"Miss" covers a multitutde of suffixes . . .

Is it Miss, Ms., or Mrs? Why, yes, it is!

Of our many lovely and traditional idiosyncrasies Down South, one of my favorites has to be our use of the English language. We're always "fixin' tuh" go somewhere; perhaps it's down to the branch (or perhaps crick) to do some fishin'. We can add syllables to words that have only one. We always wonder what "y'all" are doing. We love our Nee-Naws and Pee-Paws. We couldn't pronounce a short e sound to save our lives. And our drawl makes all those words sound as drippingly sweet as a buttermilk biscuit slathered in local honey.

But one "thang" I cannot figure out is how we got to calling all the Mrs.es in our lives, Miss! I grew up doing it. Mrs. Smith was called "Miss Smith." Never in my wildest pronuciation would I have called anyone "Missus." That would sound awkard, almost foolish! No one I knew did that. Not my mom or her mom, and I never, ever heard anyone call my mother "Missus." Nope, "Miss" was for everybody, despite the suffix. I never really thought it was strange.

Until I moved to other parts of the country. On the West Coast and in the Midwest, my Miss-calling was very out-of-place, and I got surprisingly used to calling every married woman "Missus;" at least, those with whom I was not on a first-name basis. I taught my children to say, "Missus." After all, that is how "Mrs." is pronounced!

Well, now I've been back Down South for three years, and I still say, "Missus" for all those Mrs.es that I know. And I'm bit taken aback when I am substitute teaching in a class for Mrs. Barnes, and I pronounce the "Mrs." in the correct manner, and I hear snickering. But I have to think back to a time when I found that pronunciation foreign as well. And there's not a Mrs. in the South that doesn't mind being called "Miss," so, I'll just have to get back into the groove of the Southern way of addressing all women.

So, Ms., Mrs., or Miss? Yes, you are! And so am I. As long as we're in the South, that is!