that I saw him, he had come with my parents to visit me at college. We were poor college kids, and he bought us groceries, telling me, "Get what you need." When I saw the total at checkout, I was uncertain, but Anthony paid without blinking an eye. Then he asked me what kind of furniture I wanted, took me and my (then) husband to the furniture store, and helped us pick it out. He later took my parents on a wonderful vacation to Washington, D.C.

At the visitation just before the funeral, I was standing with a group of Anthony's friends that had come from very far away to Benton, Arkansas, to bury their friend. I was complaining (I never did like visitations) that I didn't want people to remember Anthony this way. He didn't look like himself. I was upset. One of Anthony's ship-mates said, "When I remember Anthony, I will remember him laughing and I will remember his generosity." and his friends began to tell stories of Anthony's giving nature.

My family and I have often gotten a kick out of looking through Anthony's pictures. Especially those of his Halloween costumes. My favorites include the picture of him dressed as a woman and dressed as a Christmas tree. He did make an attractive woman, but said he got hit on by some drunk men anyway. In the Christmas tree picture, Anthony is standing on a table, trying to look as Christmas-tree like as possible, dressed in a green shirt and pants, green wig, and with lights strung around his whole body.

Anthony got to spend some time with his oldest nephew, Matt's son, Trevor. Trevor was about 15 months old when he met his Uncle Anthony. We've got pictures of tall Anthony and short, pudgy Trevor, walking through my mom and dad's yard, hand-in-hand. Anthony wanted to take Trevor out to play and my mom asked if he wanted any help. He turned to her and said, "It's ok, Mom; I got this." He loved children and was a great friend to many of his friends' kids. I was very sad that he never got to see Chicken Nugget. He was going to come home in Feb. of 2000 to celebrate Mom's and Trevor's birthday and to get to meet CN. She was six months old when he died. My dad said to me, the week of the funeral, "I think he has seen her." I don't know about how life beyond the veil of this earth works; God is God and can do as He wishes. I'd like to think Anthony has been able to rejoice as another neice and nephew have been born. It's one of my greatest sorrows that he never got to spend time with them.

My family recieved crates and crates of Anthony's things after he died. One day, my mom told me that Daddy found a small pad of paper that was Anthony's when he was a child. Tears welled up in my dad's eyes as he showed it to my mom; it said, "When I grow up, I am going to go all over the world and see the world." There's a man who lived his dream. He was living in Italy when he died. I have kept every post card I have ever gotten from him - Paris, Japan, Canada . . . to name just a few.

I would like to share some of two letters he wrote to me. Anthony wrote me often and always sent birthday cards and gifts.

"18 MAR 98
"Hear you are doing well in school, that is great keep up the good work. I went to Yokosuka, Japan. I visited a Canadian friend of mine who teaches English there. She allowed me the privelage of teaching an English class to a Japanese jr. high school. It was interesting because of my accent. We also went to a house party for a Japanese couple she knows. There were people from seven different countries there. It was a great cultural event. It also snowed 6" while I was there. I went to Tokyo Disneyland. Pretty much like the one in the States. We are on our way to Thailand. I have never been there before . . . Well, have fun this summer. Don't spoil your new nephew too much. See you in the fall."

His last letter to me, postmarked Sept. 17, 1999, just before his 32nd birthday:
"Hope you guys and crumb-grabber are doing well. I just left Toulon and am on my way to Agosta Bay on the island of Sicily. . . We (my ship) were in Toulon, France for two weeks working on another US ship that was in dry dock. It was very hard for some people, but not for my shop. Well I guess school is back in full swing. Hope you are doing well in that also. I start Italian II when we get back to La Maddalena on the 9th of Sept. I probably will not come home for the holidays and wait to come home in February for a month. That way I can be home form mom's birthday and Trevor's. Well not much else so I'll say Ci Vediano; which means until
later . . . take care of the crumb grabber (CN). Oh ya, Amy have you caught back up with your school work? I know that was a nightmare. . . write me."

As sad an event, Anthony's funeral and the events surrounding it still hold good memories. So many friends of ours and Anthony's came from all over. One of his shipmates even traveled from Italy, as well as his captain. So many people that had never heard the word of God got to hear it that week; my dad even gave the Navy Captain a Bible and encouraged him to read the book of Romans.

After the funeral, Captain Imholt had this to say in a correspondence and e-mail he sent to many people:

dated Nov. 15, 1999:
"Ladies and Gentlemen,
"I am not an eloquent writer nor am I a professor of moral truths and nationalism. But I wanted to share a recent experience I had.
"I recently had the distinct (albeit sad), honor of escorting a fallen shipmate's remains to his family and home. During the mission I had a lot of time to reflect on my career in the Navy and the time I have spent working with him and other shipmates like him in the past. I struggled with many emotional issues stemming from this duty. I composed and discarded several different things I thought I would say to the family of my shipmate when we arrived. In the end I simply spoke from my heart, and expressed the profound sadness his passing had left us feeling.
"It was during my stay in his hometown and with his family that I cam to realize that there is more to America that my own family and my hometown. You see, I had become myopic in my view of why and who we are serving in the military. This beautiful small American town and his wonderful family and friends have become an indelible part of my life experience. I have returned with a renewed sense of pride in service to our nation. When I presneted Petty Officer Magby's mother with the flag, that had moments before draped her son's casket, the symbolism of that event overwhelmed me. How many of us salute our country's national ensign, because we are told or reminded to do so. The cost to our nation for the right to raise this symbol is immeasurable.
"Families like the Magbys and towns like Benton and Bauxite Arkansas are why I am here. The American way and all the hometowns and families, the big cities and wide open spaces, the right to pursue happiness. This is what we are preserving. If that means some corrupt politicians and criminals get a free ride and happy hunting grounds, so be it. We can work on that another day. For today I am thankful that my family and friends, the Magbys and millions of other Americans know we are out here for them.
"The family of our fallen shipmate thanked me and the Navy for all we have done, I could only reply, 'it was an honor.' "

I do not know what has happened to Andrew A. Imholt. I am humbled by the impact that the event of my brother's passing, and the example he saw in my family, our friends, and our hometown had on him.

Dean E. Lake, a coworker of Anthony's, wrote to us with this to say:
"His ability to work with others and his enthusiasm were key to molding our workcenter into one.
"Petty Officer Magby was assigned as an electrical planner. Planners are assigned because they are leading technicians in their field. Petty Officer Magby's sonar and electricl troubleshooting skill was second to none. He knew submarines like the back of his hand and was respected by all for his technical knowledge. His job was to control maintenance in his firle providing technical guidance or to conduct technical research when required. This job requires the use of many computer software programs and coordination and communication with various shipyards in the United States. Often you are molding young sailors into leaders of the future. He was in training to take my posision as the Leading Electrician . . . He completed all his qualifications well ahead of his peers.
"Petty Officer Magby was also busy outside working hours. He was studying and using Italian so he could maximize the opportunity being stationed here in La Maddalena. He was also actively pursuing his Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist insignia so he could train others and lead by example.
"I spent some liberty time with Anthony. . . He never had trouble finding somebody to accompany him on liberty. He had many friends . . . because he had so many interests and just liked company. He was generous and polite and just great fun."

Because I collect seashells, Anthony and a friend gathered some from the seashore of Italy for me. His friend brought them to me at the funeral.

There are so many reasons to be proud of Anthony and to miss him. But there's no reason for regrets. We always said, "I love you," and always laughed and had wonderful experiences around Anthony. I'm so grateful for that. I tell his neices and nephews about him often.

photos above: USS Emory S Land on the left and USS Asheville on the right. The Asheville was Anthony's first submarine, where he worked as a sonar tech. The Emory S Land was a sub tender on which Anthony worked. Another one of Anthony's achievements was his becoming a certified Navy diver; this allowed him to tend to the outside of the submarine, etc.