The Hat and the Dance

At work, we just got in a bunch of great big Easter hats - and not the kind for litte girls. These are huge, women-sized hats. And they're big. And did I mention that they are gigantic? They're all colors, too - black, white, yellow, bright pink, blue, purple, yellow . . . oh, yeah, and they are large. And pretty obnoxious. I like to put one on when no one is looking. Then, when I get called to the customer service desk, I can saunter my way up to the front and surprise everyone with what I'm wearing.

I also like to dance a lot in the store. I just can't help it. Our piped-in muzak plays such catchy tunes, and I'm such a great dancer.

Last night, just before closing, I noticed that someone had left one of those hats in the children's department. Lucky for me, it matched my black-and-white ensemble to a t, so I had to put it on. When the supervisor called me over and saw me in the hat, she told me how fetching I looked in it.

But when I walked up front, still wearing it, Mrs. Tangerine, a wonderful lady from the Islands, burst out laughing.

"Where's that Polaroid!" she said, "Girl . . ."

And then I started dancing and strutting towards her, and she laughed harder.

"Girl," she said, "You are so WHITE!"

I could not imagine what she meant by that. I just kept on dancing. I'm a very good dancer.

Ms. Pecan Praline Cookie just told me, "Girl, you know you are crazy . . ."

And Ms. Pepperoni Pizza told me that the hat was not my color, that I needed a black one, because it would match better. I found one with some gigantic flowers, bows, and feathers, and what do you know! She was right. So I wore that one for the rest of the night.

Ms. Peach Smoothie said to my supervisor, "I think we all need to wear hats like that. I think we'd get our work done a lot faster."

I just danced away back to my department and really enjoyed myself while I worked. If only there WERE some Polaroids, or better yet, digitals, that could have captured that moment. I'm sorry I'll have to leave the whole scene to all of your imaginations.