One Big Mess

Here's the thing about life: we need one another.

It's risky to get involved with anyone. Friendships require a jumping-off point. If I get involved with you, and really invest in your life, I have to know that at some point you are going to need me.

But here's the trade off: I will need you, too.

Need. Not just want. I have already chosen you. I already want to be with you. But we are human, with all our human emotions and trappings and downfalls. One day, someday, something in your life or my life is going to get messy. It will be a mess that you or I can't clean up on our own. It will be a moment that brings tears and weakness. It will be a situation that, without each other to lean on, one or the other of us will fall apart and fall out of life.

There was a time in my life when I was very proud. I hated asking for help. Admitting that I needed help meant that I was weak. It breaks down so much pride to say to a friend, "We have to go from you enjoying me to you having to help me." What if people don't like me after they help me? What if they see how vulnerable I am? What if they think I am a fraud, now that they know I cannot always be strong?

Friends won't care. A friend still invites me over even after I have exhausted the world with my story and my tears, and will let me exhaust the world some more at their kitchen table. A friend will strengthen with love and believe in me without judgment.

We were not meant to walk alone. We don't have to have the same personalities or opinions, but we do have the common denominator of need for one another. We need community. And in this big ol' mess called life, I think that is beautiful. I hope to always need and be needed.