More Saturday Morning Pictures

When Noodle saw I was taking pictures, she also had to ham it up. She said, "Take my picture holding Baby Butterbean's puppy!"

Well, when Banana realized we were now incorporating props into the photo session, he ran to get his monster-truck-tire earmuffs that he got at the monster truck show a couple of months back.

Then they posed.
Then I said, "Give me your biggest smiles EVER!"

So they did:

Baby Butterbean and Baby Butterbean's Brother

Baby Butterbean is getting big. Too big, if you want my opinion. I don't like it. Not even a little.

Anyway, here's a list of Baby Butterbean's milestones:

*He turned 9 months old on the 12th of this month.

*He's babbling. "Da da da da da da da . . . " It's way cute.

*He has four teeth and is in the process of getting his fifth. Again, serious cutness. Well, they're cute after they come in, but getting them is a nightmare for him. Poor guy.

*He's getting some adorable, fuzzy, chicken-type fluff on his head. Nice to pet.

*He's trying to crawl. He's getting close. Way too close.

*The strawberry on his nose is fading. But even that makes me sad. It's like the last mark of his very tiny infanthood. I think his red nose is absolutely adorable.

*He can hold his bottle.

*He is eating all kinds of food.

*He thinks he's all big and almost not like a baby anymore. I like to remind him that he's wrong about that. I remind him a lot.

Also, Baby Butterbean has the best big brother in the whole, wide world. Banana wanted in on the picture-taking action this morning. I said I would take his picture if he gave me his very best and biggest smile. What do you think:

Disturbance

Someone Comment Already!

Please note:
The below post (something fun) still needs one more comment.
I know you want something! Be the fifth person!
Thanks! :o)

*********************************************

Hey, everybody!

Scroll down till you get to my previous post . . . now read it . . . now comment!

I want to bring you joy and handmade goodies! Even if I'm already getting goodies from you!

It will bring me joy as well!

So let's ALL have fun, ok???!!!! :o)

I already have some good ideas about what I want to make.

Sending love . . .

Something Fun

Thanks, Peanut! (See Turning the Truck in my blogroll list.)

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!

My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!

2. What I create will be just for you.

3. It’ll be done this year. {translation: you may be waiting a little while}

4. You have no clue what it’s going to be … it may be cards, a poem, a bookmark, something yummy or a complete surprise to you (and me!) … who knows? not you, that’s for sure!

5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

Big Enough

I think I've posted this before at some time.
I just love Chris Rice. He's the best.

Big Enough by Chris Rice

None of us knows, and this makes it a mystery
If life is a comedy, then why all the tragedy?
Three and a half pounds of brain try to figure out
What this world is all about and is there an eternity?
Is there an eternity?

God, if You're there, I wish you'd show me,
And, God, if You care, then I need You to know me
I hope You don't mind me asking the questions
But I figure you're big enough

Lying on pillows we're haunted and half-awake
Does anyone hear us pray
If I die before I wake?
Then the morning comes and the mirror's another place
Where we wrestle face to face
With the image of diety
The image of diety

God, if You're there, I wish You'd show me,
And, God, if you care, then I need You to know me
I hope You don't mind me asking the questions
But I figure You're big enough,
I figure You're big enough

When I imagine the size of the universe,
And I wonder what's out past the edges,
Then I discover inside me a space as big
And believe that I'm meant to be
Filled up with more than just questions

So God, if You're there, I wish You'd show me,
And, God, if You care, then I need You to know me
I hope You don't mind me asking the questions
But I
Figure You're big enough
I figure You're big enough
'Cause I am not big enough

How to Survive a Personal Crisis

1. Have a long talk with a great friend. (thanks. I love you.)

2. MGD. It's no longer just for your Beer Can Chicken recipe.

3. Don't be afraid of new thoughts or of new things happening; things will always change forever and ever.

4. Have a good laugh, thanks to Noodle. She said that when Uncle Matt, Aunt Lisa, and Trevor come to visit, she is going to throw her big coat at Uncle Matt's face "and he will laugh," and that she is not going to hug them because, "they're too crazy."

5. Brownies.

6. Ice Cream.

7. Reese's Cups.

8. Spoonfuls of straight sugar if you have to.

9. Hugs and sugars from four sweet little people who are always pulling on my pants legs.

10. Keeping a sense of humor.

11. Believing - if not feeling - that things will be OK later.

12. Feeling OK about letting things not be OK right now.

13. Blog.

14. Bubble baths.

15. More brownies.

Desert Places

Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast
In a field I looked into going past,
And the ground almost covered smooth in snow,
But a few weeds and stubble showing last.

The woods around it have it -- it is theirs.
All animals are smothered in their lairs.
I am too absent-spirited to count;
The loneliness includes me unawares.

And lonely as it is that loneliness
Will be more lonely ere it will be less --
A blanker whiteness of benighted snow
With no expression, nothing to express.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars -- on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places.

"Desert Places" by Robert Frost
From "A Further Range," 1936

Sometimes

Sometimes we go through hard stuff. All of us do.

Things at work are hard. Other stuff is hard right now, too.

My friend Lisa died. We will miss her very much. Her visitation was yesterday and her funeral is this morning. Please pray for her family. Sometimes things just do not make sense. Lisa has left a great legacy. I've been thinking a lot about my life since learning of her death on Wednesday. I want to leave a great legacy, too. But sometimes . . . I am afraid that I won't.

I just want to say how much I love my family and all of my friends. You are all so very dear to me, and if I have ever caused any of you hurt, then I am so sorry.

Sometimes you just wish you could take back all of your mistakes, but you can't. You just have to hope to be forgiven.

I know that later there will be good times. But we have to live through the hard stuff too. And we don't have a guarantee that things will make sense.

It's Almost 100% Certain . . .

That we will be getting this house.

Take a look and let me know what you think!

We love it; the kids love it. They are always begging to go over and see "The Big House."

We'll have plenty of room! Come visit us!!!!

Noodle

Chicken Nugget had an overnight event this weekend, so I left the boys at home to watch wrestling and basketball, and Noodle and I had a date! We ate at Cracker Barrell, and Noodle picked out a dress-up set that was on sale for 70% off. We went to see the movie Coraline ("That mean mom was scary!" was Noodle's review of the movie.). I had to make a quick trip to JCPenny to get some pants ("You're just killin' me, Mom, with all this stuff you have to do at the mall!" was Noodle's impatient review of my shopping excursion to Penny's.) Last, we painted at a ceramics place in the mall. Noodle painted three hearts to hang up in her room, and I painted a rose. We even got sparkles srayed on them before we left.

Have I mentioned at all how super stressed I have been lately? No? Well, I have been. Probably more stressed than I can ever recall feeling, EVER. It is a combination of lots of things, but let me just reiterate that the ending result of the combination has been STRESS.

Leave it to Noodle to make me feel better.

Yesterday, as we were leaving Cracker Barrell, I said, "Noodle, did you know that I love you? I love you so much. I love you more than the world!"

Noodle wanted to let me know how much she loves me, too. She said, "I love you more than chicken!"

Thanks, Noodle. I really needed that laugh! And I need you. And I even love you more than chicken, too!

Education

I'd like to write a post about teaching. That's what I really want to do. But I'd have to be SO cryptic, that I would have to include a decoder ring.

So I'll just say this:

Parts of teaching are really great. Other parts aren't. I love the kids. Lots of other stuff about it, I don't love at all.

For a more detailed report (since I can't give the name of my school or any other specific names on this blog, due to possible legal retribution), I'd be happy to send a personal e-mail. Or, look below for the telepathic version of what I really want to say:


***telepathic version in transmit now***

Now tell me THAT wasn't a mouthful!!!!

Holiday

No, it's not a holiday. It's mean to even call it a holiay. But I'm home. It's because the girls have strep. Poor girls. I feel sorry for them. But I can't say I feel sorry to be home!

So . . .

I've been so busy! I have been meaning to and wanting to blog, but who has the time???? Unless I'm up at 3AM some morning or something like that . . .

Anyway, things are going great. I really love my students at work. I'm overloaded and sometimes feel overwhelmed with getting used to all the paperwork involved with teaching. But it gets easier every day.

Oh, and we might get a house. But that's all I'm gonna say for now . . .

Much love to you all!

Yesterday . . .

I signed my salary agreement!

So I'm a real teacher now!

Sunday Afternoon Nap

Here you go, Melanie!

As I was talking to my sis-in-law Mel on the phone, I turned the corner to walk into the kitchen and found Banana conked out on the floor. I guess I'm a bad mom, because I don't remember when I stopped hearing him playing, or how he ended up in the dining room.

Just Chillin' in my Crib

2AM

I went to bed at 8PM, completely exhausted. I woke up with the baby at 1AM and took some Excedrin for a headache. Now I can't go back to sleep.

I was just reading The Second Summer of the Sisterhood in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series. I'm halfway through the book and just discovered that each girl (except Bridget, whose Mother is not living) is in a fight with her mother. The theme of this book seems to be mother-daughter relationships. I've heard that a woman's realtionship with her mother is the most complicated one in her life. It's a good book so far.

I've been thinking about writing about my New Year's Resolutions. I have several, but I kind of don't want to share them out loud (so to speak). There are several changes that I want to make, but I don't know if I'm brave enough or consistent enough to follow through. What if I don't, then you all think that I'm a big failure?

I've been thinking about how different my life is now compared to before the Scott and the kids. I think about that a lot. There's not one place in this house that I can look that's not a reminder of my family. My bookmark is one that Eliza made me for Christmas. On the desk beside me is Eliza's report card and her reminder note for her academic after-school competetion. She's doing oral reading; a poem. In my pocket today, I carried a picture Molly had drawn of our family and insisted that I take with me today. Molly likes to draw things and tape them to the doors and walls. Right now, on our bedroom door is a picture of a not exactly round face with large, not-round eyes and a crooked smile. I can't remember if it's my face or Scott's. Sometimes Molly forgoes the paper altogether and just draws directly onto the wall or door. Aaron has taken to getting into bed with us these days and playing with my hair till he falls asleep. He needs to pick up his Thomas trains and his Lincoln Logs. I step on them when I'm changing Charlie's diaper. There's a trail of Charlie's spit-up-on clothing and blankets trailing through the house. There's a chubby finger wrapped around mine as I feed him in the middle of the night. I was really only joking when I asked Scott tonight if someone might take our kids, and then we could sleep at night. Sleepless nights are hard, but I really do like those kids a lot.

I like being a teacher. I have several students with tattoos. One of my students has a tattoo that reminds me of something I saw on TV about radiation patients getting tattoos so that they'll get the radiation in the right spot. I mentioned that to my student and said, "Does that tattoo mean something?" His gaze strayed to the spot on the knuckle of his thumb where the three dots were, looked at it briefly, and then said, "Yeah, Miss, it means something." He wouldn't tell me what it meant, but I didn't have to guess. Mostly the kids in gangs interact peacefully at school; I'm not worried. But I am hearsick for most of them, because I know that this is a replacement for family and real belonging. I have this quote from Helen Keller up on my wall: "I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something."
I hope that will be true.

As I've been on this journey with God these past 22 years, I've come to recognize His voice in my life and how it is that He speaks to me. I'm sure you understand. Sometimes it's a still, small voice, a gentle whisper that you recognize. Sometimes it's a voice so loud in your ear, it's like a bullhorn. I've been hearing the bullhorn lately.

Much love to all of you. I love to hear and read about all of your adventures. I just hope you're sleeping peacefully as I write about mine!

Stop Getting So Big!

Even though these pics are orangey-yellow (we STILL haven't picked out a new camera!), there's no denying that Baby Butterbean is so cute! And TOO big! Week before last, his first tooth came through. His second will probably pop out this week. You can see it beside the other one. Also, he rolled over for the first time on Wednesday.

I've been reluctant to accept the fact that Baby Butterbean, that little guy that came into the world at 5lb., 12oz., would grow up. I have tried to keep that from happening. Unfortunately, I haven't yet figured out the magic formula for keeping babies little. Baby Butterbean will be 7 months old tomorrow.

As soon as Noodle saw that I was taking pictures, she wanted to be in them. I said she had to comb her hair first. Well, as you can see, she got really dolled up here, donning barrettes and a lovely necklace. Noodle is getting too big, too. She'll be five in May!!! Does anyone out there know how to make this stop?????

Just More Stuff for You to Read

So, I think I'm almost finished tweaking my page now. I would like a more creative-looking header, but don't know how to achieve that. Any suggestions?

Christmas was good. We got to head up to Arkansas for some time with the fam. I didn't get to see CBB, which bummed me out. But next time, Court. Or my new fab-o BFF Rachel! CBB, please tell her she has now been immortalized on my blog.

But we did get some good time with my parents, brother, sis-in-law, and nephew, as well as with Elizabeth. The kids ate up some Grandma and Pappa time, and I ate up (way too much) some good home-baked sweets. We're talking tiger butter, fudge, hard candy (cinnamon), chocolate pie, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and magic bars. OK, so I don't go so much for the pecan pie or the magic bars (I don't care for anything with nuts or coconut), but let me tell you, few morsels were left when all was said and done.

The most interesting part of our visit: spending the night in my sis's-in-law haunted house. I wanted to do it, and let me tell you, it's creepy. It's also got no heat in it at the moment (they're doing quite a bit of remodeling to it), which made for a potentially chilly evening.

Let me back up on this one:
My sis-in-law has owned this house in Benton for awhile. It's big, and it's old. And haunted. Right now, she, Matt, and Trevor live in Matt's cozy little thing on Canturbury. But they eventually want to move into Lisa's place; thus, the remodeling. I'd taken a tour in it before, and loved the deliciously creepy feel of it. It's just fun to be in and pretend it's haunted. But then that stuff starts getting into your head and you get a little freaked out. So Lisa and I started talking about all of us piling in there for a sleepover while BW and I were up for Christmas. BW's allergies wouldn't allow him to stay in it, because all of the work has stirred up quite a bit of junk. But that didn't stop me from taking Noodle and Chicken Nugget over there, and we all piled up on some air mattresses and sleeping bags and plugged in a space heater and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and drank hot cocoa and ate cookies and popcorn and M&M's. Elizabeth was there, too, with her digital camera. So before settling in for the night, we took a tour of the house and took pics all around and got lots of orbs (which Matt said was dust floating in the air, but it was more fun to call them orbs). I only got freaked out once in the night, when the space heater went off and came back on all by itself . . . spooky . . . till I realized it had a thermometer on it.

Also fun to note, for those of you who have had any dealings with me and my bladder issues: we stayed in an upstairs room (the house has 14 rooms all told, including living rooms, etc.) and the working bathroom was not only downstairs, but downstairs and all the way on the other side of the house. Man, I held it for as long as I could before waking Elizabeth up in the night and having her walk me down there. I was too spooked to go all by myself!

So before we left for Christmas, I got a call from a principal from one of the schools to which I'd applied. He offered me a contracted position! I'll be starting Monday. It'll be teaching 9th grade English. I am still pinching myself! I don't even know if I'll really believe it till my name is down in ink on that contract. Oooooo . . . can this REALLY, finally be happening!

I think we had a great year. We did. We had a great year. And we have a good life. Beautiful kids, wonderful marriage, and a lot to be thankful for. I'm still just trying to make each day matter. I was thinking about Christmas gifts, but really, we got some great gifts even before Christmas. We added Baby Butterbean to our family, and he's been a joy and a treasure. All the kids are growing and are happy. BW and I are happy (and growing, but not up - hope to take care of that in the coming year). My mom, myself, and three of my children were spared from harm this summer. We also were able to be part of a beautiful wedding and to welcome my new sis-in-law to the family. Yeah . . . it's been a great year.

Much love to all of you.

Working on It

I'm trying to fix my blog and make it all pretty-like and fancy. So far, I don't like it. I've tried ScrapBlog before but can't navigate it. I'm not that clever. Now I'm using Cutest Blog on the Block, but I still seem to be having trouble. Ya'll may see something new and better soon, or you may just see regular old plain Blogger stuff again soon.

By the way, hope ya'll had a Merry Christmas and that you are having a Happy New Year!

Bad Season

This has been a rough fall and winter for our family, illness-wise. Has anyone else been experiencing this?

After Thanksgiving week (with those two ER trips - one for Baby Butterbean and one for Banana), Banana ended up sick again last week. He went to the dr. on Monday and was diagnosed with tracheo bronchitis. After three oral medications and nebulizer treatments, he is doing much better. He had his follow-up with the dr. yesterday, and Dr. G declared Banana wonderfully healthy.

Baby Butterbean, on the other hand . . .

Sunday night, I noticed that awful, wet-sounding cough coming from Baby Butterbean, and I thought, not again! My poor baby has had upper respiratory junk pretty much since he was about six weeks old. Retractions in breathing, wheezing, fever, snot, everything. So I called the dr. before Banana's appointment yesterday and told them to add Baby Butterbean to the roster. He was running a slight temp and you could tell, he just felt rotten.

Dr. G was quite concerned about Baby Butterbean's condition, and upon examination, diagnosed him with "clinical pneumonia." I just about came unglued. The doctor said clinical pneumonia is when the child is diagnosed in the clinic with no chest x-ray. He did a CDC and determined that it was viral, so he didn't insist on a chest x-ray yesterday. But we go back to the dr. tomorrow and he'll reassess BB to see if one will be necessary. In the meantime, the same regimen: three kinds of oral meds and the nebulizer. So far today, no fever, but lots of coughing.

I was just about at my wits' end yesterday and asked Dr. G how much longer this could go on. Why was BB always getting sick? Part of it has to do with his being a tad early, certainly, but isn't there something that could be done? Dr. G mentioned a drug called Synagis and went to check BB's chart to see if he was a candidate. Synagis is a vaccine given once a month to babies, usually babies who were much more premature than BB, to prevent RSV. Dr. G was back in the exam room in short order with his mother (who runs the office) to have her explain to me about what to tell the insurance company in order to get BB's monthly vaccines. Dr. G said that BB was most definitely a candidate, having five upper respiratory episodes within six months (and he's only six months old). But apparently Synagis is very expensive and insurance is usually pretty stingy about paying for it. So please pray for us as we begin this process. Dr. G wants BB to have his first shot on Jan. 1. And please pray for BB's health in general until we can get the Synagis going.

The girls have had these dry, hacking coughs. It is more annoying to them than anything. Noodle's is pretty much all gone, but Chicken Nugget still asks for cough medicine and cough drops every day. So far, no fever for them. A few sniffles, though. But these seem to come and go with each rise and drop in the temperature. And we've been having LOTS of rises and drops in the temperature lately. Silly Texas weather.

Buffalo Wings also has had his bout with illness. He kept coughing and coughing and coughing. I kept trailing him around the house so that I could catch his lung when it fell out. It was a really bad cough, ya'll. He'll make sure the kids get to the doctor five times a week, but as for taking himself . . . nope. He won't. Finally, I insisted. I said, "You're sick. You have an infection." He said, "I'm fine. It's just allergies . . . *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*" (I go over to catch his lung). And then he said . . . "OK *COUGH* I'll *COUGH* go *COUGH*" He called me from the doctor. He said, "You're right and I'm wrong. *COUGH* I have *COUGH* bronchitis and *COUGH* sinusitis *COUGH*" He's much better after a round of antibiotics.

I have had a little sore throat. That was about a week and a half ago. Now I just have a tickle in my throat. I've been, by far, the healthiest member of the family this season.

I'm praying that all of you have been wonderfully healthy and happy!

In Christ Alone

So Thursday night I got to attend a Beth Moore event. It was really good. CeCe Winans was there. So was worship leader Travis Cottrell. I was unfamiliar with Travis Cottrell, but he was wonderful. He had such a big, powerful voice, and I felt ushered into the Throne Room of God as Travis lead us all in a time of praising God. The event was a time of great encouragement as Beth shared words from the Word, and I heard things that God really wanted to say to me. I always enjoy Beth Moore's teaching, but I have to say that Thursday night, most meaningful was the worship time.

Most powerful was this song, which I love so much anyway. When we all sang, "Then bursting forth in glorious day, up from the grave He rose again! And as He stands in victory, sin's curse has lost its grip on me! For I am His, and He is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ!" I think I wasn't the only one who felt chills.

And then came my favorite part, "No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me! From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand! Till He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand!"

I marvel at the power of Christ, truly. That He has gotten me through and to so many things in life. That He gives and gives and loves and loves me, who has disappointed time and again, who has disobeyed and shamed the Lord. How could I not want to serve Him? Only by the power of Christ have so many things happened, and I see evidence of Him in all parts of my life. So let that song also be my testimony. God is good. God is so, so good.

I've heard of the crowns and rewards that we will get in Heaven. The best explanation I've heard in regard to our Heavenly rewards came from a great man that I know. He is a friend of ours from church. He was teaching at church one night and he said, "You know, I think that we are going to want more rewards in Heaven so that we'll have that much more to lay at the feet of Jesus."

That picture has stayed with me. Laying any reward that we get at the feet of Jesus in Heaven. I have these two goals for my life, or afterlife as it may be: I want to hear Jesus say to me, "Well done, thy good and faithful servant." And I want to be able to lay piles at His feet on the day that I meet Him.

So . . . it really CAN snow in Texas!

Last night, while we were at church, it started snowing. My friend ran into the choir room after practice to tell us all. I went to get the girls from their children's activities, and saw that all the kids had been outside and gathered up cups of snow. You'll see the girls displaying theirs, above. They insisted on keeping the snow in the freezer last night.

We have a late start to school today, so I wanted to go outside and capture the phenomenon. Have you ever seen a tropical plant covered in snow?

Standing in some Coastal Texas snow.

Banana has never, ever seen snow before. He wasn't sure what to think about it. He said, "Mamma, I made my foot! Look!"

And you can see him pointing at his footprint, below.

Sorry, But She's On A Roll . . .

We all got home today after freezing our Texas tails off, and I said we needed some hot chocolate so that we could warm our bones. Banana declined the offer for hot chocolate, and he walked away.

Noodle was concerned! She said, "If Banana doesn't drink any hot chocolate, then he'll never get his bones warm!"

Cold

I never really understood what cold was until I lived in Iowa.

In Arkansas, 30 degrees was cold. 28 degrees was really cold. If the temperature ranged in the teens, you'd better hope your pantry was stocked, because you weren't leaving the house.

In San Francisco, it stayed chilly for a lot of the year. In fact, most apartments there did not have air conditioners, only central heating. There was hardly any use for an AC. I froze in SF. I dreaded watching that legendary, that beautiful fog roll over the mountains. I knew what seeing that fog meant. Chilliness.

And then I went from chilly to downright cold. Real cold. The honest-to-goodness, real-deal kind of cold. The kind of cold that made me long for temps in the teens.

I moved to Iowa in January of 2003. My brother drove Chicken Nugget and me from SF to Winterset. When we drove through Tahoe and the Sierra Nevadas, I marvelled that so much snow could exist in one place. When we drove through the Wasach Mountains in Utah, Matt pulled over so that we could take pictures knee-deep in snow. If only I'd known . . .

Not only did so much snow exist in one place, it continued to exist. For months. It was cold, ya'll. I spent that first winter learning that hats and gloves are a must, that my child needed a snowsuit and moon boots, and that when you get a note on your car telling you to move it from the curb, you'd better do so. Else you'd find that the snowplow had just buried your car in about five feet of snow.

It made me a nervous wreck to think of driving in that stuff. It was insane. I learned the art of it, of creeping and of turning your wheel in the opposite direction when the car began to slide. WHEN the car began to slide. Never IF it did.

Oh, and as for running - yeah. I used to run in SF. Because, although chilly there, you could run year-round. You could always be outside. The stores sold specialty clothing for running in the rain, and even when it was chilly, mostly it was pleasantly chilly. Perfect for getting out there and getting your blood pumping.

Not in Iowa in January.

I told Buffalo Wings I'd go running. He said I'd fall down. I insisted he was just silly. I had good shoes. He said, "Yeah . . . you're going to fall down."

I ran about half a block. My rear was wet and sore. I had fallen down.

That first winter, CN and I lived in a cute little studio apartment in Winterset. Chicken Nugget saw the snow on the porch, and wanted to take the snow inside and keep it. I tried to explain . . . in the end, I put some in a baggie and let her keep it in the freezer. Until she realized that the snow would keep coming back. For a long time.

Oh, and when it snows, it doesn't matter. School still goes on. The doctor's offices stay open. It's almost as if nothing had happened, even with snow drifts 5 feet or higher along the road. Crazy stuff.

Then we moved to Albert City, which is a town in Iowa that's about three hours South of Minneapolis. Ya'll, it was way cold. I used to walk CN to her preschool, which was about half a block from our house. One morning, we went out, CN all snow-suit-and-moon-boot-clad, me with my trusty hat, gloves, and scarf . . . and it was 30 below zero. No, I'm not joking. It was.

A few days later, CN and I left to walk to preschool, and it was warm! The sun was shining! It wasn't snowing! I even left my coat behind! Buffalo Wings came home that afternoon, and I exclaimed about the warmth of the day! It must have been about 50 degrees outside, I said. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Honey," he said, "It was 25 degrees outside."

At last, his wife had gained perspective on the cold.

However, if you think about it, going from 30 below to 25 that quickly really is something like a heatwave.

It snowed that Mother's Day of my second year in Iowa. I was like, "No. It's not snowing on Mother's Day. It's May."
But yeah, it totally did.

Our first year down here in Texas, we had a bit of a cold snap early in the fall. I don't know, like 45 degrees or something overnight. I took CN to school and felt like a bad mom. CN was the only one who was just in a jacket and not in a parka with gloves, hat, and scarf.

I write this post today because it is cold in Texas. This morning, it's something like 35 and raining. Everyone's shivering and puddle-jumping. I'm telling everyone that it isn't supposed to be like this in Texas.

I heard a song the other day that cracked me up. I don't know who it was by, and I can't find the lyrics anywhere on the Internet, but it went something like, "Oh, there's no white Christmases in Houston!" I laughed and laughed. The first year we were here, it "snowed" on Christmas Eve. It was a light dusting, basically. But everyone loved it.

I remember when my friend Boss saw her first Arkansas "snow." She scoffed and told us that it wasn't "real" snow. Now I understand, Boss. I really, really do.

That's the first and last time I've seen snow down here. I'd venture to say that this year will be void of any white stuff as well.

I'll be spending Christmas in Arkansas this year. The kids look forward to some colder weather. But, anymore, I've come to realize that "cold" really is all about perspective. And, cold-hater that I am, I'll be shivering right along with everyone else in Arkansas.

Noodle's Latest Funny

We were piling into the van this morning, and Banana was still in the house getting his shoes. Noodle climbs calmly into the van and says, "Mamma, don't leave Banana behind. Because I don't want you to go to jail."

Well, We Tried! Merry Christmas, Anyway!

Of course, no one looks at the camera at the same time! The above is the best we could do! Merry Christmas!

A Word From God, Through Noodle

Banana was eating his cereal and Noodle said:

"Banana, God does not want you to eat with your mouth open."

Have you read . . .

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, have you?

I've read lots of books. I love to read. I don't think I've ever internalized a book before, not like this. I have spent the past three days reading this book, and each night, I've had dreams about the characters. Last night, I dreamed about Tariq and Laila and their children as they left Pakistan. Before I put the book down to go to sleep last night, that's what the characters were about to do - leave Pakistan to return to Kabul, Afghanistan. I dreamed they had trouble finding a place to live once they got back to Kabul.

This book has been difficult to read (what I mean is, I have loved the book, but it is difficult to read because of the raw emotions due to the true-to-life suffering described in the book), but so brilliantly written, and such an intimately woven story, that I hated putting it down each time that I had to. I enjoy books, but this one has really left a mark on me.

Let me know if you read it, and if so, what you thought.

The Rest of the Story . . .

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27

When I was a young(er) adult, I was going through an intense period of doubt regarding a certain spiritual matter. I was reminded by a dear mentor and friend, whom I probably called way too much, that God's sheep will know His voice. He repeated it over and over to me: "My sheep hear my voice . . ." and told me not to worry, because no matter what I thought at the time, I was one of God's sheep. He also said that this was a very exciting time, and that even though I couldn't understand it or see it, God was leading me into some kind of deeper understanding about Him.

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death . . . Psalm 23:4

Just a few months ago, I caught a glimpse of what I think is the valley of the shadow of death. And for me, it was feeling separated from God. When I think of telling people about what happens in eternity, and when I think that there's either a Heaven or a Hell, what I want to say about Hell is that you are eternally separated from God. I believe what the Bible says about sheol, but what I can't resolve myself to say to anyone is that "you'll burn forever!" More, I'm sorrowful that anyone would ever be separated from God for eternity. At least, that's what I go over in my mind. And if only for a brief period, or maybe a few periods of my life, when I felt separated from God, it was the loneliest, saddest, the time of greatest despair in my life. Although I know that I am, I'm not trying to speak of the theology of eternity, or to preach to anyone; I'm only going over in my mind and put into words my recent experience.

During that time of sorrow and doubt, of trying to pray but not feeling heard, of casting cynical (at best) glances at the Holy Book on my nightstand, I wondered so many things. First of all, why? Why was I doubting? Why couldn't I be happy about the outcome of the wreck? Why couldn't I stand in awe and praise? Why had that event turned into something that caused me to doubt the very existence of God, or His role in the universe, if indeed He was real? Doubts and questions so intense, more than anything I've wondered before, made me wonder about my future.

Not that I wouldn't be alive or happy with my family or my career or any of those things, but I knew that if I really did have a change of faith (to a new God, religion, or whatever), that things in my life would change drastically. That is because everything in my life up till July 14, 2008, had hinged upon the existence of the God of the Bible. Everything that I knew to be true, everything that mattered in life, was viewed through the lense of the intense love of the God who gave His Son for all the pain of all the world. That colored every thought in my head, the way that I treated or didn't treat people, my plans for the future, the way that my husband and I raised our children, what we did with our money, etc. etc. And so, if that changed . . . everything else would to. What would be right, what would be wrong? I'd have a whole new life to learn. It was more than I could bear.

I did something that I've often done, since I couldn't really pray. I asked the Holy Spirit to pray for me. If indeed there was a God, the one that I'd always believed in, then that could still work. In the Bible, in the book of Romans, Chapter 8, verses 26-27, Paul talks about how the Spirit helps us in our weakness. I've always found these words so beautiful and touching, "The Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." What a moving picture that paints, I think. How many times (like recently) have I gone through things for which I needed prayers, but couldn't pray? Couldn't even find words that would adequately express to others why I needed prayers? But just asking the Holy Spirit to advocate for me, to say those words with groans that only God could understand, while I myself was groaning . . . so I asked the Holy Spirit to pray for me, because that's all I knew to do.

And I shared, the best I knew how, what I was going through with those who loved me. Even when I was afraid that after my story, they wouldn't love me, I shared it anyway. Even if I just knew that they would shun me as a horrible mother and person, or that people would judge me for being anti-spiritual or I don't know what (my mind could think of so many condemnations), I felt compelled to reach out, and at every turn I was met with love. That fact truly overwhelmed me. On some level, I wanted to be hated. I felt I deserved it. I felt that if I were hated, then in some way I could earn back what I'd lost. Don't ask me to explain it or rationalize it; I simply can't. That's how it is with the Deciever, who hates those of us who are in Christ, who will tell us anything to draw us away from Him. Feeling that I deserved hate and could earn anything from God would be Satan's greatest victory. Accepting God's unconditional love and acceptance, and the love He lavishes on me through the hearts of family and friends, was a healing balm and a great gift that Satan didn't want me to experience, for it would draw me closer and closer to God.
I think it was this day in church when I started to hear God again. To think of God longing for me . . . longing to be gracious . . . not to condemn, but to love . . . and then the song . . . I was so thirsty, so weak, so wanting that Fountain, but not knowing how to get to it . . .

There's a song by the Indigo Girls called "Ghost," and though it is not a song about God or anything, I love the lines that say, "The Mississippi's mighty, it starts in Minnesota, at a place that you could walk across with five steps down. And I guess that's how you started, like a pinprick to my heart, but at this point you rush right through me and I start to drown." I don't know how to explain when I began to recognize God's voice again over these months, how I came back into fellowship with Him, how my faith has returned. It was a pinprick at first, I guess. I'm not drowning yet, but I'm about back up to my waist. I think that if I'm going to drown in something, this Fountain is a good thing to drown in.

So this has been my struggle, and this is my struggle: that I'm painfully, finitely human. That my life is, always was, and always will be a mess. That the only answer to my pain and yours and everyone's is the love of Jesus. That I don't understand lots and lots of things, that I never will, that I continue to wonder about stuff. That I know that the trial I've just gone through only makes me stronger for the next one.

I don't know if I've given you the rest of the story, really, but wanted to say that piece by piece, my faith is returning. I can't give myself any credit for this. I can only say that God chose to hide Himself from me for awhile (I believe that God does this, hides but doesn't go away . . .), but also that, like the poem, He carried me through this very dark time. His rod and His staff comforted me, even when I couldn't realize it. He was with me, even though I couldn't see or feel Him.

Well, now that you've read my novel (thanks) . . . I want to say that I'm still going through this. I don't think you can have your world shaken to the core and recover too quickly. Things are still mending, still falling into place. I still ask questions. But at least I've returned to a place of believing that my prayers are heard, that God does not despise my broken and contrite heart. I know that I'm hearing His voice again, and I can't tell You what a place of peace that is. It's overwhelming. If I ever could be speechless (my English teachers always scolded me for my wordiness). . . that aspect of this journey makes me speechless. God is no longer silent, and it is only joy to say that. Whatever I do or do not have answers for at the moment, one thing I do know: Christ and Him crucified. I glory in Him for what He has shown me, and for loving me through this time.

At work the other day, my friend Ms. D said, "Mrs. Donut, I have a friend who is convinced that God hates Him. Now why do you think anybody would believe that?"

My heart was sad for her friend. I just shook my head. I know what that feels like. I remembered the many, many prayers and kind words from friends on my behalf. I encouraged Ms. D to continue to pray for her friend and said I'd pray for him, too. I said, "All that I really know is that there's just one Answer to your friend's pain, and to my pain, and to your pain . . ."

Banana Update

Banana's going to be just fine!

Dr. G was very upset that Banana didn't get better treatment at the ER. Don't get me wrong - everyone at the ER Friday night was very nice. But Dr. G felt they were not in the least bit thorough. He looked in Banana's throat and said that there was our problem - his tonsils were inflamed and full of pus. (Sorry to be so graphic.) He asked if the ER doctors had checked his throat, and was surprised to hear that they had. He said he didn't know how they could have missed that infection.

I love our dr. so much. He really loves the kids, and he doesn't take any crap. I'm not trying to sound ugly here, but sometimes you just need an advocate, and especially when it comes to the health of your kids. I used to be kind-of timid when it came to my kids' health care. After all, I'm not a doctor. I know how to use Tylenol, and that's about it. But the older I've gotten, and the more children I've had, the more vocal I've gotten when it comes to the kids' health care. So I was not in the least hesitant to insist that the ER doctors call Dr. G Friday night, even though I could tell they didn't want to. And I know how much pressure those ER doctors have to be under, with the volume of children that are seen there each day. Still . . . my child deserves the very best treatment as well. I don't go to the ER just for the fun of it. I don't mind waiting, just as long as my baby gets the correct diagnosis and treatment.

Woah! So this totally was not meant to be a little soapbox time for me, but that's what it turned in to! Sorry. All that to say, Dr. G gave Banana a good going-over today and said that as severe an infection as he has, not to be surprised if the fever hangs on for another day or two. Thank you all for your prayers! Now we know what the problem is, and Banana just needs a couple more days of antibiotics and TLC.

Very Worried

I'm very worried about my little man, Banana.

This is his sixth day with fever and no explanation. He sees the doctor in about an hour. I had thought for sure the antibiotics would have kicked in by now. Of course my kids have had fever before, but never as high as he's had, and never this many days. He is not sleeping well at night, and when the fever is extreme, he throws up. He's miserable.

Please say a little prayer for my sweetie pie Banana.

Fundraising Letter

I am preparing my fundraising letter for our mission trip to the Czech Republic. It will go something like this:

Dear Family and Friends,

Just a little over two years ago, many of you partnered with me as I took a mission trip to Hattiesburg, Mississippi. You prayed for me and assisted with funds. Because of your gifts, I was able to minister to those affected by Hurricane Katrina. It was an honor to be used by God in that way, to be able to help repair a roof and to show the love of Jesus to those who needed it. I truly felt God's call that summer of 2006 to step out on faith and take that mission trip to Hattiesburg. It was an incredible experience to be used by God during that trip; watching God provide for that trip through many of you made me stand in awe, and I was humbled.

Now there is a new call for my life. I will be taking another short-term mission trip in the summer of 2009, only this time I'll be going much further than Hattiesburg, Mississippi. I'll be going with several others from my church to minister in Litomerice, in the Czech Republic! Is it scary to think of leaving behind my husband and four kids while I travel to Central Europe? Does my heart break at thinking of not being with them for two weeks? Do I think of all the "what ifs?" Yes, yes, and yes. But God's instructions to me are clear, and I go with a mixture of excitement, awe, anxiety, hope, exhilaration, and fear. And above all, I go knowing that I'm being obedient to God's call for me.

As I was growing up, it was always my dream to be a missionary overseas. During my time in seminary, God spoke very clearly to me that my full-time work would not be as an international missionary. As I've grown and learned and listened to Him more, I feel that I'm still on quite a journey into what He wants for my life. These short-term mission trips, I feel, are a big part of what He will be doing in my life and in the life of my family for years to come. I know that God will show me many important things while I am on this trip, and that His name will be glorified in all things that result from this trip.

While our group is in the Czech Republic, we will be helping with a ministry called Bethel House. Bethel House is a place that ministers to young people who come out of orphanages. These young people need crucial job training and life skills, so Bethel House functions as a half-way house for these youth. Their most important need is to have the love of Jesus spoken into their lives. Bethel House operates many English-speaking camps throughout the year. Our church's group will be leading one of these English-speaking camps while we are in the Czech Republic. The English camps are important, because knowing English will help with acquiring jobs. Through the English camps, we will be able to teach the Bible and share the gift of Christ with those who may have never heard. There are many more ministries of Bethel House, one of which is a coffee house that has literature in English for leisure reading. Our church has already collected and sent many books for this ministry. We want to collect and send more before we leave for our trip.

As I pray and prepare for this trip, I am asking for you to partner with me. This can be through funding, prayer, or both. The cost for me to take this trip will be $2500, the first half of which being an immediate need for the purchase of plane tickets. This will definitely be the most extensive and expensive mission trip I've ever taken, but I know that the God who called me to this task will bring it to pass.

I would be happy to share more information with you about the wonderful ministries of Bethel House. I can't wait to give updates and reports as our church's group prepares for this trip. We will spend the next 8 months in concentrated prayer and training before we leave for the Czech Republic. We will be trained on how to do effective English camps and trained about the Czech culture.

Once again, I stand in awe of what God is doing. I stand in awe that He would use me to bring others to Him. I can't wait to share with all of you what He does, and to give you all my report after this trip is finished. To Him be the Glory.

In Christ,
Amy Sickle

D/S McNary, can you think of anything I need to add or remove?

I AM excited, nervous, scared, etc., but rest in the fact that I'm being obedient. Sometimes I think about it, and it seems like cake. Other times when I think about it, I get scared. What if Scott or the kids get sick? What if something happens to my family? What if, what if, what if? Then I am reminded of Luke 9:51-62. I really do want to follow Him anywhere. I really do want to be that obedient. I am compelled to show His great love to others, for He has shown His great love to me.

This mission trip has been quite an undertaking. I am working with a friend of mine, and we are leading the efforts. I'm happy to have my friend in the planning process with me, she being much more organized than I am! Still, to be in charge of something so huge . . . it becomes overwhelming at times, discouraging even. But I remember that Satan condemns and Satan hates this Kingdom work. We keep going, and listen to the greater Voice, the one that has overcome the world.

Much love to all of you. Look for your letters soon! If you would prefer not to get a letter, please let me know. Otherwise, I'm sending one to every living, breathing person in my address book! Not that ya'll actually live in my address book . . .

Cuddling

I just wish that our camera didn't make all the pictures come out all orangey. I can't wait till Christmas, when we will get a NEW camera! Yay! Orange or not, I thought these were cute:

Just Lots of Stuff

So my long-term sub job came to an end two weeks ago. The first week after it ended was difficult. I missed my kids so much (boy, did they send me off in a grand way. One class even threw a party for me) and I found out that I did not get the 9th grade position for which I'd interviewed. But things are getting better, and I'm still subbing. Also, the manager at Palais Royal called me in to work again. This was my first week back, and I'm having a blast so far. The new manager is so great and we have the same fun crew, with a few new fun people. We really all do mix well as co-workers. It is a blessing.

Halloween was fun. It was a long time ago, and I didn't get any pictures, but it was fun. Noodle was a dalmation. Chicken Nugget was a bat, this being the third year running. Banana was Thomas the Tank Engine. He is WAY into Thomas these days. But he didn't really keep his costume on during the Halloween carnival. We always take the kids to the festival at the church up the street, rather than trick-or-treating. It's because they have free dinner (hot dogs and stuff), lots of games, tons of candy and cookies, bounce houses, etc. etc., and most of our neighbors go too. It's always lots of fun. Oh, and if you're wondering what Baby Butterbean was . . . well, he was a baby. And he stayed home with me while Dad took the big kids to the carnival.

My dad recently had his bladder removed. About nine or so years ago, it was discovered that he had some small cancerous tumors in his bladder. They were recurring, every couple of years or so, but always very, very small and easily removed. His last surgery to remove some tumors was back in July. Daddy never really bounced back from that surgery, as he had always bounced back and recovered well from previous surgeries. The cancer had become too difficult to remove and the doctor said that the bladder needed to come out. So just after we left my parents' house to return to Somewhere Near Houston after Hurricane Ike, Daddy had the surgery. He also had some lymph nodes removed, and because microscopic cancer cells were found in the lymph nodes, Daddy is taking chemo once a week. He is only getting one chemical, and he's been handling everything like a champ. Before his bladder removal surgery, he had been feeling really sick and was losing weight. Now he's feeling much better, is recovering from his surgery well, doing great with the chemo, and is back to his old eating habits :o)! Yay, Daddy!

Mission trip stuff is going great. We'll be buying plane tickets to go to the Czech Republic very soon! I'll write some more detailed information about the mission trip soon. In the meantime, I am raising money for the trip. I'll be sending fundraising e-mails and letters soon, too. Look for yours in the mail!

I had a great birthday. My sweetie hubby got me some great gifts, including a beautiful new comforter set and roses that he sent me at school. He also let me get away to Conroe to spend the weekend with Kelly and her sister, Nikki. We had a great time with each other, Baby Butterbean, and Kelly's nephew, whom she was taking care of while her other sister was out of town. They baby boys are just about two weeks apart in age, and we were in baby heaven. And when they were sleeping, we were in girl-talk heaven. We also went shopping at Sam Moon (AWESOME!!!!) and ate at Macaroni Grill. It was so much fun.

Our Thanksgiving was nice and relaxing, just us. But it was sandwiched between ER visits! Crazy. Wednesday night, Baby Butterbean had such a hard time sleeping. He'd had a little cold, but it had turned into wheezing and coughing and he just couldn't sleep or eat. By midnight, I knew he needed to be seen. So I took him on in to the hospital in our town. He was seen pretty quickly and got some prescriptions, and even including the trip to the pharmacy, we were home within three hours.

Banana had been running a temp since Wednesday night, but it was nothing alarming, and he had no more symptoms. He ran a temp all day Thanksgiving, but was still eating and playing and had no other symptoms. By yesterday morning, his temp had risen to 105.8, and I was in a panic. Our PCP was in Dallas for the holiday, but after calling him, he told me to go to Texas Children's Hospital in Houston right away. I was hesitant, because I'd had Baby Butterbean there once before for suspected pneumonia and waited six hours to see a doctor. I told this to Dr. G, but he insisted I had to go there and that he would call the hospital for me if he had to. After waiting three hours and having Banana's temp checked twice and getting one dose of Motrin, we were finally taken to a room. Two doctors examined him and found nothing wrong (lungs clear, ears and throat looked fine . . .) and they were ready to send us home with the diagnosis of "virus." I told them that Dr. G wanted them to call, and I could tell that they weren't crazy about having to call him, but I'm so glad they did. Long story short, Dr. G ordered bloodwork, and the bloodwork indicated more than just a virus. The white count was really elevated, alarmingly so, so Banana got a chest x-ray (which showed no problems) and a shot of super-antibiotics and a prescription for more antibiotics. His fever was still 105 this morning at about 4AM. We follow up with Dr. G on Monday. By the way, I got to the ER in Houston at 11:15AM yesterday and left at 8:30PM. I felt sorry for those waiting after we left, because the nurse told me there were 85 patients waiting for to be seen.

Whew! I think that's everything for now! I'll get back to everyone after all my laundry is washed, folded, and put away . . . on second thought, no I won't. Ya'll might never hear from me again if I did that!

Thank You So Much, Boss!

I love the fish so much! And even before I read the note, I knew in my heart why you'd picked them . . .

But you may not have known how much I needed the encouragement.

I love you, Boss. Thank you!

Photo Shoot

Post #316

Hey, there!

It's interesting that this is post ends with a 16. 16 years ago today I was almost 16. Now I teach 16-year-olds for a living. And I look at them and think . . . has it really been 16 years? REALLY? Crazy. It doesn't feel like it.

So here's the deal:

When I got the job that I now have, it was as a long-term sub position with the prospect of becoming a contracted position. The teacher for whom I've been subbing was out on medical leave.

Yesterday, that teacher showed up. No warning, nothing. I walk into my (her) room yesterday and she was waiting for me so that she could talk to me about taking over on Monday. Though I was taken by surprise (my last meeting with my boss was one in which I was assured I'd have this job till the end of the year, and maybe longer!), I tried to smile through it and work to figure out some times that I could meet with her and bring her up to speed.

It's not so bad, though. I may be getting a new job - a contracted position! I had an interview yesterday for a 9th grade position, at the 9th grade campus of the same district. So, I wouldn't really be going anywhere - just next door. If I get that job. And I hope I do. Subbing is great and all, and I wish this had turned into a contracted position, and I really love these 11th-graders, but . . . see, in my house we have this habit of eating. And sub pay don't pay so good. Doesn't pay so well. Whatever.

So, I'll keep ya'll posted about all that stuff. In the meantime, I need to post some pictures. My blog is so BLAH without pics of my kids! My kids are cute. They just are. And I love them. It works out well like that in my house.

And I love all of you! And ya'll need to come down to balmy Texas and visit us. We not only love you, we miss you terribly. And you are very good-looking . . . do I need to keep going, or are you packing your bags already?

Right on, CBB

I love my friend CBB so much.

She's trying to help a friend with some questions and wrote this post as a result. I loved reading it. I wanted to share it. I hope you enjoy reading it, too.

I May As Well Out Myself

It feels like a really great day.

My guy won.

Yep, I voted for Obama. I never in my life thought I'd be labeled as a bleeding-heart liberal. I feel like I've been running a gauntlet. It would have been really easy to vote for McCain. I mean, it would have been easy to go with the crowd so that I wouldn't have to tell people that I didn't vote for the "right guy." But I couldn't deny my convictions. And I wouldn't have had an easy time living with myself if I hadn't voted my convictions.

As far as who the "right guy" is, that was each person's decision according to his or her conscience. The only reason I mention it here has to do with a meeting I attended recently. Upon entering the meeting, the conversation began to center around the election and the need to pray. I didn't disagree. But then it became clear that there was a sweeping assumption that everyone in that room was voting for McCain. In my naivete, I hadn't realized what a big deal it was not to vote for McCain. I just thought that everybody was voting for the man they thought was best, and that they had their reasons, and that they were adult enough to make that decision. I only had myself to worry about. It was apparent in the meeting that I was the only one there not voting for the "right guy."

The climate in that room scared me just a bit. But, I got over it. As I have gotten over people telling me they will pray for me if I were to vote for Obama. Hm . . . I won't get prayed for if I vote for McCain? I could really use the prayer either way.

So . . . because I suck at rhetoric, I'm just going to post links to articles that say what I want to say better than I can say it.

Love to you all. I'm so thankful that we live in a place that allows us to make these decisions, and then to freely disagree with one another, or even with our government, if we so choose. I hope that if you disagree with me, we'll be able to have some good discussions (even though I suck at discussions about politics) and come out on the other side even better friends than we were before.

Voting is Cool

My mom told me about her dad and his voting practices. He would say to my mom and grandma, "Ya'll need to go vote." Or, "Did ya'll vote yet?" Probably before or after work, over morning coffee or afternoon coffee. I don't know that it happened like that, but I'd like to think so. Pappa sipping his early morning coffee, before he was off to do whatever errand or job he had that day (he was a plumber). Before my mom was 23 and married to my dad. Grandma in the kitchen, frying some eggs and bacon.

"Ya'll be sure and go vote today," Pappa would say. Never demanding. Just reminding.

And never, my mother said, sharing his political views. Politics were a private issue for Pappa. Mamma said he never talked about them and never told anyone how they should vote.

I loved my Pappa. I always looked forward to seeing him. He died in 1996. He would be surprised, I think, by the way that politics has changed in just the short years since he passed.

Politics, anymore, is definitely NOT a private issue.

Not that it should be. I don't know. You share, I'll share, we can talk about it. But I wonder about Pappa's motives for not sharing. Was it that he was trusting enough of his friends and family to vote their heart, their conscience, and to vote for the right person, so far as they could figure, anyway? Or, could be, that he just didn't want to talk about it. I don't know. But that was his right. Talk about it or don't.

I'm not going to talk about politics. But what I am going to say is, how cool that we live in a place that allows us to vote as we choose. That allows us to vote AT ALL. Not only that, that allows us to stand around the polling area, or sit around in Sunday school or at work or at Wal-Mart or wherever, and discuss our vote. Even disagree with one another! Freely, openly. And when the man is elected, if we don't like him, we can say that! Out loud! Not all places in the world have this freedom.

I trust you to vote for the right guy, so far as you figure who would be the right guy. If we disagree, that's OK. I may not vote for the same guy, after all. But we can stand around somewhere and discuss it later.